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(no subject)

Who: Loki
Broadcast: Everyone
Action: Paisley
When: Right now!

[Action]

[Guess who just shows up to breakfast one... afternoon? Loki emerges from his office, looking for all the world like a man who has just woken up from an extended nap, barely open eyes, trying to stretch his back and shoulders, the whole nine. He wanders into the kitchen, fumbles around until he makes himself something hot and dark enough that he can pretend it's coffee, and stares suspiciously into the cup before drinking.

Ugh, his mouth tastes like someone glued one of Thor's feet to it. Ugh. What possessed him to sleep like this...

(Guess who has no idea he's been missing for weeks~)]

[A bit later: Broadcast]

[Awake now, and... well, he looks amused. Which is to say as if he's planning on flaying someone alive.]

Why yes, I have returned. Hide all of the party favors, lock up your sons and daughters, cancel the pedestrian fireworks displays.

A funny thing, missing time. You'd never know it was gone until someone tells you. Has anyone else fallen victim to such thievery?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She has good reason to.

[ Leto has had people who have tried to help him. And they did care, but he has always rebuffed them on this point. He will not yield on his destiny, no matter how terrible it is. ]

One must know when to be literal and when to literally walk away from a point.

She always has a good reason for that which she does. [A bit dryly.] And a severe allergy to nonsense.

[Snort.]

I should not like to see you go, but I might enjoy watching you leave. [Loki no.]

A wise woman indeed.

[ Such a description reminds him of Susan. She too had a low tolerance for this kind of talk, but Susan also understood. Being the Queen of Narnia had helped with that realization. ]

Then which one is it?

[ He's curious now. He did not think Loki would be endeared to him so quickly. ]

I would not find a less than wise lady at all interesting. [He smirks.] Or one with less of a hard right hook. [He has this thing about women who could kick his ass. Blame Sif.]

[To be fair, he'll flirt with anyone who can keep up their end of one of his mildly twisty conversations without becoming exasperated or boring. Leto is interesting, and so few people are.]

I'd have to see the view first before I could decide, truly.

It leads to the same conclusion. Though I'm not much for violence, I can see why others use it.

[ He is oddly pacifistic, considering the Fremen culture. Ghanima had struck down the man who had (on paper) killed Leto. Blood for blood. You cannot steal water from another tribe without some payback.

But Leto's too old for such things. ]

You didn't get a good enough look before? For shame, Loki.

It is a tool like any other. [He was raised by the Asgardians. Violence is like a handshake, really.]

I have grown forgetful with my advancing years. I seem to have forgotten already. [Grin. Someone who will play the game with him. He enjoys himself so.]

Tools come with their own inherent perils.

[ He raises an eyebrow at that. Old jokes? How . . . very amusing. ]

Then I suppose I must refresh your memory somehow.

And their own inherent fun. If you insist on looking at the gloomy side of such things, you will make me look dangerously optimistic by comparison.

[Such an innocent smile he gives you, Leto. So very innocent.]

The hardships you endure on my account must be trying indeed.

Perhaps it is for the best that I cover ground less tread upon.

[ How convinced he is. . . . Except not. ]

Oh, this is hardly the least of them.

On the contrary, you sound dangerously like most of the humans with whom I've been trapped in a fishbowl. [Teasing. Mostly. Though if Leto ever starts on about truth and justice, he's noping out the nearest airlock.]

The profound suffering. So like a saint enduring a thousand cuts from paper. I feel inspired.

I am human, in a fashion. Though I doubt I can call myself as such anymore.

[ And he doesn't. He is human, but he isn't. Being human but cut off from humanity is not always the easiest knowledge to bear, but humanity will live. ]

Profound? No. Suffering is just suffering. There's nothing noble about it. Therefore, I see it with eyes unclouded.

You are mostly less boring than the other humans. And can string two words together. [He laughs softly.] Call yourself whatever you like. 'tis for you to define yourself. [Though why anyone would want to be human is beyond him.]

[His lips twist in a rather odd smile.]

On that point, we agree.

[ He shrugs. ]

For now, I am the God Emperor.

More of a mouthful than Leto, isn't it. [He idly traces a little pattern in the air with one finger.] Is that a thing distinct from human in your mind?

Gods are always removed from humans. As it should be.

[ It's not really a title he gave himself. It came with his rule. Being the son of a messiah and possessing supernatural powers have convinced the Fremen of his name: God, the Worm. Both God and Devil. ]

How refreshing. [Save him from humans, really. They think they're so bloody special.] Though if you've no other gods about, rather lonely.

[Snort.] Not that having other gods about is really the cure for that, either. [Not when they spend their breath telling you how inadequate you are. Loneliness is preferable.]

[ He shrugs, a disjointed movement. ]

It's best to make sure gods do not, ah, multiply. The universe can only contain so much hubris.

[A very rude snort.]

Then you'd best curb the expansion of humans as well. A more self congratulatory species I have not met outside the Asgardians.

Though at my time, they're quite good at murdering each other.

[ This is like watching the pot rave about the kettle. ]

So are others. Humanity is simply more noticeable at it.

Because there's so bloody many of them. [Even Loki at his most obnoxious is but one person. Besides, he threw shade at the Asgardians too, gosh.]

It can't be helped.

[ Leto doesn't want them to overextend themselves any more than they would. And he'll take drastic measures to ensure that. ]

Though they know better than to test me.

Oh, I doubt that. [Really, he's just poking at this point, but he is still rather salty with humans being such whiners about him invading their stupid realm. And Thor's overbearing protective nonsense. Though that has turned out useful in the end. Though he will grant:]

They're nicely mutable though, I'll give them that.

Oh? Why might that be? [Interesting.]

[ Leto can understand it, but sadly he's firmly in the camp of humanity. He cannot stop loving them. ]

I am their undisputed ruler. They have no choice but to obey.

Now that is investing. How did you manage that? [Torture, he's guessing. Humans can't even agree on the color of their own sky, it's hilarious.]

It's hard to argue with a God. Even harder when they control the lifeblood of the universe.

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