002 || video + action

[nedstarksbastard]

Who: Two literal five-year-olds. (aka: Jon Snow and Theon Greyjoy [reek])
Broadcast: fleetwide! whoops.
Action: Three Twins. sorry gang.
When: now!

[Here’s the setting: the engine room of the Three Twins, and Jon is nowhere to be found. Judging from the sounds of the engines humming coming just off-screen, though, he sounds like he’s actually working on something. Or just trying to familiarize himself with how his new equipment and the ship works--he’s learned from the last disaster he’s had, thankfully off the ship.

Apparently, however, he still hasn’t learned from the last time he was unknowingly filmed, but this time it’s a different culprit.

The culprit isn't a particularly good cameraman. The video is shaky, and the occasional thumb makes an appearance over the lens, but somehow with a little quiet maneuvering, the mystery man manages to get Jon into frame. ]

They're actually letting you work down here? Did they miss your previous attempt?

[ The voice is sharp, it's smug, and there's a note of laughter in every word. Surprise, it's everyone's favorite mess, Theon Greyjoy. ]

Well, I suspect they won't miss it this time. Do your crew a favor and try to keep the fire down this time, Snow.

[Jon makes a noise and whips around. It sounds vaguely like a particularly sulfurous curse that, had Jon Snow known a mother, he wouldn’t even dream of spitting out at his worst enemy. But as things stand, Theon’s getting very, very close to that rank, and Jon never knew his mother anyway.

Note that he has a wrench in his hand. That’ll come in handy later.

His eyes narrow when he sees Theon. This won’t go too well, clearly.]

What are you doing here? [And--wait. Is that--he points his wrench at the communicator.] And turn that off, Greyjoy.

[ Theon only laughs and takes a step closer to bring Jon (and the wrench) further into view. He truly believes Jon is about to set this entire engine room on fire, and proof of it on video would be nothing less than delicious. ]

Simple enough. I sensed your stupidity and had to come see it take shape again. [ You don't need to see Theon's face to know he's grinning a cheshire grin. His smile is totally audible. ] I thought everyone else would like to see as well. I'm sure they're willing to wait.

[This is the face of a man who is most definitely a hair’s breadth from just throwing something at Theon’s head. What is it about Greyjoy that brings out Jon’s inner five-year-old, really?]

You’ve wasted their time then. [Do you see any fires here?] Turn that off and leave, Greyjoy. [Or else, is the underlying threat here. And judging from how tense he is he’s very likely to carry out the unspoken threat.]

[ Another laugh from Theon. He's never humored Snow before, so why should he start now? The shakiness of the camera subsides a bit, as if Theon's leaned back against a wall to wait for the real show to begin. ]

Give it a moment, then we'll decide if I've wasted their time.

[Well. He warned him, and Jon’s angry enough now that he decides, fine. He might not have a sword or any kind of viable weapon with him, but he has a wrench and it’s heavy and it should do the job just fine.

Said wrench is not in Jon’s hand anymore, it’s just been thrown straight at Theon’s head, and Jon himself is probably (read: definitely, whether Theon gets hit or not) going to follow that up with making an attempted grab for the communicator so he can turn it off, which won’t turn out all that well.]

[ Theon tries, he tries so hard to duck the wrench because Jon is predictable and was obviously going to make use of what he had. He nearly makes it, but judging by the loud swear he lets out, he clearly wasn't quick enough. ]

Seven hells, you ass... [ The video is shaking something awful now as two medieval five year olds wrestle with one another to stop it from recording. ] Stop--get away from me, Snow! You're doing it wrong.

Then give it--[wait. Shit.

Wrong button.]

((black is Jon, gold is Theon!))

Comments

video

[resnipstance]

Is... everyone okay in there?

[She'd be judging harder except she's mostly just concerned.]

video like WAY AFTER

[nedstarksbastard]

I'm fine.

[Translated: oh god this is embarrassing, but we're just gonna casually play this off like it's no big deal.]

video also later

[reek]

Fine. Snow seems to be as well, unfortunately. [ See, Theon isn't afraid to tack on how unfortunate it is, unlike some people. ]

[ video ]

[precedented]

Ah. Such maturity! Such displays of grace. You do your Houses proud.

[ This is amazing. Leto has never seen two scions of noble houses descend into such childishness before. All he needed now was one of those terribly unhealthy foods Loki loved to eat. What was it called, pop corn? ]

[ video probably after he and Theon get separated ]

[nedstarksbastard]

[That's enough to chasten any man, even a bastard like Jon, who coughs a little and seems incredibly embarrassed and very sullen over the whole debacle. (Not that he wouldn't throw a wrench at Greyjoy again.)

Dryly:] Is there more you'd like to say, or are you done now? [Because smacking Greyjoy with a wrench aside, Jon actually has things he needs to do. Shockingly.]

[ video ]

[reek]

What would you know of my house?

[ Ah, yes. Theon's decided to make an appearance too after his fiasco with Jon as well. But unlike Jon's, his reaction is a little more hostile. ]

Snow doesn't even have a house. He's a bastard.

Video

[pain_train]

[Wow, boys are dumb, news at 11. Honestly, she'd just leave it alone since it's not really her fire to put out, since neither of these idiots are on her ship, except for which seagull is making noise and pooping on the network right now. Sigh.]

Hey scrub, does Corporal Stewart know you're fucking around and interrupting other people's work?

Video way after the fight gets broken up

[nedstarksbastard]

If they didn't know then, I imagine they know now.

Video

[reek]

[ Ugh, excuse him while he rolls his eyes--mostly out of annoyance at Jon's stupidity, but also because he had vainly hoped to never see Wrath again. ]

This concerns Snow and myself, not you. But Corporal Stewart, as you once knew it, has undergone a change of name. You may now refer to it as Captain Harlaw.

[ Because he needs to honor his mother's side of the family somehow. ]

[video]

[summerschild]

[Well, this is somehow both satisfying and disconcerting to see over the network.]

Don't hurt him, Jon, you'll get in trouble!

[He's heard things about Theon's captain, and he's kind of scared of her.]

[video]

[reek]

[ He's supposed to be leaving both Bran and Sansa alone, but--Bran did approach first, and what Robb doesn't know won't hurt him. ]

You've nothing to worry about, Bran. If he didn't get in trouble for his last mistake, he won't be in trouble for this either, unfortunate as that may be.

[ HI, BRAN. EVERYTHING IS NORMAL AND YOU ARE ALIVE. FORGIVE, PLEASE. ]

[video]

[nedstarksbastard]

He's fine, Bran, he's not too badly hurt. Save perhaps a bruise.

[It's not for lack of trying, though.]

Video

[complicatedliar]

[Yes, Leto, this definitely deserves popcorn. A cup of tea will have to do, though. This is entertaining.]

My, but this is certainly some valuable reporting. [Is he mocking, is he serious? The tone invites interpretation.]

Such grievances require much fresh air.

[How can he make this worse...]

Video

[nedstarksbastard]

[Jon is just going to interpret that tone as mocking, and after the day he's had, he's not really in the mood for mockery. So his answer is curt and snappish.]

You can find them elsewhere, then. There's no lack of grievances being aired here.

Video

[reek]

[ Theon knows that ambiguous tone, because he uses it regularly. Like Jon, he interprets it as mocking, merely because that's what he would intend by it. Take a similar tone in return--although based upon his interaction with Jon in the video, it's clearly sarcasm. ]

I thought others would like to know what a valuable crew member they have on board. Snow's knowledge is clearly leagues beyond anyone else's.

[passingthrough]

Still making friends I see. [That part is for Theon, not that she specifies. Probably not too hard to guess.]

You know it wasn't even very good baiting, Jon.

[nedstarksbastard]

[A long sigh.]

I gave him a chance to get out. He didn't. [A pause, then, somewhat remorsefully:] Though I was the one responsible for posting it.

[reek]

I know him. We've never been friends.

[ Because Theon takes jealousy out like...well, like this. ]

[theshabbiestofmen]

I do hope you're all in one piece.

[Theon, he means.]

[nedstarksbastard]

He's in one piece. Perhaps bruised, but still whole.

[reek]

Snow doesn't have it in him to leave me in more than one piece.

[ Jon Snow before the Wall didn't, at least. ]

Video

[alwayscomeback]

[What the heck. Jon is related to the Starks, and by extension that means Sokka feels the need to give a crap. So:]

...You okay there, Jon?

[He doesn't care about Theon. Theon can go fuck himself. ]

Video

[nedstarksbastard]

I'm well enough. [His pride isn't.] I'm sorry you had to see that, I was going to take it off somehow. Instead--

[A shrug, as if to indicate just how disastrously that attempt went.]

video »

[steeledskin]

Stop it. Please.

[ with whom does she plead? jon, mayhaps. because she speaks so candidly and with such fervour. her worry is extra potent after what he'd revealed to her about his own fate, and she dreads what the turncloak might do to him.

or perhaps she begs theon -- although she's been too craven to speak with him before now. too scared and too inclined to sit holed-up on her ship as thought it was a fortress he could not invade. but now, at odds with her half-brother, she cannot hold her tongue so long as there is distance between her and theon to keep her safe. ]

video »

[nedstarksbastard]

[Well. Way to make him feel guilty, sis.]

It stopped some time ago--he's gone. We're both fine, though I imagine he may be a little bruised. [Also, he's sorry he acted like a five-year-old on the network where you could see. In his defense, he hadn't actually meant to press that button.]

[Video]

[flameandpassion]

[ well. ]

Sounds like he deserved it.

{ lightly

#teamjonsnow ]

[Video]

[nedstarksbastard]

[Be the bigger man, be the bigger man--]

Usually he does.

[You four-year-old.]

voice

[kingofbadlifechoices]

Gods be good, will you stop it?

[Followed by a much sterner:]

Greyjoy, leave Jon be.

voice

[reek]

[ Ohhhh, they're in trouble now. Robb is here. ]

Leave him be? I haven't done anything.

[ Beyond being very annoying. Snow is the one who threw the wrench, though. ]