driftfleet | ACTION | guess who's back, back again (and sad about stuff)

Entry tags:

ACTION | guess who's back, back again (and sad about stuff)

Who: Sam Winchester
Broadcast: N/A
Action: SS Red Fish, space station
When: Today (3-3-16) and for rest of week in the station!

I. RED FISH - Locked to those involved in his waking up.

[The last thing that flashes in Sam's mind is pain - a sort of blinding, horrible, familiar pain. One he's endured before, both inside and outside the Cage. The last memory he has is of Lucifer -- Castiel -- Lucifer, it was Lucifer, and he had speared his hand into Sam's chest and gripped his soul there, pinched his nails into the light and was twisting it, wrenching it, pulling a scream from him before he lost consciousness. And then suddenly he's wide awake with a gasp, jumping up and staggering. He's so out of it, memory still a scratchy blur. Where is Lucifer? He puts a hand to the ache where the devil's hand had been.

He has to get Dean. Save Castiel. But he has no chance against... no chance...

His first thought isn't a space ship, and his first thought isn't being lightyears from home. His first thought is I have to protect myself, or Dean is definitely dead. He smashes a nearby mug, the glass a temporary weapon. Then he staggers out into the halls, the dreary skull decor right out of Lucifer's handbook, white glass clenched in hand.

His vision swarms in colors. He cuts his hand wide open. He's always cutting his hands open. He puts his hand to the wall and begins to paint a symbol in his blood. A sigil. Angel banishment. It will get rid of Lucifer; get him out, make sure he can't twist his fingers in Sam's soul again, give Sam time to think, wrap his pounding brain around what's happening. This isn't the bunker...? Was he teleported?

He's nearly done with the sigil. His hand is steady enough, and it's only minutely sloppy from the rush of finishing it before anything splatters him on the walls...]

II. Red Fish - OTA

[It's not too long after that his memory returns fully to him (and with it, guilt, because he kind of almost banished Cas into space). He sits in the kitchen with a troubled, thoughtful expression taking over his features, his hands wrapped around a less broken mug -- tea. His left hand is bandaged again, and every once and a while he presses the thumb of his uninjured hand into the wound. It's real. He breathes in, breathes out. He won't ask for this to be healed; he'd like it left as is.

He doesn't leave the kitchen for a few hours, just until he can... pull himself together. Something.

Castiel said yes. For some reason, he said yes. Dean is on a submarine heading for death. Sam is probably dead. Dean's vanished from the Fleet. He tries to piece together a silver lining.

Can't currently be done, turns out.]

III. Space station - Bar - OTA

[... Well, he can't just lock himself in the ship. The next day, he forces himself to return to the bar he's been working at; the main owner is surprised to see him, said that an orange-haired woman had told him he was likely not coming back in. Sam wastes no time reclaiming his place behind the bar, and he pastes on a slight smile as he prepares drinks for the ladies at the end of the bar, same as usual.

They say fake it 'til you make it, and Sam's always been pretty good at it.

(Until he's not, but whatever.)

This too shall pass. And then he can let it fester without concerning anyone else, like normal.

(There's gotta be something he can do.)]

IV. Space station - shopping - OTA

[Towards the end of the week, he goes out to see what he can afford on the credits he has. As it turns out, there's some very colorful yarn that he thinks Katie or Sansa might like, so he buys that. He also finds a new mug to replace the one he broke, because he does kind of feel bad that he shattered a perfectly good mug. Maybe he should just spend his credits buying other people stuff, because he's actually kind of feeling a little better doing that.

~~And that is went Sam became a temporary shop-a-holic.~~

One may find him traveling back with a few bags of things.

...... Just. Y'know. Things.

Maybe this is why there are talkshow specials on compulsive spending.]

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[Sam tries to push Nami off, if only because it's for her own good — he's putting all he's got into it, and even with how stiff and uncomfortable he is from lying prone. His ribs hurt a little, yeah, his hand is smearing blood everywhere as he pushes back at Nami and Sye. What are they doing? Are they out of their minds? Or — is he just out of his? He's not sure.

But Cas — Lucifer? — is squatting down near him, and Sam looks at him with an expression of fear, disgust, a bone-deep panic. Cas is speaking so calmly, so patiently, he can only be reminded of Lucifer's display of acting. Of him telling Dean that Sam knew the risks. And then —]

You're not Cas. Nami, you got to see — It's Lucifer...!

It's a trick — !!

[Are they even Nami and Sye? Is he locked up somewhere?

Eternal torment is Lucifer's normal M.O. Sam feels trapped enough for it.

He shoves backwards with that ridiculous leg and back strength, broad shoulders bucking Nami and Sye like he's an animal they're attempting to clamor around like netting; hang on, ladies, it's a struggle. He starts in on painting a bloody circle on the floor, apparently determined to the death to at least try, even knowing Lucifer has him right where he wants him; he spent two lifetimes with Lucifer in Hell. He's got a good stubborn streak in trying to pull the bastard down with him.

Were Nami and Sye's faces just diversions—??]

[She follows Nami and Sam down to the floor, trying to contain him. She grabs for his wrist again, stopping him from drawing more things in blood on the ship. He's got them in size, possibly in strength, especially with his panick fueling his fire. This is getting out of hand. Someone is going to get hurt.

She puts her knee firmly on his wrist, transfers the hand to his shoulder, and her free one begins making gestures in the air above his face, while she speaks words no one on the ship likely understand but her (it's Faerun Elvish). A golden light forms quickly and then bursts softly over Sam's face. If the Charm works, Syeira will seem like his best friend in the room, highly trusted. She will also seem to glow a little, like a shining star to catch his notice and keep it.]

Sam, listen to me. You are safe. We are your friends. This is Cas. It's only Cas, and he's not going to hurt you.

[Who's rapidly feeling out of her depth? This navigator, that's who. It's just as well Sye is casting her charm spell, because at Sam's adamant insistence that Cas is Lucifer her grip slides, loosens nearly to the point of breaking, and the look she throws Cas is unmistakably horrified for that split second before her own logic catches up. What Sam is saying can't be true for a variety of reasons, least of which being Cas has been here the whole time and he's, you know, the wrong Cas.

What the hell.]

Sam--

[But that's as far as she gets before Sye starts chanting, and there's a sort of protective wariness there while she watches. Great. Sam uses magic, Sye uses magic, sure why not, she has no idea what either spell does, but Nami's not exactly solving the situation, so...]

[ lucifer. that name means different things to different people, and cas can't help but find it a little bitterly ironic that it's sam accusing him of being lucifer, of all people-

nevertheless, he's quickly realizing that his presence here isn't really making things any better. whatever's going on with sam, cas is some sort of catalyst making it all worse, but he can't help but linger anyway, even if he knows that he shouldn't, because it's sam, and cas has got to look out for him, make sure he's all right.

still, he keeps his distance nonetheless, watching quietly while syeira works a spell he isn't familiar with, but appears harmless enough. cas averts his eyes, though, studying a chip on the wall as if he's never seen anything more interesting in his life. ]

[Sam struggles, but it lessens, and he stops and looks at Syeira with a look of confusion... but he's calming. He pants tiredly and shakes his head weakly against the floor. Nami and Sye don't have to hold him as firmly.]

Syeira, you don't understand... He said 'yes'...

[Trust is there, yes, but he also knows trusting can't always be helped. Lucifer's grip is strong over people; he's good at playing up a part. Good at pretending to be someone else. He had held Sam's hand — he'll, he's kissed him — with Jess' face. And that was before everything, before he'd even grown to utterly hate Sam for ruining his odds.

But things are catching up. He squeezes his bleeding hand into a tight fist, and the pain doesn't exactly take him back like it used to, but it's a reminder. A small, important reminder. He blinks and looks around, looking like he's lost in a haze. But at least he knows he may very well be in one.]

... The Red Fish... Sye, I —

I was here before. Did I leave?

[His voice is low. Under Nami's hand, his heart races, but he's still.]

I went back. I... Lucifer's out. He's out...

[He curls his unbloodied hand in his hair, head hanging and face hidden, a look of desperation and hopelessness.]

I need... please — just. I'm sorry, Cas. I'm s...

Give me a minute. I just need a minute.

[She catches Nami's eye and nods her head, a motion to let off of Sam. And she'll move to do just that, purposely sliding her other hand through the marks Sam had tried to make on the floor. Just in case.

Now she kneels there beside her crewmate, wearing his blood like it's nothing.]

You fell asleep and no one could wake you. You never left.

[Nami's grip eases, but she doesn't let go. Not entirely. She can feel his heart hammering, and her fingers curl over the curve of Sam's shoulder instead.]

Cole said sometimes when people do that, they update. [Her voice is tight.] Shift forward in their own future. [She'd really like him to believe it was just a nightmare, but from the sounds of it that's a luxury that can't be afforded. Even knowing as little as she does, Lucifer's out and he said yes paints a vast picture.

Shit. She's sorry, Sam. The best she can offer?]

It hasn't happened here yet.

[Pretty thin compensation.]

Edited 2016-03-06 07:19 (UTC)

[ cas is quiet, tight-lipped even after sam begins to ease, whatever spell syeira worked on him apparently taking hold, lubricating sam's surrender. still he listens while the girls talk, while sam apologizes and dips his head, and for the first time in a long while cas has nothing to say. it's like being his old self again, aloof and turned inward, all of his thoughts roiling in his mind privately.

what's he supposed to say?

he said yes, sam had said with conviction, and cas has no reason not to believe him. his mind is immediately traveling down a hundred different avenues, tracing out reasons, possibilities, any and all motivation he might have ever found to say yes to lucifer, but he's coming up dry.

anyway. he can think about that later. for now, cas shifts into movement, stepping aside and through the open archway into the kitchen galley, where he's filling up a cup with cold water before he's back, boots scraping. he kneels near enough to sam to offer the cup, but not so close as he otherwise might. ]

Here, Sam.

[Sam looks up, all but kicked in his expression. He takes the cup in his uninjured hand, the glass only trembling slightly. He's still on edge, his whole body tightly coiled from the heart outward. But right now, he just feels an immense guilt — because not only is this Cas and not Lucifer, but this is... this is just the Cas from 2014, who wouldn't have so much as a clue as to why Lucifer could have been an issue for him. Him in a world where Lucifer is supposed to be locked away.

The tables are a little turned, aren't they? Now Lucifer has Castiel's body, and he's probably killing Sam right now, and — and Sam's not sure what he's returning home to, if he does. That's not important. what is right now, in this moment:]

Cas, I'm... so sorry.

[She takes in the scene around her. No one's badly hurt, nothing's broken, and for the moment it seems the danger has passed.

And her hands are coated in fresh, wet blood and it's making her pulse speed up. The tension in the room is winding down, and within her it just wants to kick up more. She takes a slow breath, lets it out.

It's been a while since she'd been around fresh blood.]

I need to wash my hands. If you're okay [this half directed at Sam, half Nami, for the one who might explode, and the one who would be left to clean up the mess], I'm going to go clean up. I'll be right back.

[Nami glances up at that, sees how much blood she's managed to get on her hands, and makes a small face. Yeah, go wash up.] Yeah. It should be all right... Sye? [Was that her name?] I'll deal with things here.

[Her gaze also drifts to Cas as she speaks. She looked horrified earlier, but now she just feels bad. This'd be akin to Sam finding out there was a reality in which he lost to the devil, huh.]

[ cas's heart aches at sam's apology, and nami's certainly not wrong - it doesn't feel great to hear it, to know that apparently in every timeline ever he's a screw up, can't make the right decisions for the life of him. and sam's timeline - that's supposed to be the better one, the one where they win. so much for that consolation.

but cas doesn't have time to feel sorry for himself here, when they've got sam to take care of. ]

Not your fault. Don't worry about it.

[ he says, nodding toward syeira as she goes, easily aware of how uncomfortable she seems to be but he's got his hands full enough here, he can worry about her later. ]

Go on, drink up. You've been out for awhile, you're probably dehydrated.

[He takes a drink, and has to school himself to not just gulp it all down in one sitting. His fingers tremble just a bit as he lowers it from his lips, and he breathes in deep, as if trying to pull himself all back together. He will worry about it. And it is his fault, to a degree, regardless of his mindset or what had confused him so utterly.]

Ah... Yeah...

[He looks around tiredly at the blood.]

You guys should go. I mean... I'll clean this mess up.

Sure. We'll abandon you to mop up this area while you're still bleeding everywhere and not feeling all that great. [Tart.] What wonderful friends we are.

How about-- [She finally gets up off Sam, and offers him an arm to help himself up.] You go and treat that before you do more damage to yourself. And get your bearings. [Take a minute to get your head straight. It's all the space she can offer right now.]

[ ordinarily nami's sassy remark would earn at least a grin from him, but cas remains quietly stonefaced, even if he's nodding in agreement and standing up again, back to his feet. ]

She's right, go clean yourself up, Sam. Take a shower, clear your head, we'll take care of this.

[Sam looks ready to object to Nami's idea (it's not like that, it's not about leaving your friend) -- but then Cas also joins in, and he feels too damn guilty and reminded to argue with him. Instead he nods at them both as Nami helps him to standing, and figures... yeah, yeah... he is tired. He looks at his bloody hand, the wound unpleasant to look at, and breathes out through his nose.]

... Alright. Shower. Okay.

[He moves toward the bathroom, still feeling a little disconnected.

But right -- right. Shower, a place to clear his head.

Can do.

Can friggin do.]

[Nami moves aside to let Sam pass, her hand staying on his shoulder until he moves out of range. Once he's gone, the breath leaves her all at once and she tips her head back to rest against the wall. That... could have gone better. All round.

After a moment, she flicks a tired glance to Cas.]

What was he drawing on the wall?

[ it's instinctive to want to reach out and pat sam on the shoulder as he passes, but this time cas keeps his hands to himself. the guy seems a little hair-triggered at the moment, and apparently cas is a catalyst here, so he thinks it might be best to just.. not.

once sam's gone though, he sighs and lifts his eyes to the smeared mark on the wall. ]

Angel banishing sigil. Probably would have launched me out to the middle of nowhere, outer space, if he'd gotten it off. No idea if I've got enough grace left in me for it to work, but I'd rather not have found out.

[ a beat. ]

I'll grab some towels.

Yeah, no... [She sounds a little dazed. Angel banishing, huh. No wonder.

She doesn't respond straight away, her thoughts turned inward, but when Cas turns to go she glances up sharply.]

Hey. Will you be all right?

[ cas looks a little surprised, like he's not expecting her to ask that, never expects anyone to ever really care too much about his wellbeing. people don't really ask each other that, back home. ]

I'm, uh.. yeah. [ he says, a little uncertainly, then nods. ] Yeah, I'm fine. Not me you need to worry about, anyway.

[ and he's off for those towels, now. ]

[Liar.

But you know, that's clearly a conversation for another day. Nami crouches down to pick up the pieces of glass from the floor, then heads for the kitchen to get water.

What a mess.]

[ liar indeed, but nami doesn't chase him down or pry for more as he's leaving, which is just as well, as far as cas is concerned.

it doesn't take him long to snag up a handful of towels and get them damp before he's back in the hall, scrubbing away at the half-dried sigil on the wall. ]

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ACTION | guess who's back, back again (and sad about stuff)

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