WE'RE ALL WEIRD PEOPLE & WE LOVE IT

[mylegacy]

Who: the caprine shitshow
Broadcast: none.......
Action:
When: right meow

[when life gives you lemons throw them at your crew]

[specifically the captain]

[actually just throw everything at the captain he's got a hard skull he can take it]

Comments

[nextlineis]

[Hey Caprine, once again you've got some music on rotation. (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6) You can send your complaints to your captain or your (honorary) first mate. You'll probably find Joseph loafing about in the pilot's seat, Cloudy in her dog bed nearby. He might be reading comics, he might be napping, he might be dicking around on his communicator, he might actually be doing his job. Who the fuck knows honestly?]

[But when he's not actually at the seat, he's actually working hard with Cloudy. He's been lucky to have her and to have the crew not mind having her around, but that doesn't mean she can run wild. So sometimes he might still be on the bridge or he might be in the communal bunk, on the floor with her doing some training with her. (No, not hamon training. Calm down. Dogs can't do hamon and Joseph hasn't been replaced by an evil twin.) They warm up with some doggy push-ups (read: sitting and laying down repeatedly), but then it's onto the very hard stuff like stay and leave it. But you know, someone with very little impulse control themselves trying to teach it to someone else (even if that someone else is a dog) was never going to be easy. Still, Joseph and Cloudy seem to be having fun with it and it always ends with a lot of slobbery kisses and belly rubs, so I mean. You win some, you lose some.]

[mylegacy]

[It's honestly hard to figure out what to address first, Caesar muses when he enters the bridge and leans against the doorway, watching Joseph. The music is the first thing. None of it actually goes together, which is vaguely aggravating already, but what are these lyrics . . . how many motherfuckers can there even be?]

[And then there's the training, which seems to be going well until Joseph gives in to dog cuddles, because isn't that typical. Caesar sighs a little and crosses over to crouch down next to Cloudy, deliberately ignoring Joseph in favor of ruffling her ears.]

Hi, you.

[jojo who???]

[nextlineis]

[Okay, losing Caesar's attention to Cloudy isn't the worst thing in the world. Cloudy's certainly ecstatic about it and starts wiggling, giving his hand kisses that were previously dedicated to Joseph. And that's okay, too. Besides, if Caesar feels like ignoring him, Joseph will just make it impossible to do so successfully and leans over to kiss Caesar's cheek.]

You missed it. She stayed for a whole five seconds earlier!

[mylegacy]

[That was so weird . . . who just kissed him? It was probably Cloudy. Cloudy is pure and good. Not like that other person. Bland? Egg? Him?]

Did you stay for five whole seconds? Did you?

[oojaboo........]

[nextlineis]

[Joseph actually does not fuss at being vaguely ignored. Mostly because Cloudy is losing her fool mind right now and the wiggling around has intensified exponentially. She's upping her cute game trying to get more scritches out of Caesar. Give it a minute though and more Joseph's obnoxious tactics will be unloaded to get Caesar's attention. For now, he just leans heavily on Caesar and hums along with the music.]

[mylegacy]

[My god, he will never tell a soul but this dog is really fucking cute. Maybe she's not the worst addition to their little . . . cluster.]

[And it's because she puts him in a good mood that he gives up eventually and leans over without looking to drag Joseph over by the collar. It's only when he's close that he looks up. And smirks.]

Hi, you.

[nextlineis]

[Stop being so tsundere about a dog, you weirdo.]

[Joseph's able to stay patient just long enough that he doesn't start causing a fuss. Cloudy, on the other hand, is devastated about having to share the attention as can easily be guessed by how she's trying to wedge herself into Caesar's lap. Joseph grins at Caesar though.

Oh, it's my turn now?

[mylegacy]

[NEVER. And anyway, look, Cloudy, he can multitask. Pet the puppy, pet the needy boyfriend.]

It's your turn now if you can share.

[. . .]

[Except because Caesar is all talk, he leans in for a kiss right away anyhow. Screw it.]

[nextlineis]

[Joseph's about to make a good case about how well he can share since he does it all the time with Suzie and Caesar, but that argument dies the moment he starts getting kissed. And thank God for that. Not that he doesn't secretly relish in it when Caesar makes him work for it, but goddamn if he doesn't also like it when it's easy.]

You should tell that to her. She seems to be having a harder time with it.

[Yes, continue petting the puppy. Cloudy agrees with this decision. But consider only petting the puppy because look, she can give kisses too!]

[mylegacy]

Mmm, is she? I think she's doing fine.

[Mostly, in fairness, because he's far better at being patient with her than he is with Joseph - not to mention the fact that even as he continues to distractedly pet her, he hasn't actually moved that far from Joseph, because of one important, nay crucial, fact.]

[He smells really good.]

She's doing good, huh?

[nextlineis]

[Joseph should probably file a complaint that Cloudy gets more slack than he does, but... He'll get around to that later. Maybe. Because it's really hard to file a complaint against a cottonball. Especially once it's all snuggled into your boyfriend's lap.]

Really good, [Joseph says as he gently bumps his nose into Caesar's cheek before kissing it.] She's really smart, you know.

[He kisses Caesar on the lips again.]

Just don't start trying to train her in hamon, okay?

[mylegacy]

I won't. She'd gang up on me with you.

[No, she wouldn't. Not if he had treats, okay. But he might be too distracted to give her treats, because kisses.]

You're doing good, too. Even though she's smarter than you are.

[nextlineis]

[That's the only problem with dogs. Their loyalty and love is very easily bought. But that's not really a problem either. Basically, Cloudy is perfect.]

She is not! [Joseph says with a small puff of laughter.] We're at least the same.