driftfleet | In like a Tourist, out like a lamb

[ for winn, it would have ended up being the opposite, if space wasn't also lacking in the real food department. stripped of his tech, stripped of his comfort food, stripped of all but one of his cardigans - what's a guy to do, but freak out? and don't say work out. please don't say work out.

yes. a giant crab monster is also scary. it doesn't make death by space any less scary, the two are not mutually exclusive and you know what? now he's also terrified of giant crab monsters - are those a thing? someone go check under his....couch.

winn listens intently to the explanation, grateful for some real information at last, as well as the distraction - from space and their previous conversation. ]

So hypothetically, if we can figure out how to navigate this thing, and how to cut it off from remote control - [ yes, two completely improbably actions, he knows, but they're all pieces to the puzzle, and what does he really have to do here but work on them? don't say work out. ] if we punch in those numbers we'll make it to this verse's earth? [ he may be memorizing them. ]

_{[ It's a great way to relieve stress, all right? You should try it
Winn. He promises you'll feel better - or be to tired to care. Either way,
it's better than what you're currently feeling, right?}

_{oh no, when he says giant crab he means like a thirty foot tall red
creature with a prehensile tongue. It would not fit underneath your bed, by
any stretch of the imagination.}

_{He gives a shake of his head and a sympathetic look. ]}

Not that simple. Atroma controls these ships so taking them so far isn't possible - and I'm fairly certain it's with more than remote control. Other people have tried to leave, and Atroma has pulled them back or stopped them. I'm not even sure these little ships can make the necessary jumps in the first place.

Not saying it's not worth exploring - I want to go home too. But just prepare yourself for the long haul.

[ most likely, he'll be tired and frustrated and self-loathing at how quickly it made him tired and frustrated.

his imagination is pretty stretchy, ok! just. just look in there. ]

This is all in the hypothetical - [ he's perfectly aware of how long a haul it's gonna be, especially since he can't discuss a single thing in private thanks to their wonderful overlords' desire to snoop - but if he doesn't do anything it won't just be long, right, it'll be the rest of his life or until they get bored of him. and have you seen him freak out? he's pretty entertaining! ]

When you say 'pulled them back or stopped them' - do you have any specifics? [ he'll take any spec of actual information about atroma and their abilities ]

_{[ Oh he's getting plenty of entertainment over this particular freak
out. Though he is seeing how you and Kara are friends. It must be adorable
when you freak out together. ]}

One guy essentially opened a dimensional portal if I understand him right, and - nope. That got shut down, and he's back here.

Needless to say, I think we're going to have to come at this from sideways if we plan to get home.

[ oh, kirk. this doesn't even rank as a freak out, you have much to learn, you sweet summer child. ]

If -- who is he? [ because you know what that sounds like someone he would like to talk to himself! ]

I'm open to suggestions.

_{[ He'll look forward to that day. Or maybe not. It depends on when it happens. ]}

Goes by the name Alphonse Elric. You can contact him through the network easily enough.

Right now, I don't have much of one for you. We're stuck in the waiting and gathering more information stage of this sort of thing.

[ don't worry, kirk, chances are it won't be when you need him to do something useful, something useful would keep his mind off the freak out. ]

I'll look him up, thanks.

[ he nods ]

Usually the stage I excel in. [ but these computers are giving him nothing. he feels betrayed. ] So -- what's the craziest place you've ever been to? [ he may as well prepare himself for what might be ahead. and maybe hopefully find a story to latch onto for distraction. this guy already thinks that him thinking is him freaking out -- maybe it's childish but he wants to regain some cool points in front of someone kara obviously cares for.

maybe crazy wasn't the best descriptive to ask for for that purpose. ]

_{[ Always good to know, you know, since he's been told you are more or less going to be staying on their ship in Kara's office.

He can understand the betrayal part. He had tried the same, attempting to coax out information from the systems, dig deeper, find that one little piece that might send them cascading towards answers. But nothing. Nothing he wasn't sure others could access as well, and now he would be suspicious of finding anything in the first place.

At the question he chuckles and looks towards the ceiling as he considers. ]}

Hmmm, that's a bit of a tough one. I did all the normal routes in Star Fleet, and we've known about most of those planets for awhile, so I don't know if I would call them crazy... But I guess if I had to choose, it was this ice planet I ended up on. For such a barren little world, it had some pretty deadly creatures on it - big too. It was surprising considering I would think they'd be more compact to combat the cold, but evolution works in strange ways.

And for future reference - giant carnivorous crabs don't like fire.

[ yeah, you're basically stuck with him now. every purchase of kara comes with one free winn you absolutely cannot take back or re-gift. enjoy! ]

Evolution is basically a drunk driver.

[ it does a lot of really stupid things. like creating giant carnivorous crabs. ]

I'll -- keep that in mind. They don't like it in the 'it makes them mad' sort of way, or 'light 'em up like the fourth of July' way?

[ because the distinction is very important, ok. ]

_{[ He's not regretting it - yet. ]}

It doesn't like it in that it dropped me before it could eat me and ran away kind.

_{[ The memory is not his favorite, though he looked back on it with a sort of... not fondness. He wasn't sure how he looked back on it to be honest. The emotions there were somewhat complicated, even now, though mostly he got a good story out of it. ]}

It didn't bother us again I and the guy who saved me made it over to the Star Fleet station located on the planet.

[ and in the end, isn't not being regretted yet what we all want? ]

Always carry matches in case of giant crabs - got it.

[ he's not sure he'd call this a good story - but hey if he ever faces a giant crab and this story saves his life he will forever be grateful for having heard it! ]

Any other tips?

_{[ Well... life goals, Winn. It's good to have them. ]}

_{[ Well, he didn't tell you the story like he usually does. The whole getting marooned part and running into his first lieutenant's older self in said cave. He trimmed it down for the sake of not blowing more of Winn's mind. ]}

Don't throw up in the shuttle.

_{[ He smirks at him, teasing Winn around his water bottle. He's not sorry, Winn. ]}

[ realistic goals, everyone needs one or two things they can actually achieve.

winn's mind deeply appreciates the sentiment. at least he didn't freak out over giant carnivorous crabs. yet. ]

Too late.

[ he'd very much like to be cool, but he isn't. pretending otherwise - well it's exhausting and pointless, sometimes - it's just easier to steer into the skid ]

_{[ There's a moment of looking at him at that admission and then a little sigh, shaking his head ever so slightly. ]}

Did you at least clean it out?

_{[ Cause they have to share those things, Winn. ]}

It was a joke.

[ he's not sure if this guy is taking him too seriously, or just thinks really lowly of him.

leaning towards the latter, since he's asking him if he left his disgusting mess to congeal. ]

_{[ Well, you were the one freaking out about the whole 'floating' thing, and it wasn't the first time he'd seen someone get sick their first time in space. It was understandable that the loss of gravity and 'direction' messed with your head and equilibrium, though actually throwing up was a bit more rare.

A brow arches at that and he turns to put the bottle in the bin. ]}

Ah. Well, that's a relief. Sorry, you're really good with that straight face. Wouldn't happen to play poker, would you?

[ because it's freaky! just because you're used to space! ]

I'm not much of a gambler, but I can play.

[ get to know him a little bit, and you'll find that he's painfully easy to read, unfortunately. but what he lacks in lying skills - he makes up for with awkwardness and a really good head on his shoulders that's very well equipped for card strategy. ]

_{[ Better hope the gravity doesn't go out then! ]}

We should play sometime. I could use something new to do around here. You can only run on a treadmill for so long before you begin to go a little stir crazy.

_{[ Proper male bonding time. Maybe they could get Fenris and Varric in on it, though Kirk wasn't sure either of them knew how to play. ]}

[ hoping his hardest! ]

So for like, 5 minutes.

[ that's about how long as he can imagine doing it for. he's never really tried, but, you know, he just has a feeling that it won't be his thing.

but finally, kirk gets a smile. proper male bonding time sounds a lot better than their constant misunderstanding of each other that's been going on so far. they're stuck here together, and they both care about kara. it's better if they get along. ]

You're on.

Well, I last a bit longer than that, but it's a pretty close guess.

_{[ Except not, Kirk goes for at least an hour if he can. He's all about the physical fitness, not least because he knew what it felt like to be physically helpless and he did not wish to be in such a state again. Among other things. It's complicated.

He smiles back and he nods, glad they had found a common ground at last. ]}

Great! Finally, a good way to pass the time between planets.

[ a little longer, sure - he appreciates you sparing his manly pride, there, kirk, even if he knows that it's not even close. ]

Yeah, from what I've been hearing this place is seriously lacking in those. [ it's a relief that they've found one that he wouldn't totally suck at. ]

_{[ No problem, Winn. ]}

Makes me miss my Enterprise. She had a whole entertainment deck with a bowling alley and a pool.

_{[ He's almost pouting. ]}

In like a Tourist, out like a lamb

I bow before your made up science abilities!

/makes magic sparkle fingers

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