002. text + action.

[astrobleme]

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: SS Heron.
When: 3/12.

[network.]

[Shinji rewrites this about a dozen times before he finally decides to post it. It reads:]

Hello. My name is Shinji Ikari. I'm a pilot that's stationed on the Heron. I'm sorry if I'm not using the network as it's intended, but I don't know how else to distribute this message. I've been a member of the Fleet for over a month now and I've met quite a lot of people who have treated me well. It's something I wasn't expecting at all. I haven't been in the best frame of mind, but people have gone out of their way to reassure me, offer to help me, or just talk to me. That's something else I wasn't expecting. I don't know why anyone bothers to talk to someone like me.

The point of this message is to say that I'm grateful. I'd like to thank all of those people, and repay them, if at all possible. I don't know some of their names or contact information, though. I do have an easier time of thanking my crew - I'm doing that now - thank you, everyone, for putting up with me. And hello to anyone who's newly assigned. Anyway, I'm on the Heron, like I said, and I have small tokens of my appreciation to give out if people want them. I'll be in the cargo bay all day by the gym equipment. Although it's kind of pathetic, a single conversation is enough to qualify for this. (Talking to people is helping my ratings...)

Kaworu-kun and Asuka, I have things to give you too. I know it's a little early for White Day.

Unrelated question: Is it possible to delete any content that's posted to the network? I'm guessing not, but maybe I missed an option for that.

Thank you for your time.


[action, aboard the Heron.]

[Shinji can be found sitting in the cargo bay, on a stretching mat, nearest to the gym equipment. He's young-looking and more than a little sleepless, wondering if he shouldn't have made that embarrassing post. He's in the middle of nervously, repeatedly digging his fingers into a netted bag of colorful marbles that he won from the arcade on the Starlight. They're beautiful glass marbles, each crafted to resemble a foreign galaxy.

This isn't much of a gift, but he hopes it isn't a stupid one.

He looks up whenever he has a new visitor. Before he says anything, he pauses his music player and takes out at least one of his earbuds.]

Hey.

Comments

[astrobleme]

[Shinji holds up the envelope for Asuka to take. But when she closes her fingers around it, he doesn't let go. There's a weird and tense moment when she tries to tug it, naturally, and he refuses to let go. He looks down at their hands, and then he looks up at her face, his smile fading away.

She won't like it. Maybe she'll even hate it. Maybe he should... offer something else, even though he can't see it as a... not a gift... nothing about him could be considered a gift. She's been so patient with him, though. More patient than he deserves. He doesn't want to string her along, but he also doesn't want to lose her.

Holding his breath (he remembers what she dislikes), he leans in and kisses her on the mouth. It's an incredibly chaste, childlike thing, but he's very red all over, cheeks to ears and back again, just a second later. He turns his head away a second after that, and then he lets go of the envelope.]

Sorry, [he says, out of instinct.]

[interstices]

[She stiffens up automatically when he leans in close (what is he doing? is he going to make her fight for the card?)-- thoughtful enough not to lean in on her blind side. She's not used to him being that close-- and then, like a memory on repeat, his lips are on hers. They feel just the same. Hers are parted like she's about to ask a question, devoid of lipstick or even lip gloss. God, if someone had told her she'd become so boring, she'd--]

[She can't believe it. If Shinji's red, Asuka might as well be a fire hydrant long before he pulls back. She even grabs his wrist with her free hand for a moment as if she's about to pull him back in when he drops the envelope in her other hand.]

Don't say sorry. [She's actually breathing in an unsteady sort of rhythm as she tears open the envelope, hurriedly, certain she looks like a fool. There's a soft, flickering warmth in her eye that wasn't there before, weak as candlelight. It might be stupid, but it might be hope.]

[She tugs out the giftcard, taken aback. It's for a clothing boutique. Asuka looks up hesitantly, like she's expecting it not to be for her at all, and then she starts to smile.] Thank you.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji is expecting to get slapped, or shoved, or kicked, or something. He didn't ask for permission or signal what he was doing until he was already doing it. He waits for a reprisal, and waits some more; she tells him not to apologize; he swallows the next apology on his tongue. Robbed of words, he licks at his lips nervously, now reflecting on the kiss itself. It was soft, dry, and unsurprising for its lack of flavor. Not bad. Not spectacular, but not bad...

At last, Asuka takes out the gift card. He's back to holding his breath, because this is the real test, he thinks. Maybe she'll jump to conclusions and feel insulted. Maybe she'll think it's a useless gesture. Maybe she'll call him a pervert for thinking about her wardrobe.

"Thank you," she says.

Even his toes are tingling with relief.]

The... The plugsuit just seems... inconvenient, so I thought... if you wanted to wear something else, you could... you can... pick out whatever you want.

[interstices]

It is. Yeah.

[Earlier, on the Vanquish with Nagisa, she'd felt like such a fool in the charcoal jumpsuit. But she'd started to feel bad about the plugsuit, too, how stubbornly she held onto it even without an Eva to pilot. She barely wore anything else at WILLE, not just because sorties were inevitable and constant, but because she felt too vulnerable without it. The plugsuit was a shield, a barrier to the outside world, like one of those long-extinct mimosas that used to dot Japan, whose leaves would curl away at the slightest touch. Maybe it's a shield she doesn't need anymore.]

[Maybe she'll even buy a dress. Asuka doesn't know what's in, or what was in on Earth, as long as it's been since she's shopped at all for clothes. All out of practice. She looks over at him, biting the inside of her cheek. Eventually, she reaches over and nervously squeezes his hand.]

We're still going to be by the space station for awhile, right? I'll get something nice.

[astrobleme]

[Despite the intimacy of a kiss, Shinji doesn't know how to deal with Asuka holding his hand. It's a rare thing for them to touch each other at all. Shinji is familiar with Kaworu's hand, of course, but Asuka's is different in craft. It's smaller than Kaworu's, a little warmer, and definitely not as pale... He looks up and over again, wondering if she's feeling lightheaded like him.]

Uhm, actually, I heard a rumor that we might not be here for more than another week, so... so that's why I wanted you to have this early. So you'll have time to make use of it. I didn't look around in the store too much, but it did seem full of nice things. And the staff was... very eager to help out...

[To begin with, they assumed Shinji was there to buy something for himself. It was mortifying.]

[interstices]

Yeah?

[Asuka keeps blinking hard. Not because she's about to cry-- that would be disturbing-- but because she still doesn't exactly think this is quite real yet. She feels a bit like a puppet, nodding and affirming everything he says, but she yanks herself out of it with her next words, finally withdrawing her hand, the flush on her face starting to fade.]

Then you should come with me.

[astrobleme]

[???]

Come with you?

[As in... going shopping with Asuka? For clothes? As a chaperone? Shinji doesn't know the first thing about fashion, other than a quietly held belief that Asuka is stunning in yellow. The red plugsuit is all right, but he's uncomfortable with too much exposure to red anything. Reminds him of what he's trying to forget.]

What do you need me for...?

[interstices]

To make sure it looks good, stupid.

[She's starting to recover herself a little. Just a little. But it isn't quite enough. She wants to tell him how long it's been since she's bought clothes, but, well, he'll probably decide it's his fault if she does. After a moment, she lets go of his hand.]

I've got some money, you know. I can get more than an outfit or two.

[astrobleme]

You trust my judgment?

[More like she wants to buy things that will appeal to him. His cheeks are still red and not getting any better. He doesn't reach for her hand, but he has leaned in closer, his voice lower, confidential. He thinks about kissing her again. And even while he's thinking about it--weirdly enough, he's too afraid to do it. He doesn't like having such an effect on her.]

I have no idea what's fashionable or not.

[interstices]

Neither do I.

[He's dead right. Nobody has cared what she looked like in a long time, least of all herself. She lets him lean in closer without tenseness or protest.]

But you're going anyway.

[astrobleme]

When did "should" turn into "have to"? [Shinji asks, his eyes narrowing. It's a token protest. Nothing he could say is going to make Asuka change her mind.]