driftfleet | 002. text + action.

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: SS Heron.
When: 3/12.

[network.]

[Shinji rewrites this about a dozen times before he finally decides to post it. It reads:]

Hello. My name is Shinji Ikari. I'm a pilot that's stationed on the Heron. I'm sorry if I'm not using the network as it's intended, but I don't know how else to distribute this message. I've been a member of the Fleet for over a month now and I've met quite a lot of people who have treated me well. It's something I wasn't expecting at all. I haven't been in the best frame of mind, but people have gone out of their way to reassure me, offer to help me, or just talk to me. That's something else I wasn't expecting. I don't know why anyone bothers to talk to someone like me.

The point of this message is to say that I'm grateful. I'd like to thank all of those people, and repay them, if at all possible. I don't know some of their names or contact information, though. I do have an easier time of thanking my crew - I'm doing that now - thank you, everyone, for putting up with me. And hello to anyone who's newly assigned. Anyway, I'm on the Heron, like I said, and I have small tokens of my appreciation to give out if people want them. I'll be in the cargo bay all day by the gym equipment. Although it's kind of pathetic, a single conversation is enough to qualify for this. (Talking to people is helping my ratings...)

Kaworu-kun and Asuka, I have things to give you too. I know it's a little early for White Day.

Unrelated question: Is it possible to delete any content that's posted to the network? I'm guessing not, but maybe I missed an option for that.

Thank you for your time.

[action, aboard the Heron.]

[Shinji can be found sitting in the cargo bay, on a stretching mat, nearest to the gym equipment. He's young-looking and more than a little sleepless, wondering if he shouldn't have made that embarrassing post. He's in the middle of nervously, repeatedly digging his fingers into a netted bag of colorful marbles that he won from the arcade on the Starlight. They're beautiful glass marbles, each crafted to resemble a foreign galaxy.

This isn't much of a gift, but he hopes it isn't a stupid one.

He looks up whenever he has a new visitor. Before he says anything, he pauses his music player and takes out at least one of his earbuds.]

Hey.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Honestly, more unsettling things have happened. Shinji used to fight gigantic aliens with a towering cyborg that contained the soul of his mother. Meeting himself wouldn't be that bad. But this isn't himself. This is a complete stranger. A coincidence.]

Haruka-san...

[He's trying to be polite, even though he's still uncomfortable.]

This has never happened to me. I don't know what to do in this situation.

[ Yes, you are definitely not Haruka Tenoh. ] Does it bother you that much?

Edited 2016-03-16 14:15 (UTC)

Mmm... not "bothered"... running out of batteries is "bothersome," while this is... [Shinji is trying to think of the right word for it.

Still thinking.

Still thinking.]

I don't know.

[So pathetic.]

Haruka-san, how long have you been with the Fleet?

[ ....the more Haruka thinks about the answer to that question the more discouraged, depressed, and frustrated she becomes. So she shrugs all that off before replying. ] It stays what you make of it.

[ Unless that isn't what you were asking, in which case, pardon her. ]

[Awkwardly enough, being kidnapped is the least upsetting part of Shinji's life right now.]

Oh. I was going to ask if you... had any advice for my stay here.

Besides that?

[ He seems worried, so Haruka gives this some thought. ] Having a good crew's a start. Close quarters can get oppressive, so don't be afraid to go planetside when we dock places - but don't assume every planet's going to be peaceful.

And mostly. [ She pauses to let her anger at Atroma pass. ] Just because you're abducted doesn't mean you're powerless. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

[ Ratings be darned. She has an Aesthetic. ]

I'm actually okay with the close quarters. It's when I'm in a noisy crowd, or a big open space, that I can get... [Painfully anxious and paranoid to the point of hallucinating sometimes.] I might get nervous.

[...]

Does Atroma ever make people do things they don't want to do? Not just being on these ships, but like... [He trails off awkwardly.]

Edited 2016-03-26 03:02 (UTC)

[ That's a good question. In her experience, not so far. But she isn't ruling anything out.... ]

You'll be all right.

[ That is not an answer to his question. Bad habit acting up again. ]

[Shinji isn't a stranger to hearing vague answers, but that doesn't mean he much appreciates them. He's quiet for a little while, and then:]

Do you know anything about the audience?

I've never gotten a present.

[ An exhale, and a soft noise that might be a hand running through hair. ] Though I hear not to take their sense of humor personally.

Their... mm. [Tentatively, even more so than before:] Is there something weird about their sense of humor?

Hoping you'll have fans? [ She stifles a laugh. This kid is cute. ]

[?!]

No, that's just-- I meant-- I wouldn't-- [Shinji stutters a little more, then falls silent, introspective. When he does speak again, it's in a dismal tone of voice:] I've never been popular, so I wouldn't know what to do with fans.

[ That's not a very good attitude for a reality show. But Haruka can't say she likes the idea of them being broadcast either, so she supposes the "cast" isn't picked for how much they'd enjoy the experience. ] I wouldn't worry. They'd like you for you, anyway.

My ratings don't reflect that. But... [In the background, he's digging his fingers into a bag of glass marbles. The sound is unique.] I guess that's my own fault. Not interesting enough.

[ ...This kid is determined to think the worst of himself, huh. Haruka sniffs, but it isn't dismissive. ] So what would be your ideal balance?

[ If you don't want fans, but you also don't think yourself interesting enough for them... ]

[Haruka is starting to catch on: Shinji is a bundle of contradictions. And that's a very good question. It's with some hesitation that he says,]

Not being sent home. That's the ideal. I don't need to be someone's favorite, really.

Then live however you'd like. [ Since it's not like they have any way of controlling whether they go home or not.

For now. Haruka intends to change that, but she errs on the opposite side of what she'd like to happen... ]

I-- [...] But I thought this was a popularity contest. [Shinji says that like he's suddenly unsure of his own beliefs.]

Has the source of that assumption been trustworthy?

[ Haruka may be a cynic. ]

Well, it's... common sense, isn't it? [Still very unsure. He explains:] If a TV show has poor ratings, then it isn't going to be kept on the air. The people in charge want to make money.

Assuming we're on TV.

[ Haruka wouldn't want to watch this show, that's for sure. But whatever. She was trying to reassure the kid, not make him question his entire outlook on the place. She'll drop it. ]

Well, as long as you're satisfied with yourself, anything's fine.

Eh--? [This isn't the first time someone has challenged Shinji's worldview. He frowns at the communicator, his brow furrowing.] Well, I'm not satisfied with myself, is the thing...

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