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(no subject)

Who: natalie goodman
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: n/a
When: now!

you know what sucks about being brought here

[oh boy, here we go.]

like apart from being sol in space. the basic premise here is that this is reality tv right? which is never actually reality. so they specifically picked us based on entertainment value is my guess. can you imagine anyone normal and fine and competent being interesting to watch? nah, not as much as someone who's constantly a mess. isn't it weird to think about how everyone here was picked probably because they're dysfunctional enough for viewers to keep watching? adding insult to injury if you ask me.

anyways i'm kind of curious about what makes you strange enough to be here. fill me in if you've got a guess.

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Aside from telling us what to do with the gumballs, it's been several months. Has anyone told you about the so-called "recalibrations" they put us through?

yeah

those sounded like bullshit

Pretty much. I have never felt so much like I had no control over myself. It was like clockwork- wake up, watch the timer count down, go back to sleep, repeat. Some people reported having hyper-realistic dreams, but that never happened to me.

to be fair

we never really have control over ourselves here

True- but at least we have some degree of autonomy and they don't force us into a strict wake-sleep cycle. Even people who don't normally need to sleep fell asleep.

so basically they went to a level ten in shittiness where before they were at a nine

Yep, which I didn't think was possible.

to be fair they're not like

serial killer

so maybe they're still at nine

Yeah, they haven't tried to kill us yet. I'll give them that. The audience might well not like seeing us get hurt.

idk

apparently they're cool with us going into random and unprompted comas

True. And who knows what might happen if they get desperate enough?

yep

well this got dark

what's your name

How's the saying go... "well, that escalated quickly"? That's how life in the Drift Fleet can be.

I'm Jennifer- I'm medical officer on the Wonderduck.

man that's actually hard to imagine, it's been at a steady plateau since i got here

opal, i'm on the pathstone

I'm sure we'll get up to some sort of shenanigans soon. Atroma's gotta keep things interesting, after all.

Nice to meet you. I've never been to that ship before.

i will not at all look forward to those shenanigans but thanks for telling me

having been on exactly two spaceships, i can say with authority that it's the second best spaceship i've ever been on

Not much we can do about it but brace ourselves.

I like the Wonderduck, but it's nothing compared to where I lived back home.

where'd you live back home?

The lost city of Atlantis. See, where I come from, Atlantis wasn't lost, it's just in another galaxy. It's breathtaking.

wtf

so you traveled through space too?

Yes, sometimes. We also have devices called Stargates that allow for quick interplanetary travel.

so like

a spaceship

Sort of, except with Stargates it's instantaneous. It's like walking through a door, except you walk out the other side onto the surface of another planet.

so really really fast warp speed or teleportation?

Teleportation. I'm not 100% sure how they work, though- they were made by an alien race, and some of my predecessors MacGuyvered the means to use them.

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robitussin - 2016-05-15 00:49 (UTC) - Expand

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