it's not our fault it's an april mingle

[ladybro]

Who: S.S. Blameless
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Yes, for crew-mates and any visitors!
When: Month of April

[ aww mingle, no. ]

Comments

[passingthrough]

Yeah, probably a healthy way of handling it. I would think I'd be kind of obsessed with learning the truth and afraid of it too. Then again, maybe without the memories I'd be completely different and do none of those things.

...Were you very different?

[beathach]

Different? [he crosses his arms as he considers, before he shakes his head] Not . . . very, no. I mean, I was more - relaxed? But only because I didn't have the memories as to why I was more - uptight, I guess. Paranoid.

But I was terrified of my memories sometimes. Especially after I remembered this happening - [he gestures to himself] - without any of the context behind it. I knew I'd remember some . . . pretty bad things, and even knowing the end result, since Charles and Erik had told me some of it, I was still afraid of it.

Honestly, though . . . I'm more different now, having gone through all that.

[passingthrough]

I know I can pass for human and probably have no place to say this and should stop here, but... It's not a bad look. [It does remind her more of the Dark Beast than he did before so that isn't great, but that's her problem and not his.] I mean, you get to feel however you feel, but I think you'd be accepted here. I hope so. [After all Kurt is walking around with a similar look. Both of them.]

[beathach]

That's what I'm told. [he says it lightly; that's all he's ever heard, here and in Kyriakos, at least so far. It's still so strange to him] And I hope so, too.

[Hank gestures behind her, to the door that's still open] The old me would've locked that door and wouldn't have opened it for anyone but Charles. Maybe Erik, if we didn't start arguing first.

[passingthrough]

Locked doors mean very little to me, but I see your point. Is it getting old? Being told you're accepted for who you are?

[beathach]

[he shakes his head]

No, the reminders help. And I mean - logically, I know a lot of people won't even bat an eye. Or they'll say I look - cool or awesome or whatever.

[passingthrough]

But it's not the same unless you feel it too, right?

[beathach]

I feel it . . . in a sense. But that doesn't really make it any easier, either. It sounds stupid to say, but I'm just as terrified of acceptance as I am what I've come to expect. I don't really have a strong baseline for it, outside of a few people.

[passingthrough]

[Softly.] It doesn't sound stupid. [It sounds like...her. Not for what she looks like of course, but the whole package. Mutant, former teenage assassin, dead girl, all of it.

It's hard hearing him say things she relates to or finds interesting like he just keeps doing! She doesn't want to hate him or fear for what he's going to do to people if she turns her back when every indication is telling her he won't do anything wrong. But she also doesn't want to like the guy! That's just...no.]

[beathach]

[he glances over at her, a little surprised by the softer tone. But he nods after a moment]

Mm . . . I suppose it doesn't.

[passingthrough]

I should see if I can find Logan. [Not that she actually gets up to go.]

[beathach]

Ah - right. Let me know when you find him?

[passingthrough]

Sure. I can do that. [She even means it. Kitty slides off the counter and looks at him.] This was...um, good running into you? [Sorry, she's gone to awkward land—population: her.]

[beathach]

[that's okay, he'll immediately join her in awkwardland]

Yeah - it was a nice a conversation. Uh - come by again if you want? [completely with awkward invitation]

[passingthrough]

[It is a population: them!]

Sure. I'm...on the Iskaulit a lot. [Not that it would be hard for him to find her ship on the crew manifest, but this feels better for right now. She heads to the door and nods at him.]

See you around. [Then she phases herself out.]

[beathach]

[he nods, and gives a little wave as she heads for the door]

Mmm. See you around, Kitty.