004 ↯ audio

[feathery]

Who: Davesprite and whoever.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Indoors, moonside.
When: Now sounds good.

[Someone is done to death with masks and getting accosted by randos on the street. Thus, Davesprite has taken refuge indoors, since that's as good as it gets short of returning to the ships. He'd normally opt for text, but he honestly just wants to talk for a while. Even if his voice is equal parts bored and sullen.]

Sportball ambushes on the street are great and all, [it probably isn't possible for him to sound more sarcastic] but I got to ponder the selection happening in this contaminated stain on the face of space. Like, sure, there are "strategy games" [yes, those are actual, audible air quotes], but where my real battles at. You know, the wordplay variety, where you drop a witticism to a sick beat and slant it to rhyme. Twist that shit into ill verse and cause some deadly delirium not even the most decorated doctor could cure. Dude could be veteran to World War Disease and still find himself stymied by this nasty flow that makes even the gutsiest guerilla fold. Ain't a medic around who can mend my rap battle burns.

[A beat.]

So, yeah, maybe I'm only pissed about moon pollution central 'cause all these hostile idiots keep hailing me out of the blue and yet: not a single fuckin' rap battle. [This is definitely not the only reason he's pissed about moon pollution central, but priorities.] What's a guy got to do, besides deck himself out in a shitty respirator and biohazard costume. A live performance? God, this is stupid.

Comments

[feathery]

This is the most tragic discovery I've made since setting foot on moon hell yet. The omission of sick beats on the curriculum is cruel to both doctors and the poor saps you gotta treat.

But I'll try to tone them down to just like. Severely debilitating, I guess.

[forsometimenow]

I'd appreciate that. In the meantime, I'll try to correct this most grievous omission in my education. And here I thought I'd learned everything- they were holding out on me!

[feathery]

Yeah, seriously. I'm offended on your behalf. Like what kind of space education do they give futuristic doctors if they overlooked such an important aspect. Culturally, if not medically, because I guarantee that's an oversight that would lead to like. The rapocalypse where I'm from, and no one wants that.

[This is very serious business.]

[forsometimenow]

And the thing is, I DID learn about all kinds of weird stuff. Diseases that don't exist on Earth, cosmic entities that give people superpowers, nanomachines... but I never music could be used for such purposes.

[feathery]

Why do there always got to be cosmic entities that give people superpowers.

[It's faintly petulant, despite himself.]

But hey, at long last, this hella neglected facet of these rhythmically-inspired epidemics are getting due recognition. Awareness is the first step.

[forsometimenow]

Because my life back home was pretty much a science fiction TV show, let's be real.

[She grinned.]

Got any pearls of wisdom to share on the subject?

[feathery]

Fair. I was literally in a video game before this, so I can't say shit.

[But there's a pause as he thinks that one over.]

Ok, the most important thing to remember is if you're gonna fend off these burns, you gotta know how to drop a couple of your own sick fires in the first place.

[forsometimenow]

Now, see, that's where I'd probably run into problems- I'm not musically inclined at all. So my burns might be more like mild discomfort. A musical rash.

[feathery]

But could you pull off a chronic musical rash. I dunno, I think it sounds promising. Annoying, at least, and that's more than I can say for some people's rhymes.

[He could name names (ISAAC), but he won't.]

[forsometimenow]

[Jennifer laughed.]

Or I'll try to come up with such a painful pun that the opponent doesn't have a chance to recover.

[feathery]

See, you got the idea already. Do you wanna try to put it into practice.

[Sorry, Jennifer, he just really wants to hear someone rap besides himself.]

[forsometimenow]

I'll need to think about it first. I would want it to be pun-gent enough.

[feathery]

[That gets a soft snort of laughter from him.]

Alright, but you gotta remember to get a rhythm going. Keepin' it appropriately punishing and all that, you know.

[forsometimenow]

Hmmm... I'm already fresh out. I'll start keeping a list I can whip out in case the occasion warrants.

[feathery]

Hell yeah. The thing you find out once you start drafting up your wordplay is that the occasion practically always warrants. The occasion wants that shit signed and notarized by the presiding judge before you step onto the premises.

[forsometimenow]

[And that made Jennifer laugh.]

Funny, I never thought there would be so many opportunities to drop some sick beats. Where has the idea been all my life?

[feathery]

Space has been holding out on everyone. It's plain fucking rude, if you ask me. Possibly ruder than getting punched in the face because some dude wants to throw down and that's considered a viable invitation here.

[forsometimenow]

Yeah, I've been trying to steer clear of people as much as I can for that reason. Rap battles would be fine and all, but not if I have to stop and have one every 10 minutes on my way to the apothecary.

[feathery]

Did you get sneak attacked at all.

[Because if so, how? fucking??? rude?????? Pollution planet needs to step off the doc.]

[forsometimenow]

Not yet, but it's only a matter of time, given that these gas masks only let you see and hear so much. I've voluntarily participated in a few games of skill, though.

[feathery]

Those aren't so bad. Still not really my speed, but it's better than getting punched in the face.

You kick their asses?

[forsometimenow]

When it comes to chess, I make a pretty good showing. Anything physical, though... I'm out of my league.

[feathery]

Man, yeah. People keep wanting to play sports and I'm like. Dude. I don't know sports. I will just foul the whole team and also myself.

And now it sounds like I'm talking about shitting myself. Whoops.

[forsometimenow]

[Jennifer snickered.]

I get what you mean, though. In school, I was never athletic and I was painfully shy on top of that. I was the girl who preferred books to other kids' company.

[feathery]

Hey, sounds cool to me. I'd take the books too, shhh, don't tell anyone. My bro never rated sports too highly as a need to know topic—which is how he felt about most things that weren't ironic to be honest, but sports were like extra low priority. We're talking lower than the unwanted renewal of a shitty tv show, but it got picked up anyway and you're trapped watching it in the dead hours of the night when nothing else is on.