004 ↯ audio

[feathery]

Who: Davesprite and whoever.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Indoors, moonside.
When: Now sounds good.

[Someone is done to death with masks and getting accosted by randos on the street. Thus, Davesprite has taken refuge indoors, since that's as good as it gets short of returning to the ships. He'd normally opt for text, but he honestly just wants to talk for a while. Even if his voice is equal parts bored and sullen.]

Sportball ambushes on the street are great and all, [it probably isn't possible for him to sound more sarcastic] but I got to ponder the selection happening in this contaminated stain on the face of space. Like, sure, there are "strategy games" [yes, those are actual, audible air quotes], but where my real battles at. You know, the wordplay variety, where you drop a witticism to a sick beat and slant it to rhyme. Twist that shit into ill verse and cause some deadly delirium not even the most decorated doctor could cure. Dude could be veteran to World War Disease and still find himself stymied by this nasty flow that makes even the gutsiest guerilla fold. Ain't a medic around who can mend my rap battle burns.

[A beat.]

So, yeah, maybe I'm only pissed about moon pollution central 'cause all these hostile idiots keep hailing me out of the blue and yet: not a single fuckin' rap battle. [This is definitely not the only reason he's pissed about moon pollution central, but priorities.] What's a guy got to do, besides deck himself out in a shitty respirator and biohazard costume. A live performance? God, this is stupid.

Comments

[voice]

[delincuente]

Hey, man - sometimes you just have to start your own battles. Go right up and accost them back with your wicked rhymes. They won't know what hit 'em.

[feathery]

Ok, then I guess I better do the responsible thing and start by challenging you. C'mon, Alex, throw down a phat beat for me.

[delincuente]

Sorry, I'm allergic to rhyming today.

audio;

[frigidaire]

You're actually mad because aliens haven't dropped sick beats for you? Do a street performance. We can sell tickets.

[ No, do not rap Davesprite, your woof friend might not know what to do with you if that happens. ]

You could rap about pollution.

[feathery]

Do I look like Captain Planet.

[feathery]

Only today? Does that mean I can ask later, or should I settle for hassling you about it now.

[forsometimenow]

Gosh, I hope you DON'T get into deadly rap battles. They never covered sick beats in med school.

[feathery]

This is the most tragic discovery I've made since setting foot on moon hell yet. The omission of sick beats on the curriculum is cruel to both doctors and the poor saps you gotta treat.

But I'll try to tone them down to just like. Severely debilitating, I guess.

[frigidaire]

You're a captain. [ he's being totally genuine, okay. ] You should be able to rap about anything.

[feathery]

Just because I can rap about anything doesn't mean I should. I've got to use my powers for something less sinister than pretending to be the overblown clusterfuck that ensues when Earth's four elements and heart decide to get jiggy with it.

[frigidaire]

Okay, you lost me. [ a pause. ] So do you have superpowers or not?

[feathery]

Are you being serious right now. Like for real, dude.

[Look at him, he's part birdghost freak.]

[frigidaire]

Yeah. I mean, you could just be some weird bird okay. You did that weird running thing. I don't know. I try not to make assumptions. Mostly.

[feathery]

[DEEP SIGH.]

Yes, Isaac. Yes, I have superpowers.

[His voice is so flat.]

[frigidaire]

[ Oh if only he could see Isaac's face. Maybe the incredulity is in his voice, too, since I forgot this is an audio thread. ]

Right. I don't believe you.

[feathery]

Oh my god. Why did you even ask in the first place.

[He'd roll his eyes so intensely if they were having this conversation in person.]

[forsometimenow]

I'd appreciate that. In the meantime, I'll try to correct this most grievous omission in my education. And here I thought I'd learned everything- they were holding out on me!

[frigidaire]

I mean you said you have powers. Like, rap powers, I guess, but I've heard your raps and some of them are pretty weird. But if you have some weird other powers besides the fast running thing, then you better fess up.

[ He's partly egging Davesprite on, the other part curious. ]

[feathery]

Wasting my time to list all the assorted powers you probably won't even believe I have is a dumb idea. But yeah, sure, why not. My ornery rhymes are the most potent ones I got yet.

[feathery]

Yeah, seriously. I'm offended on your behalf. Like what kind of space education do they give futuristic doctors if they overlooked such an important aspect. Culturally, if not medically, because I guarantee that's an oversight that would lead to like. The rapocalypse where I'm from, and no one wants that.

[This is very serious business.]

[frigidaire]

Your rhymes are definitely something. I don't know if potent is the right word though.

[feathery]

Don't be hatin'. You won't even rap with me; it's fucking barbaric.

[frigidaire]

[ this guy is so embarrassing. ]

I don't know you. Who are you? Sorry, got the wrong guy.

[feathery]

You could remedy this whole situation by rapping with me, you filthy philistine. You don't even have to make it up, I got a book you can use for reference.

[frigidaire]

What did you call me? A filthy what? I'm not rapping. Book or not.