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Who: Leto + You
Broadcast: Video
Action: N/A
When:

[ The video flickers on to Leto sitting on his bed, kicking his legs briefly. He grins when the video starts recording, pushing himself onto his feet. He tilts his head, that odd bird-like movement he often exhibits. ]

I have heard some interesting things of late, so I thought I'd put the question to you all. When you fall in love, can you only love one person? Can you fall in love with multiple people? Is love something you find yourself stopping after just one?

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[He's too greedy to make this choice. He cannot let go of Rogue, and he cannot let go of this. Will not. He wants too much to be wanted to be cared for. He's still rather bad at the other end of it, the caring for people in return, though whatever he can manage is entirely Rogue's doing.

He could resent her, in this moment, for her need for monogamy. And he certainly resents himself for assuming it wouldn't be a problem. And there's a bit of resentment for Leto as well, for making him feel this way, Though how was he to know? And how is he to find the line he can twist to his suiting in this. It is inevitable that he will destroy what he cares about, but he really is trying to not. He's supposed to find ways to destroy the inevitable.

He closes his eyes.]

I am a fool.

[He keeps a firm hold of Leto's hand. The problem is that it's already too late. There's an emotional connection with the other god, and that might be a betrayal of Rogue already. He cannot control his heart, though he can certainly control his body and at least remain faithful in that sense.

A part of him points out that these stupidities would not be a problem if he just didn't mess about with this love business. He is very, very bad at it.]

[ Oh, Loki. Leto reaches to run his hands through Loki's hair before shifting closer and sitting next to him. Their hands remain twined, as if the illusion will shatter from the separation. ]

Then give me up. I will not resent you.

[ Though he senses that it is not a choice Loki would make. ]

[Loki does not open his eyes, but he doesn't need to; he sees Leto in other ways. He reaches to slide a hand over the man's short hair, to pull him closer.]

I do not give up anything that is mine. You know this.

[Not until it is so utterly broken as to be unrecognizable. He's too greedy for that. And maybe that's why he will destroy what he loves, because he's not capable of the self-sacrifice necessary to the act. He can give to a certain extent, and does, but he cannot let go.]

[ He sighs softly at the contact. The Wormskin hums. ]

Then I shall wait until you destroy me.

[His response is to curl his arms around Leto, as if that will somehow protect the man from himself. ]

Damn you.

[There's no bite to the words. It's for show.]

It is easier to have no heart.

[ He lays his head against Loki's shoulder. ]

But emptier, I think.

There are some things in this universe there are no explanations for. No answers.

[He rests his cheek against Leto's head. There's something intimate in this sort of contact, at least to him. Far more than much more base acts. Does this constitute a betrayal, then? There isn't anything so lusty about this contact, but there's a depth of feeling. Has he compromised his promise? What of his heart?

Yet he cannot wish this away, either. This does not occupy the same space in his mind or emotions as what he has with Rogue. This is different, distinct, and important in its own way.]

The universe does not care for us, nor offer us any answers at all, yes?

I died in a black hole. I died on a beach of black sand. I died on a dead realm. Each time, I've been a little less empty, I think.

We carry our crucibles with us. When we pass through them, we always come out . . . changed. And yet nothing changes.

[ Leto's dream was never going to be his. It was going to go to humanity, so that they could survive and live the life he never could. What he had wanted, what Ghani had wanted . . . it'll never be theirs.

There are problems in this universe in which there are no answers, his father had said to his mother as she lay dying, for which nothing can be done.

So he takes Loki's palm, kissing the insides of it. Perhaps, now, he can understand his parents a little better. ]

You come together in each passing moment, a surer picture than the last. And you will be held in full light.

I care for you. The universe will answer to me on that.

[Loki curls his fingers around those kisses, to capture it. He leans down to place a feather light kiss on Leto's eyelid.]

Shh. Curse not thyself.

[But he hungers for that caring. The fingernails of one hand scratch lightly over Leto's heart.]

And know I see the universe inside thee.

[ His eyelids flutter at the touch. It was a sensitive touch, an unfamiliar one. ]

Then be my God.

[He exhales unsteadily at those words and captures Leto's lips. Some part of him has a notion to stop Leto before he says something that will damn them both further, but more it is the only way he has to express the acceptance, and hunger for that statement.

Yes.]

[ He kisses back feverishly. Leto has always tempered his passions. They were too dangerous to indulge, too risky to ever allow. But this - this doom that is laid upon them suits their lives. They know, they will always know how terrible and beautiful it can be.

And they can only succumb. ]

[A kiss does not cross that bright line. (Emotions do, but he was lost in that sense some days ago, if he examines this carefully.) It is but a kiss, and he will take that kiss for all he can, the passion that he tries to hide so carefully at times. One hand curls into Leto's hair.]

[ He shudders in forbidden delight, in being touched, in being wanted and noticed, feelings that always caught him offguard. He can pretend that his body isn't failing him, that he's not slowly degrading into a monster. ]

[There is no mistaking the want of it. Loki wants Leto desperately; he hasn't encountered someone quite like him before. He would possess Leto totally... if he could.

For a moment, he lets himself believe that he will and kisses him with all that want. It's another offer, as keen as the magic before, an admission.]

[ It's like drowning. Leto has never experienced the sensation of drowning. It is an unheard concept in the desert. He used to have dreams of it, when darkness crept into his mind and plagued him with his fears.

This was nothing like that. ]

[He finally stops lingering--stops tormenting himself, really--and draws back enough to rest his head against Leto's.

There's a slight tremor to him: fear, excitement, no small amount of lust. It is a terrible thing, to offer someone else such power. Leto could destroy him with a word.]

[ But he wouldn't. He couldn't. It's not in him to destroy. Instead he simply smiles, threading his fingers in Loki's hair. ]

[He lightly traces that smile with one thumb. It's something of a wonder, when he's caused that expression with a spate of honesty. It bring an answering smile to his lips.]

Doubt not ever again, thou art beautiful.

[ But he doubts that, would always doubt that. It's easy to say now. ]

I'm still in my nascent stage.

Silly boy.

I see the universe inside thee. It is that which I love.

[ He touches the skin next to his neck, listens to it breathe. ]

Physical attraction is always a factor.

[ But his eyes soften at Loki's words. He is not used to being told of his beauty. ]

[Amused:] You do have pretty eyes.

Leto, I grew up among the Aesir. I'm a bit jaded about beauty.

Edited 2016-05-01 02:40 (UTC)

[ He huffs lightly. ]

That is fair.

[He combs his fingers through Leto's hair, a bit meditatively.]

I haven't come to associate great physical beauty with the ability to string words together in an interesting conversation, either.

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