3rd Blight - video and open log

[bryces_pup]

Who: Riona (who is not at ALL drunk, no sir) and you
Broadcast: yes
Action: In Varric’s bar
When: Forward dated to the night of May 1st

Video

[The camera wobbles as it turns on. There’s a moment of it spinning around before it’s set down with a hard “clunk!” There’s a snort before a shadow looms over the camera. It faces an empty chair at a table in what some may recognize as Varric’s bar. But the seat is shortly filled by Riona, who leans on her elbows and smiles lopsidedly at the camera.

Yep, someone’s drunk and has made the poor decision to make a public broadcast.]

I think I’ve reached the point where bad decisions start looking like good ones. Or maybe it’s more that I’m past the point of caring, though I’m sure I’ll be thoroughly kicking myself in the morning as I fight off the egregious hangover I’m sure to have.

[Consider that your only warning, Blue Fish.]

What a lovely party that was the other night. The sort of event that’s supposed to let you forget about your troubles and be merry for awhile. And maybe, just maybe, let you believe for a little while that you’re not a terrible person.

[Her smiles turns a shade derisive as she takes a drink from whatever concoction she has in that tankard.]

Or is that just me? It probably is. Which I suppose leads to the point of this little broadcast. [She throws her arms out, almost knocking her drink over in the process.] Surprise! I’m a shitty person. Selfish and terrible. Oh sure, I start out with good intentions, I mean well, but ultimately I end up making shitty decisions because of them. I push and I shove and then people get hurt and I tell myself I did it because it was for the best. I “make up for it” and try to ease things and I say that over and over again in my head when I go to sleep.

[She snorts, leaning on her arms on the table again as she looks away.]

Keep that in mind next time you deal with me. You’ll all be better off.

Should any of you still feel inclined to talk to me, I’ll be here in Varric’s fine establishment, trying to drown my problems for likely the rest of the night. Feel free to come in and have a drink on my selfish ass. I probably owe all of you at least one, if not more.

[Before she picks up her drink, she mutters:] Oh Oghren, you’d be so proud. [And as she takes another long gulp, she shuts off the camera.]


Action

[The Queen of the Self-Loathing Party can be found, as said, at Varric’s bar. She’s got her own table and she’s already knocked back Maker-knows how many drinks. Oddly enough, her sword is in tow, though it’s currently propped up against the table leg. Perhaps at some point, she meant to spar and beat out her feelings. Clearly, either that didn’t work or she didn’t bother and wound up here instead.

She’s definitely pretty damn drunk. If the broadcast didn’t make that clear, then the way she at points will burst out laughing for no reason might hint at it. Or maybe how she’s half slumped over the table, trying to play games on her communicator and cursing loudly as she fails at it (which is pretty much the case for every attempt).

If she sees someone she recognizes, she’ll raise her glass and sloppily beckon them to come over.]
Come, have a drink! It’s no fun doing it alone!

Comments

private video »

[steeledskin]

[ idiocy. sansa doesn't speak the word herself, but she dances deftly around it. she implies it, in the empty spaces between breath and speech. ]

Better it be confined within our walls than trumpeted to the entire fleet, I think. [ and then her resolve fails her, and strong words turn weak: ] I mean no offense, my lady.

private video »

[bryces_pup]

Offend me all you will, Sansa. I deserve every ounce of it. [She waves her drink in the direction of the camera.] Though if you truly want to, you'll have to do better than that. You're saying what's probably the truth. It's good you're speaking your mind.

[She snorts and takes a drink.] Tonight's theme, it seems.

private video »

[steeledskin]

My lady, I rather doubt you do.

[ deserve it. sansa has met monsters, and none of them would so broadly criticize themselves in public. ]

private video »

[bryces_pup]

Because you are sweet. And you haven't seen me at my worst yet. Maker willing, you won't, but now at least you'll have fair warning.

private video »

[steeledskin]

My lady, with deepest respect, I am not sweet. [ she isn't fishing for sympathy. it's riona who needs such shoring up right now, and not her. but perhaps she can make the woman understand that sweetness is not innate. it is an act -- and one she'd best resume as soon as possible before word gets 'round. ]

And I have seen monsters and tyrants at their worst. [ from where does this strength come? this steel in her voice, that brooks no gentle submission? ] You are as lovely as the Maiden herself when compared to them.

[bryces_pup]

[Admittedly, the words from Sansa are an enormous surprise. It's the most... stern and resolute she's ever heard her be. Even this drunk, she's silent for a minute, appreciating this moment of strength from Sansa. Granted, it'd be nice if it came under better circumstances, but that is entirely her fault.]

Maybe not then, but you've got spine. [There's a smile; a genuine one this time.] Perhaps I am not a tyrant or an absolute monster - Maker strike me down if I ever am - but it does not make me a good person. Just not as terrible as I could be.

[steeledskin]

So few of us are. [ good people. ] Goodness and honour are too often destined for the chopping block.

[ perhaps if she's lucky, lady riona will not remember this in the morning. ]

[bryces_pup]

[There's a very good chance she won't. Or at least not all of it. Though of course, it's all here on the network for posterity.]

Or ruined by what's most foul and base in people. People are good at destroying things, even that which they love.

[There's a hint of guilt and bitterness there, perhaps the first true indication of what's really going on with her.]

Case in point. [She gestures to herself.]

[steeledskin]

What did you destroy, my lady?

[ bolder and bolder and bolder still. but it's baelish who taught her the game and baelish who taught her to take advantage of weakness -- even in those for whom she feels affection. here is an emotion which moves riona, and there is no better time to probe its depths than right now.

the pragmatist -- forged in bruises and rebukes -- can't help her question. ]

[bryces_pup]

[Drunk as she is, Riona still hesitates. Her secrets have been kept guarded, and carefully. It's ingrained into her by now. She clutches her head a moment as she begins to feel woozy.]

That's a bit of a list, Sansa. [She gives her head a shake to clear it. Or attempt to, anyway.]

[steeledskin]

Then -- which items upon your list are leading you to drink tonight? [ it cannot be all of them, can it? ]

[bryces_pup]

[Don't underestimate her ability to beat herself up for shit that happened in the past. It's all coming to a head tonight.]

Well, if I'm going to mourn one item, might as well mourn them all. They all equally deserve it, no?

But since you're so curious, let's start in chronological order. [There's an edge of madness in her laughter as she considers.] Oh yes! When I left my parents for dead while our home was attacked by Arl Howe! That was definitely the first major one.

[steeledskin]

[ her mouth twitches. does she not blame herself for her own father's death?

(yes, she does.)

but this conversation is not about her. sansa forces herself to set aside those raw, reflexive feelings. it is riona who needs a stern reminding of decorum. ]

You make it sound intentional, my lady. Was it intentional?

[ she plays the idiotic child for a reason. she rather doubts riona left her parents to die on purpose. ]

[bryces_pup]

Yes. I knew they were going to die. I should have stayed and defended them. But they pleaded and my rescuer would not wait. So I left. And Howe killed them.

[She understands now why her mother refused to come. Her father had been too wounded to move. But she should have stayed and fought. Her shield could have protected them.]

[steeledskin]

If they pleaded that you should leave, Lady Riona, then you were only being a dutiful daughter.

[bryces_pup]

A dutiful daughter would have protected them. It was bad enough I was too late to get to Oriana and Oren, but to have to leave my own parents...

[steeledskin]

You did not kill them. I swear it -- if you speak the truth, and I confess I think you speak the harshest version of it...then, no. You are no murderer.

[ because if riona is a killer for such a passive decision, then what does that make sansa? the instrument of her lord father's execution, for one. and king-killer for another. then lysa, by omission. marillion by a lie. ]

[bryces_pup]

[If Riona were sober, she would consider more the ramifications of what she's saying. Sadly her alcohol-addled mind is too wrapped up in her own misery to be aware of such.]

But I did nothing to stop it! My father was teyrn, and my mother teyrna. I had a duty to protect them. I had the means to, but I ran! What does that make me, then?

[steeledskin]

Craven, mayhaps. And cowardly. [ and so am i. ] But not murderous.

[bryces_pup]

[There's a bitter, harsh laugh at that. Well, at least Sansa is honest. She'll give her that.]

Oh, definitely. So perhaps not a murderer then. But still an asshole.

[steeledskin]

And the latter is still finer than the former, my lady.

[bryces_pup]

[There's no arguing with that, even this drunk.]

I'm glad someone agrees with me, at any rate. But I have bored you enough now, no?

[steeledskin]

There are times, Lady Riona, when boredom is to be relished. [ ... ] But if you wish to end our conversation, I would not be offended. I promise.

[bryces_pup]

Is it? ...ah, yes, it can be. [She pauses, considering. Well, as much consideration as she can give anything right now.] Do you really want to listen to an idiot's drunken rambling? You already had to hear about my family, which I'll certainly kick myself for in the morning.

[steeledskin]

My lady, yes, you would do better to ramble to me in private than to the entire fleet on an unsecured line.

[ translation: she will be your confessor, if you like. she keeps secrets well. ]