Video

[killedwithlove]

Who: Cole
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Pathstone unless asked to go somewhere
When: Now-ish?


[The broadcast is very unusual, coming from Cole. He replies, sometimes, but he very rarely initiates communication through the network.

The camera points at the ceiling, catching just the edge of Cole's hat. He has it in his lap but doesn't try to look into it.]

I need someone who is able to kill me if I turn into a demon. Cassandra promised to, but she's gone and Jove and Solas said they would, but with them gone, I need someone to make sure I'm not a danger to people.

Comments

[killedwithlove]

... because it didn't work?

Hello, Nightingale. I might not be the Cole from your world. I'm probably not. My Inquisitor was Nadezhda Cadash.

[He actually pokes his face into view. Still Cole. Still pale, emaciated, he looks a bit rough around the edges even for Cole, but that's probably just coping with everyone leaving. Or not coping.]

[nugqueen]

Another Inquisitor I don't know... interesting.

[Yeah, no. Definitely not the same Cole.]

Are you sure you pose that high of a risk?

[Because he knows she'd definitely strike him down without question if that was a possibility. She didn't want to. Cole might be an odd duck but he was a kind boy.]

[killedwithlove]

[He rocks back and forth, moving in and out of view.]

Um, well, I don't know, but Cassandra promised to stop me, but then she left. And Jove and Solas said they'd make sure I never hurt anyone, but they're gone too. And Anders would've known, but he's gone.

I don't want to die. But I don't want to become Despair and hurt people. So I need contingencies! Like The Iron Bull has.

[nugqueen]

I understand that. If I must be the one to wield the blade, then so be it. You have my word.

[But damned if she didn't hate the idea. The poor kid wanted to live. He didn't want to become a demon but there was no telling whether or not that would happen.]

For now, try not to worry about it. You have many gifts but I can't imagine telling the future is one of them, no?

[killedwithlove]

[That... is more reassuring. Faith is a shield that Leliana wields effectively.]

The Chant of Adralla, it can make me be visible. Lambert had it.

[He hums and vanishes from view again, the camera moving to show a different patch of ceiling.]

No. Yes. I don't know. I just know things. I don't know the future, but I know intent.

[nugqueen]

I see. That could come to use, should we need it.

[Which hopefully will not be the case.

Hopefully, someone in the fleet had it handy....?]

Is that why you are troubled? You feel your own intent changing?

[Well that's... something.]

[killedwithlove]

[He didn't like the Chant, it hurt, but that would be a small price for being stopped.]

No. Not because of that. Because everyone who knew how to stop me is gone. Solas and Jove left, together, well, at the same time, maybe not together. With Elly. Just a few days ago. So it's important. That someone know, be aware, be ready.

[nugqueen]

There is a Templar here - Alistair can help you if it needs to come to that. But it shouldn't come to that.

[Though what else can there be to offer? She wants to help him and surely he knows that. The best she can offer is a safe space for him but even that isn't a guarantee. He has his own crew in the fleet that he resides with but what good is that if he's a danger to them? So many questions and each lacking an answer.]

You'll contact one of us should something happen to change the situation?

[killedwithlove]

Alistair, precious child, never know, it's best if you never know.

[Ah. that's why he seemed familiar and unfamiliar. He nods and hums, satisfied he's worked it out.]

Maybe.

[At least he's honest?]

[nugqueen]

Cole.

[Better change that 'Maybe' to a 'Yes' at some point in the future, young man.]

This isn't Thedas and with Solas no longer here to keep you, this needs to be handled responsibly. Do whatever you can to see that what needs to be done is done.

[Unfortunately she can't help that she's Hardened!Leliana so her first idea is if he needs to die then well that's just too bad :(]

[killedwithlove]

If I can contact someone, I will.

[nugqueen]

Good. That is all anyone can expect of you.

[She relaxes a bit, resting her chin in one hand.]

It is not an easy thing, no? No one else can even begin to imagine what you experience. People only understand that when there is something they don't understand, they should fear it.

[Like mages, like spirits like Cole. Thrust them into a trying situation and they become desperate, like a bird with a broken wing.]

[killedwithlove]

I experience lots of things. Some of them, I actually physically go through.

Cadash, my Inquisitor, she said she worried about me. Walking into other people's darkness. But if I don't go in, I can't help them. I just want to help people. Even when I was doing the wrong thing, I thought I was helping.

... do you remember, Leliana? You protected Rhys. He always needed protecting. He wasn't very good at looking after himself.

[nugqueen]

There are some times when a person must do things that they don't quite understand themselves, for the good of others.

[She gets it. He wants to help even if it does damage to himself. They are the same in that.]

I do remember, yes. You two were friends.

[And he was a good boy, honestly. Wynne, despite her stiff demeanor at times, would have been proud of him.]

[killedwithlove]

Faith found Evangeline. Wynne carried Faith, but she had Faith that there was a reason, a reason she still lived, still had that Faith. Faith found Evangeline.

[He plucks at his hand wrappings.]

[nugqueen]

Cole. Will you be alright?

[She didn't know how to help him and damned if that wasn't frustrating on its own.</small.] What do you do when you are like this? It's happened before, hasn't it?

[killedwithlove]

When I'm like what? When I'm not Compassion?

I didn't know, back then. But Rhys... made it better. Less desperate. Warmer.

[He misses him. He still misses him. He misses that simple, warm care and being able to curl up in Rhys' cloak and be comfortably tucked against him. He misses someone who seemed to understand him, without the explicit threat of mind wiping.]

I just need to have... um, contingencies. In case it happens.

[nugqueen]

I was referring to your emotional state of being, not specifically your state as Compassion. You aren't well, that much is obvious.

[Poor kid. She understood that feeling too well. Justinia had been like that for her, in a sense. Her and Riona both had given her purpose.]

Understandable but I don't want to see you jump to the worst conclusion so soon. There has to be a way to help that doesn't involve killing you.

[killedwithlove]

I don't get sick. Or eat. Or sleep. I nearly drowned once, but Cullen pulled me out of the water and hit my back until I coughed up the water.

[nugqueen]

[Cole... sometimes the things you say make zero sense to the conversation. For you, she is going to try.]

Did you? Lucky he was there then.

[killedwithlove]

[Cole frequently doesn't make sense, but there's a logic in his conversation to him.]

Yes. The branch didn't hold me. The water was cold, but it burned in my nose and throat.