driftfleet | May Mingle (Caprine)

[ Why does every conversation always come back to Erik? Raven purses her lips, crossing her arms and trying not to appear small even as she holds her head up high, tilting herself forward a little. It's frustrating, that everyone else seems to have this higher opinion of Erik when she's trapped here half loathing him and half missing the close, intense friendship they shared, missing the man that shaped her into someone stronger than she had ever been. Her jaw is a little tighter, but she does her best to shrug it off. ]

I'm sure everyone I know from my world is different from the ones you knew in yours. Hank, Charles and Erik. [ It's difficult, though, and she can appreciate Kitty's struggle; Charles and Erik aren't the men she remembers either and even Hank had changed a little, lost in the world that they had been in long before this one. She still feels out of place and alone, but she's working on it - it's all she can do.

It's easier to move on, though, shaking her head. ] No, I haven't. I've only seen the people I know, no one else.

[She sees the way Raven pushes herself up and she mentally reviews what she'd said, wondering if she'd been unintentionally aggressive. She guesses it's something else. Erik maybe. Definitely seems like those two have history of some kind. It's not like just anyone would call him an idiot.]

They are. You are too. [How many familiar faces has she seen who didn't recognize her for who she really is now? Too many and yet not enough to really adjust to it. The X-Men had been the only family she had left and now they're just a tilted reflection of what was once people she knew and loved. Everyone except Kurt. Her Kurt. He may have two mothers here now, but she's his family. Not the woman who chose to abandon him and torture Rogue. And she is still undecided on this woman. She feels young, and maybe she's never had a child, but it's Mystique and who knows with her when it comes to age. She doesn't think Kurt even knows how old she really is.]

It's weird meeting a version of yourself. Not that you really need me to tell you that. Probably something you'd assume. But take whatever you'd expect and double it. There was another Kitty at the place before this one. It's your first time though, isn't it? In a multidimensional prison like this? [Her last one had literally been a prison or at least called itself that, but they were no more free here.]

[ Raven's relationship with Erik was an intense thing; he had been the person that inspired her to be stronger, to break free of what she felt were chains in Charles' hands, to branch out and find herself. She knows that the way she had handled it was a mistake and dangerous for both her and her brother, but she also understands that she needed to do it. They're coming to terms with the changes now, though, and that's okay. It's something they needed to do. ]

I didn't come from a world where Charles was dead - I would be different if my brother was dead. [ It comes out as a bit of a snap, but she doesn't mean it to - and she doesn't think about what she's revealed. To her it's obvious that she and Charles were once a family, but she doesn't consider that it isn't the same in the other worlds; she doesn't want to imagine what it might mean to Charles to be in a world where he was that alone for so long.

Slowly, almost carefully, she nods her head. ] It's my first time. I don't know what to expect, but I've heard some things. At least I can try to be prepared. [ She can try and wrap her mind around it all before she stumbles into one of the Kurts or her other self; she can hide away with her family until she can figure things out in her own mind. That's what she has, and no one can take that from her. ]

[Kitty's eyes widen. Did she just hear what she thinks she just heard?] Charles is your...what now? [She doesn't even want to picture how weird and intertwined that makes the family tree like the part where Raven's unofficially adopted daughter, Rogue, is married to Erik.

There's more she should explain and say about the other places and she can certainly understand how the changes that happen there can affect things with people you think you know. She had that experience with both Charles and Allen in different, complicated ways. But right now she can't get her mind off of the brother thing because what?]

[ Raven blinks and she frowns, her mouth opening before it snaps shut. That confirms it more than anything else; obviously, in all these other worlds, she and Charles aren't related. She and Charles aren't a family, and it makes her heart ache - she had hurt him, true, and she had abandoned him, but it didn't stop them being a family, it didn't stop them being important to each other. The very idea of them not being something in another world makes something uncomfortable twist inside of her, and she frowns, her expression tightening. ]

He's my brother. [ She doesn't clarify that it's through a strange adoption, that Charles had taken her in and they had grown up together in an empty house with no real parental guidance, that she and Charles had moved around the world together, from New York to Oxford and back again - because she doesn't need to. The ties of family don't end at blood, and she knew that. ]

And I'm his sister. I'm not an Xavier, though.

Sorry. I didn't know. [There's maybe some extra apology wrapped up in that word too that she'd mentioned the man's death at all or that she was making it clear that at least as far as she knows the same connection never existed in her home. She could spend a lifetime apologizing for the sins of her world.

She won't though. She will accept that they are siblings without prying further into the how and why of it. She assumes it's in the same sort of way Rogue is her daughter. She's the last person to question how families form. She's been trying to rebuild one for herself ever since her parents were murdered.

She also wonders how this never came up in the prison when she was close to Xavier. It wasn't too hard to imagine he might just not have been from the same reality as the man here. He was clearly from the past. He could still walk and his hair was kept shorter. But if they were they same could it really have just never come up? She wouldn't have forgotten something like that. The augment maybe? She pushes the thought away for the moment.]

It must be strange to be the only one not coming from Kyrakios. [She means it sincerely and not as a taunt. It sounds hard to her.]

It's fine. [ It wasn't something the rest of the world really knew. Their little gang that went up against Shaw did, of course, meaning Hank and Erik knew, but everyone else that came across them would hardly make the connection. They didn't look similar and they didn't share a mutation that might bind them as relations; it's only the choice that made them family, their hearts handed over to one another.

Maybe that's how it was in the other worlds, and she clings to that hope. She wants to believe that there might have been more, because no matter how sour she was towards Charles and no matter how she needed to be free of him at times she could never, ever deny the fact that he was her family. They were all they had left, and she couldn't just forget that.

Still, Raven shakes her head, shifting a little and holding herself a little higher. All of this is a tangled mess of families that aren't families and confusion that leaves you feeling twisted and bitter - and she knows it. All she can do is try and appreciate what she has now and accept that she's stuck here and that they all have to move forward now; they have to try and figure things out as best they can.

Still, Kitty keeps going and manages, again, to hit a sore, open wound. ] It's different. [ Charles is different, Erik is different, Hank is different, and it makes her reactions harder to manage. ] But we're working on it.

[Finding the open wounds is probably her secret, secondary mutation. Or maybe she just feels some of the same with her Kurt being from several years into a future she'll never see. She knows it's changed him and the prison changed her. They still relate well to each other. There are times it's like it always was and she predict exactly what he's about to say and everything is comfortable and familiar. And other times when it's more distant. He's never a stranger to her, but he's not exactly the Kurt she knew and she knows she's not the Kitty he knew.]

Good. I mean, the working on it. That's the important part. I wouldn't expect anything less. I mean, there aren't many of us here. We need to be able to stick together. [Yes, she's including herself in that and she knows she doesn't have the history or the bond in their group just like she doesn't in the other group. But she's not going to ignore them either.]

[ We need to be able to stick together. Raven hesitates if only because she's not sure what to say; it's been a long time since she was part of a group or a unit that wanted to stick together and she has to try and accept and come to terms with the idea of it being a possibility now, here on the fleet. She's been along for so long that she's almost forgotten how it feels to be part of a group - and it's only her yearning for things to change and get better that makes her somewhat agreeable to it. She missed her family, and that's what she longs for now.

She doesn't really want to get into the dramatic mess that is her relationship with her brother, her "it's complicated" other half and her once-leader, so she shakes her head and shrugs a shoulder, trying to be nonchalant. ] We're trying. I don't think we can do anything else, not when we're trapped in close quarters. All we can do is try our best for each other - all of us.

[She nods.] I can understand that. Tight spaces tend to...accelerate relationships for good or bad. [She'd be pretty understanding if she could read brackets too. Family has always been important to Kitty. At least ever since she lost hers.]

So, I have you at something of a disadvantage knowing a little about your world from the others and a little about you kind of from your counterpart. If there's anything you want to know about me, just ask.

Let's hope it's good rather than bad. [ She and Charles are easier, she thinks, because there's a shared desire to be back to each other that neither of them can deny. Erik, however... That's a different matter. The bitterness and anger she still feels towards him is like poison in her mouth, leaving her feeling dirty when she thinks about him. One day it might get easier, but for now she has to simply swallow what she's given.

At least she manages to smile, almost. ] I don't know what I should know. [ She doesn't want to know about a dead Charles and a world where Magneto leads the X-Men, but she knows she is curious. Another time, maybe, but for now it feels like too much. ]

You got it. Putting another hope down for good. [She smiles a little as if it's betting on black at the roulette table or something.]

Yeah, it's probably right up there with getting asked what you're world's like. There's a lot to cover and it's hard to know where to start or even what really matters. The offer stands if you ever come up with something.

It's hard. [ Which is difficult for her to admit, really, and she turns her head away. How can she ask about Kitty's world when it sounds like hell in her eyes? The other Mystique might have adapted, but to her - it's a physical pain that she can't quite wrap her thoughts around, making her want to find her brother and just... Just be there. It even makes her long for Erik, in a twisted way. ]

It's like asking how much pain I want to be in, hearing about other worlds where everything is different. [ She shakes her head. ] Is there anything you want to ask me?

That's fair. My world is almost never pleasant to hear about. [Try living it.] I just figured you'd ask about my powers or something. Favorite color. Food I miss most. [She smiles a little. There are a few things about her that aren't a rabbit hole of terrible at least?]

Mmm, I kind of want to ask what Erik did that made him an idiot, but that feels like cheating. Is this the form [Gesturing at her.] someone you knew? Is it one you use a lot?

It's up to you if you want to talk about your powers. I know not everyone is comfortable sharing with a stranger. [ Mutants are mutants, and shoving your nose into their business and demanding to know what they could do might end up with you having more friends than enemies. There are some, of course, that don't mind being obnoxious and proud - she could name a few names - but Raven has learned better. She knows that she's one of those that would rather keep to herself.

Kitty still manages to ask the questions that make Raven want to both laugh and cry, and she crosses her arms. ] You can ask him that one. [ Let him have the job of describing why he's an asshole, she's not going to do it. ] But this - this is just me. It's how I've always chosen to look. I don't know where it came from, it's just... Raven.

["Just me." It's strange to hear that. Kitty almost never even saw her world's Raven shift. She was always in her usual blue skin. She may have shaved years and blemishes off for all Kitty knew. Maybe added some volume to her hair, because how was that even real? But it was a very different world and even a different time. Maybe she used to hide more. She certainly kept Kurt out of sight growing up.

Kitty spent very little time hiding herself and with a power like hers it was easy. More than that it wasn't her identity yet. She was afraid of it. She didn't want it. First from her parents when she realized what she was and then from those soldiers who were chasing her. There were only a handful of months before she was one of the X-Men and they didn't have to hide around each other.

She's not sure what to say about Raven's form. It's nice? It is. She's beautiful. But she's always been beautiful. And it feels strange, like complimenting a dress but with more complex pitfalls? And beautiful or not it makes her a little sad that she feels she has to wear it or feels more comfortable in a different skin. In the end she just nods in acknowledgement.]

I think I just might ask him. Hopefully he doesn't want to repo the claws if I do. [Which she didn't wear to this meeting because she didn't want it to go to a claws kind of place.] Which are weapons he made for me. [She takes a few steps over to a piece of the exercise equipment and reaches through it as if it wasn't there and waves the part of her hand that does appear on the other end at Raven.] I call it phasing.

[ Raven knows it must be strange for someone that knows 'her' to see her the way that she is - she isn't blue and standing tall, she's pale and strange and different, all blonde hair and a smile of false bravado. It comes because it has to and she has to hold her head high; she has to keep herself secret and hidden because it's too dangerous to even consider what it might mean to let herself be caught, considering what she knows. The others might think it's safe here but she hasn't decided that for herself yet.

She doesn't envy Kitty in the way that she might have, once, but there is certainly an edge of jealousy and frustration that comes from meeting anyone that has a mutation that they can 'hide'. They shouldn't have to, of course, and Raven believes that with all that she has - no one ought to hide - but it is something that still rubs at the raw wounds she tries very hard to shove away to the depths of her mind. Even now she feels as though she's ashamed of herself, that she's hiding, and the idea that people know and expect things from her make her uncomfortable and frustrated, time and time again.

At least Kitty is trying to be nice, and Raven can accept that. She moves forward to watch the other woman with interest, always curious about mutants and what they can do, the kinds of powers that they have and what makes them who they are. People are shaped by their mutations sometimes, after all, and it says a lot about someone when you get to see their gifts in person. ]

I see. [ How considerate of him. Raven wrinkles her nose, the idea of Erik making weapons for anyone a little awkward for her with their history still raw and bitter between them. Instead she focusses on the mutant power, her eyes widening before she brightens, a smile forming. ] That's incredible.

[Kitty smiles back.] Thanks. [She retracts her hand from the equipment.]

Um... Do you want to try it? [The hesitation comes from the fact that sharing her power is a lot like a trust exercise. She has to trust she's not going to be rejected by the person she's offering it to. How many screamed in terror as she saved their lives? And they have to trust that she's not going to leave them inside something which is a bigger leap of faith to make and one she can understand someone not wanting. It just tends to hurt.]

Phasing?

[ There's a moment of pause there if only because it reminds her of someone that she doesn't want to think about - a kind of movement, a kind of teleportation, and she has to shove the memories aside and focus on the woman in front of her. It doesn't take her long to make her choice - Raven's delight in other people's mutations is joined up with her pride in them, and if she can experience something then she will, without hesitation. ]

I'd love to.

[She offers her hand to the other woman.] It only works through touch. Just make sure not to let go. You'll be able to pass through anything. Just be careful with anything electronic if you want it to keep working.

I've never really had much use for electronics. [ There's no need for them when a) your brother is a telepath and then b) all your friends are dead. She takes Kitty's hand, stepping forward. ] Lead the way.

[She knows a lot about B and nothing about A from personal experience.]

No? I've always had a thing for them. Computers mostly. Kind of ironic. [She steps forward, avoiding the treadmill because she doesn't need to be frying the Caprine's stuff and leads her through the weight bench instead. There's not much to feel with phasing. Sometimes the mind invents something just to make the thing they are experiencing make more sense. She's heard about a static-like feeling before from people walking with her.]

Edited 2016-05-19 23:22 (UTC)

Charles is a telepath. We didn't really need any other way to stay in contact. [ At least until she left with Erik, then there was no contact whatsoever until Paris. She might have kept tabs on him, but it wasn't the same and both of them knew it - just as she knew that Charles must have checked on her a few times, must have made sure she was safe until it all went to hell.

For now she focusses on Kitty, on the awe she feels when they phase through the weight bench. Raven's hand grips her a little tighter until she turns her head, eyes widening and smile bright. ] That was incredible.

They do a lot more than communication. The computing power alone... And you don't care about that. [Excuse her while she remembers not to nerd at the unwilling. Clearly too much time spent around Winn, Vision, and even Hank and Cisco. But she does care about her powers and that's kind of fun.]

If you liked that, try taking a step up. [She demonstrates, by taking a step up as if onto a concrete block, but instead it's absolutely nothing. Well, air molecules, but it looks like nothing.]

I never had a reason to care. [ It's not like she had any other family or any kind of friends other than Charles, and she certainly didn't have a boyfriend or any chance at having one - not until they had literally stumbled across Hank. It was the first time she had met someone she thought she understood and who understood her.

At least Raven can appreciate nerdiness.

Kitty moves up and Raven blinks, careful for a moment before she shifts and takes a step. When she's in the air she looks down, delight almost exploding across her face. ] Oh my god.

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