driftfleet | may mingle (blameless!)

You kind of mentioned that. People disapprove?

They mean well? But - they're very . . . secure in themselves and what they are, too.

Which, sure, maybe works great for them, but that doesn't mean it's your thing.

Mmm. Not that I don't respect their advice, but . . . it isn't that easy, either.

I haven't really told you very much about the Hank I knew at home, have I? Director Henshaw?

[he shakes his head]

You haven't, no.

Well, he's kind of like... I don't know, a surrogate dad-boss to me and Alex. Which doesn't mean we always like each other very much, but he does try to look out for us.

He's a Martian. A real, from-Mars Martian. He's green and everything, and is also a telepath and can phase through objects like Kitty. Luckily the brain stuff doesn't work on me, but it's come in handy once or twice. Oh, and his name is really J'onn J'onzz. Martians: they're just like us! Kind of.

Anyway. We didn't know that for ages... Alex worked with him for nearly two years before finding out. Turns out the real Hank Henshaw was a bigoted alien hunter. Something happened, and long story short, J'onn saw the opportunity to take over his position, and change the direction of the DEO—the government organization he works for. And he's been at it for a long time, since me and Alex were kids.

Recently, I remembered what happened when people found out about him. He was arrested, and was going to be sent to a black-ops experiment site. Now Hank—J'onn, he's one of the most honorable men I know. And like me, pretty much the last of his kind. All he wanted to do in his life was to help people, and do good on this Earth, and in order to do that in the face of persecution, he had to hide.

In order to do what I do, I have to do the opposite of hide, while also kind of hiding, you know?

Long story short, I guess it's just a matter of circumstance. What works for me wouldn't work for him. I have the benefit of looking pretty much exactly like a human and he doesn't. It's an important difference when it comes to this stuff.

[he listens quietly, nodding here and there. She told him about the black-ops experiment site, but not much else]

He sounds like a really great guy.

[he leans on the counter, huffing out a noise] It is an important difference. I - before the blue and everything, I hid in plain sight, too. [wryly] In a government facility, no less. Even knowing my boss was supportive, and - hell, he was looking for mutants, I still hid it from him. He would have never found out had Charles not outed me by accident.

Raven understands it too, but - she's okay with who she is. "Mutant and proud", is what she says. And - I'm not not proud of who I am, but on the other hand, I . . . can't be proud like she is. Or like Erik is.

[ ~~sounds like the words of people who have cool powers~~ ]

How does Charles feel about any of this?

Charles is the only one I've never argued with. [but he sombers a little, sighing] But he's a telepath, so he's had to deal with his fair share of . . . people who don't understand. And he's taken the serum for his own reasons.

[ she reaches out a hand, to squeeze his if he'll go along with it ]

I think what's most important is that you own your reasons. It's no one else's business.

[he's spent so long the other way that at first, his grip is careful - and then he remembers there's no claws or strength to worry about, and tightens his hold a little]

Don't worry, that's the one thing I am good at.

[ she appreciates that he's tentative, even though he'd have to work at hurting her. she doesn't let go after the hand squeeze, especially since he's more sure of his grip, but she also doesn't really have a plan ]

I'm pretty sure you're good at more than one thing.

[he doesn't let go either, but his expression sort of . . . shifts. Into something a little more guilty, really, because he has to . . . talk to her. About things he isn't even sure he's qualified to talk about, and yet. And yet somehow it's a thing he has to handle]

No, no I'm . . . bad at most everything else. Like - pretending I didn't catch your subtle question earlier, or - starting conversations. That one I'm terrible at.

[ she notices the energy shift ]

And yet... sounds like that's going somewhere?

[in a move that's terribly mature and adult of him, he—

Drops his head down on his arm and groans]

I don't want to hurt you, Kara.

Well, I'm actually pretty sturdy and usually invulnerable so...

But that's not what you meant, is it?

[oh my god]

No . . . that's not what I meant.

[ she brushes her hair behind her ear and inspects her shoes ]

So...?

[he takes a deep breath and lifts his head, forcing himself to look at her]

. . . I'm - going to apologize now, because I know I'm going to say something wrong.

When I said it's complicated . . . Raven being here, I - I was being subtle, too. I don't know what - we are, but whatever word you put to it, it's . . . not fair to you. Or - to what we've been trying to start.

And - I really like you, Kara. I don't want to ruin - what we have now, because I was an idiot and didn't tell you that - I have history with someone else.

[he lets out a sigh and gestures vaguely, then lifts that hand to rub at his face underneath his glasses] Like I said . . . I don't want to hurt you. And - I'm sorry if I have already.

[ at least this isn't new territory for her. she's been here a lot. she has a tent and a sleeping bag in this place and she rents out plots to others. the friendzone is her home. she looks a little pained, but puts on a smile, and there's some genuineness with it ]

I understand, though I think you win more points for subtlety than I do.

Sorry, Hank. I was just being silly; I didn't mean to make you agonize about anything, or think you've hurt me. You're an excellent friend, and I look forward to keeping our friendship up.

I do have one request, though.

[this is brand new territory to him, especially considering Kara is probably the second girl in his entire life he's ever shown interest in. That's how new this whole thing is]

No - no, you didn't do anything, really. Please don't think you have. It's - more that I have a really bad track record with - important conversations like this.

[talk about understatements]

What's that?

[ VERY (mock) SERIOUSLY ]

I don't care how much you like her or how complicated things are, I get to taste the ice cream first.

[. . . he. He forces a half-grin]

You have my word. You get the first taste.

Come here.

[ come here. she's going to offer him a hug because they're cool bros who are cool and bros and can hug without weirdness ]

may mingle (blameless!)

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