driftfleet | may mingle (blameless!)

[the serum - completed and ready, on hand in case he needs it at a moment's notice - sits in a drawer underneath the main area he works. Habit to keep it close, not just for himself but at one time, Charles as well. They'd grown close in their misery and pain, and become each other's enablers in a way - allowing each other to dive into their worst habits unbothered.

When she sits up and speaks, his hand freezes over the needles.

It isn't hard to figure out where his mind goes, with the way his shoulders hunch and tense. To a night back in the mansion where he'd broken her heart, had said the wrong thing the wrong way and the echoes of guilt he still felt ring out loud in his head. He knew there were other reasons why she left, not just what happened between them, but he still shoulders the weight as if it was just him who pushed Raven away.

He forces himself to relax, breathes out, and closes his fingers around one of the syringes. He doesn't trust his voice, though, and instead of answering her he just wordlessly turns to hold it out to her.

And that says a lot]

[ He doesn't say anything and, for a moment, Raven thinks she's said the wrong thing, that the gentle peace that had developed between them was going to be shattered before it even got started. She wants to lean back and apologise without really saying sorry, but then Hank is turning towards her and holding it out - and, really, it looks just the same as it had in the mansion. It looks like the same, innocent little syringe, as if there was nothing that would change someone's very appearance sitting inside it.

Taking it, Raven touches the glass, feeling the edges of it and she wonders, for a moment, what it would do to her. Would it make her blonde forever, hiding the blue? She has to focus all the time when she's Raven and not Mystique, using half of her mind to keep the disguise up, and she can't ignore the way her mind prickles and makes her think how easy it would be to indulge. She can empathise with Hank and with Charles; she can see why they used it, why they let themselves hide their mutations.

It was almost sickening, how tempting it was.

Eventually, she turns it over in her fingers, hesitating before she shifts forward and holds her hand out to Hank. There's no hesitation then, nothing she can do but tilt her head up and look at the man she loves, her eyes set and sure. ]

Show me? You don't have to, I just -

[ How to do it. Where it goes, what Hank does. She doesn't want him to be ashamed of it, but she won't force him.

She doesn't want him to be alone. ]

[there's something incredibly intimate about this. Hank can't quite figure out how to word it in his head and he isn't sure if he wants to try, but letting her do something like this - knowing what it means to him, knowing how she feels about it -

instead of giving her his arm he sits down first, because he doesn't think he can do it standing. Sure, the physical change the serum grants him can be a little overwhelming too, but that isn't the real reason.

Then he holds out his hand to her, his free one rolling up the sleeve of his shirt. He's never had to explain this to someone. Charles already knew how, given his own background. He swallows and eventually finds his voice, gesturing with his (faintly shaking) free hand]

Just - in the vein, here. [god, where are his words? He's done this hundreds of times. One day he might even have to train someone else to do it] These are - different from the ones in our world, but it's the same as - when I took your blood. Remember?

[ This is what Raven needs to do, she thinks. Hank, Charles and Erik are so different and she has to make little sacrifices here and there to get close to them again, to let herself have their company. There's not much point going off and being a lone wolf on a fleet of ships when there's nowhere for her to go, and the only mutants she can fight for are the ones already close to her heart. Giving up little things, like her incredibly strong sense of belief in how Hank should present himself... She can do that.

Absently, of course, she knows how to inject someone with something - you stick it in their arm and press down in the top until it's all gone. It's different in practice, though, and she moves forward on the bed so she can reach out and stroke gentle fingers over Hank's forearm, glancing up as she listens to him. They've been in this position before and he brings it up, he says it, and it's so vastly different that it's almost hilarious. ]

I remember. [ She can't forget; she had been so close to drawing him into a kiss and then Erik had appeared and made her all - shy and embarrassed again, the prick. Her fingers smooth over his palm gently, more to soothe him than anything else, and she nods her head as her thumb traces the vein. This is something so different from anything they've shared before - she gave him her blood, sure, but she had grown up with Charles and genetics and science. This is intimate on a whole other level, Hank trusting her to give him something he needs.

Breathing out, she glances up with a slightly nervous expression before she hardens herself. She's shot a gun; she can handle a needle. ]

I've got it. [ She presses the needle into the vein carefully, not looking up at Hank because she knows that her focus needs to be on what she's doing. It's only when she's sure she's got it done right that she presses down, injecting the serum as her thumb continues to stroke gently over the bone of his wrist. ]

[it takes a considerable amount of effort to keep his arm still but he manages it, the other falling to clench his fingers in the leg of his pants.

He's never been bothered by needles; he'd given so much blood as a child for doctors to figure out why his feet were the way they were, taken more himself throughout college and after - even now, he's so used to it that it's as easy as any other routine.

But something like this . . . he wants to look away, he wants to look at Raven, he wants to watch and he can't quite decide one, until he just closes his eyes, putting his complete trust in her. She knows what she's doing, he can already tell - it isn't hard to figure out, and she's been around scientists almost her whole life.

His voice is oddly quiet, and he takes a deep breath as she presses it into the crook of his arm] I trust you.

[ The intensity of the moment isn't lost on Raven, and she is incredibly careful as she watches the serum go into Hank. There's no pause or hesitation in how she handles herself, and she's gentle - as gentle as she can be when she's stabbing someone's skin and shoving medicine into their bloodstream. She wants to be careful because she doesn't want to do it wrong, and the idea that she might, somehow, is a fear she can't really quell.

What's more important to her, of course, mentally, is the trust that this shows between the two of them. Raven knows that this is a sore spot for Hank, that it leaves him uneasy and uncomfortable, the fact that he still uses it making him ashamed - and she can understand that herself. She can feel the shame that burns under her own skin and it's a kind of pressure that she can't avoid, the sort of thing that is inescapable - because it's a part of being a mutant in the world they know. It's simply a part of being them.

When she's done she draws the needle out gentle, reaching over to place it to one side before she grabs a handkerchief from the side of the table, leaning over Hank as she does it, dabbing at his skin carefully - just because he's big and strong doesn't mean he hasn't earned the TLC that comes after an injection. The weight of all of it exhausts her all the same, and even as she holds his hand in her own she can feel the pressure, wanting to hide away and think about it before she gives into the urge to just... Fall.

Slowly, her eyes lift to his and she nods her head. ]

Good to go.

[when the serum takes effect, it's always slow; starting from his arm and slowly working its way up, blue skin and fur almost melting away into paler, pink skin, his clothes slowly becoming a size too big. As blue hair is exchanged for brown he can't help but roll his shoulders, as if that will hurry the serum on its way, to getting the change done so he can stop thinking about it.

It never hurts. Not physically.

He waits until the fangs are gone, and the claws are starting to recede to finally open his eyes and look at her, unsure of what he'll find. But he looks anyway because he has to, and that - she's still blue, a part of him is utterly relieved. That she hasn't decided to hide because he has.

He shifts, turning his hand over to clasp hers and lean forward to kiss her, a brief one lest they get caught up on each other again] Thank you.

[ Raven watches it with careful eyes, not judging him but learning instead. She watches him and sees his body change, shifting and transforming under her watch, almost the way that hers does but not quite as smooth. It starts in his arms and moves backwards towards the rest of his body, and Raven just - she simply breathes. She watches him and she breathes because she needed to see how this worked for him, needed to understand how it changed him.

It's easy for her to hide, after all; it's who she is, part of her very existence. It's not the same for Hank.

When he opens his eyes she doesn't look away; she just smiles, watching him. She's tired, really, she is, but she's glad she got to see this. She's glad she got to see a part of Hank that, maybe, he tends to keep more private. Most of all she's glad she's here to see him, glad that she can sit in front of him and know that they're working on their lives together.

When he kisses her it feels like home. ]

Of course. [ Another kiss, one on his mouth and then a quick one against his forehead before she shifts back. ] I'll be here.

[what she doesn't know is that it's incredibly private - it isn't something he does in front of anyone else, not even Charles. The two of them, at their worst, had resorted to separate parts of the mansion for this particular vice. Charles in his room, Hank in the lab or in his own room.

He manages a smile back, weak but real. Suddenly he's tired too, but he has things to do and honestly, he wants her to get some rest. It'll pass, as all the emotions he feels settle down into something more manageable, set aside in a way that won't have their effects on the serum]

Okay. [she shifts back and he reaches up to touch her cheek, before he forces himself to stand up. To go do his work and let her get her rest]

may mingle (blameless!)

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cw needles just to be safe

continuing the cw needles

continuing the cw needles

continuing the cw needles

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