tony (badass motherfucker) stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
privatizes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
privatizes) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ
Who: Tony Stark [privatizes and YOU.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
privatizes and YOU.Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
no subject
Naaaah Pinkie just giggles and takes it in stride.]
Nope nope aaand nope, I don't know what bored hydras have to do with that though~
I'm from Equestria, it's in a WHOLE different world than this one! LOTS of ponies like me live there! I wasn't BORN talking, though, I had to learn just like any other filly!
[Sooo an alternate world where ponies are a sentient species and the primary demographic of at least one country.]
no subject
...right, anyway.
[ MOVING ON ]
You said kitchen rank III, right? I'm guessing that's what you have?
no subject
[Just wait, she hasn't even gotten to the part about pony magic literally making the world go 'round. And the sun, and the moon.]
Yup! I don't usually go for coffee though, it's just a teeeeeensy bit too bitter, no matter HOW sweet I make it. My crewmates told me you can buy upgrades for the kitchen and bathrooms and bunks and other stuff, though.
[PRAISE BE!]
no subject
So I'm guessing not all the ships have a jacuzzi.
[ he is clearly on the right ship, here ]
You have to go through the Atroma for all of that, though.
no subject
[Oh, they're created equally, but those upgrades are the product of a loooot of payments.]
Oh my gosh, you have a Jacuzzi?! Luckyyy~
[Not to self: look up cost of a Rank II Bathroom.]
no subject
[ he noticed that timer on the shower, though theirs seems to be gracious ]
Or who you have to share it with. I have standards.
no subject
Standards?
[Hers is a clothing optional society. Heck, communal bathing at the spa's just fine.]
no subject
[ he's probably already grounded after the whole ultron mess but whatever ]
But standards. They're important. Crucial.
no subject
[And she actually discloses her actual age to him, somewhere between her late teens and early twenties.
Lucky, even her mun doesn't know no matter HOW MUCH she tries to figure it out!]no subject
... right.
[ pause ]
So how long is the average lifespan on your planet?
[ may as well make captain america hate him forever ]
PONY CANON, TELL US THESE THINGS SO I'M NOT GRASPING AT STRAWS!!!!!!
[Probably closer to a human's aging than a regular Midgardian equid since a six-year-old's still a young child.]
Silly me, though, we're getting WAY ahead of ourselves again! I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name?
[What do you know, Steve was right!]
no subject
... Tony.
[ he absolutely refuses to say the words pinkie pie out loud ]
Tony Stark. -- just Tony, that's fine, whatever -- you said princess?
no subject
[Toney Stark, huh? Are you in the printing industry or something?]
Yes indeedy! We've got four at home: Princess Celesta, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, and last but absonitely defilutely NOT least, my best friend Twilight Sparkle~!
no subject
And these ladies -- men? Are there male ponies? -- I'm not going to ask, these horses, ponies, whatever, they're your... rulers?
[ pause ]
Do you have a system of pony parliament or what?
no subject
Yes, they're mares, otherwise they'd be PRINCES, and yup, they rule us! Princess Celestia and Princess Luna rule Equestria and they move the sun and the moon, Princess Cadance rules the Crystal Empire up north with Twilight's brother Shining Armor, and Twilight's got a brand-new castle in Ponyville! We DO have male ponies but they're called stallions!
no subject
... there's a pony named Shining Armor?
[ omFG ]
no subject
Yeah! Like I said, he's Twilight's big brother and he was the captain of Princess Celestia's guard, and now he's Princess Cadance's husband so he helps her rule the Crystal Empire! AND they're gonna have a baby soon and it's so exciting I hope I can get home in time to throw the foal shower~!
no subject
Greatl. Well. Congratulations. I guess?
[ what is his life ]
no subject
Wow, you asked a LOT of questions! Are you a reporter or something?
[Could be newspapers he's printing those Stark Tones on.]