tony (badass motherfucker) stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
privatizes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
privatizes) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ
Who: Tony Stark [privatizes and YOU.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
privatizes and YOU.Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
video; totally not late to the party or anything
Whatever that is, if there's a gel or paste version in your ship's kitchen, be leery. It typically tastes like Mabari shit.
video; never late!
[ tony is not looking forward to having to live off of that, if he's here for that long ]
video;
video;
So it's a dog.
[ way to trivialize mabari-dom tony ]
video;
A dog. Sure. Just like a dragon is a lizard.
video;
[ tony will fight u ]
Just a bigger version. Scalier, probably.
video;
[Dragons are a pain in the ass.]
But that's my point. A dragon is not just a lizard. And a mabari is not just a dog.
video;
[ pause ]
But growing up a lizard to a massive size is still a lizard. Just a big one. With more teeth.
[ HE WILL NOT GIVE UP THIS FIGHT HERO OF FERELDEN ]
video;
I'm not saying a dragon isn't a lizard! But calling it just a lizard does it no credit; it's misleading.
video;
[ obvi ]
Besides, dragons are kind of not a thing I need to deal with, so I'll just think of them as big oversized lizards from bad Dreamworks movies and call it a day
no subject
[Silly little qualifiers and all.]
I do not know what a movie is, but I take it they're not as large of a problem where you're from?
no subject
[ thor's world is pretty fucking weird ]
We have other weird monsters to fight sometimes, but dragons? Not a thing. Aliens, yeah, but not dragons.
no subject
[Something doesn't add up there, bud.]
Opposite problem for me. I never heard of or met an alien until I came here. Are they particularly troublesome?
no subject
[ like
harry potter ]
They're alright, as long as they stay person-sized. We had a ton of massive ones go crashing around one of our major cities a few years ago. Caused a mess. Knocked over some skyscrapers.
no subject
[Aliens aside, what he describes is all too familiar.]
Big things do love making a mess of cities. "Oooh, lots of buildings and people! I cannot fight my impulse to smash them all to pieces!"
[She might be channeling Shale a bit...]