tony (badass motherfucker) stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
privatizes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
privatizes) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ
Who: Tony Stark [privatizes and YOU.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
privatizes and YOU.Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
Video (super late, but why not)
Hi, Tony!
Um. I figured out a really awesome mix to make hot chocolate, would that help? None of the protein gels tastes right for coffee though.
Video nah not late at all!
Can you put caffeine into the hot chocolate? And make it foamy?
[ MOCHA LATTES HERE HE COMES ]
Re: Video nah not late at all!
[She doesn't do much cooking.] Blender thingy?
no subject
Yeah, I need a milk steamer. Not a blender.
We're not making orange mocha frappuccinos over here.
no subject
[It's like he's speaking in tongues.]
no subject
So we're not in the portion of history where Starbucks has taken over the far reaches of the galaxy.
no subject
I'm from the year 3193.
[Uh.]
We have nanobots?
no subject
3193.
[ sweet jesus ]
Nanobots exist in our world -- kinda? Probably not the same thing you're thinking of. We can replicate flesh and bone and -- whatever, that's not the point. What do yours do?
no subject
[Okay, so far this Tony is way nicer than the guy in Proles. She feels a little bad for judging him so harshly before. That had been unfair of her.]
no subject
Your skeleton's not organic?
[ c u r i o u s. tony can sympathize with the difficulties of upkeep. ]
Isn't the future a magical place -- when was that invented?
no subject
I don't think magic actually exists? But apparently it does here, so who knows. Um... I don't know, the process on making my skeleton was new. The armor composites branched off of gate-crossing space vessels though, I think? So like it's probably a couple hundred years old?