tony (badass motherfucker) stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
privatizes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
privatizes) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-17 08:13 pm
ᴏᴏ1 : ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ
Who: Tony Stark [privatizes and YOU.
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
privatizes and YOU.Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: S.S. Pathstone.
When: Now!
[ tony has spoken to some folks on the fleet already, and has figured out a number of things.
1. this is not the first time he has been here. apparently, there have been multiple versions of him here, and therefore a good number of people aboard the fleet knows who he is. whether or not that's a good thing is yet to be determined.
2. there are alternate dimensions, universes, and worlds. which he knew already, thanks to loki and his fucking magical mystery tour of hell a few years ago, but it's a lot different here. memory mismanagement, different versions of different people... hawkeye is a chick now? sure, whatever. okay.
3. he has no suit. he has no lab. he has no money. he has literally nothing that he usually brings to the table when he does this whole 'good guy' thing, and so he has to make do with the weapons he does have.
4. the reality tv thing is probably bullshit, but you know what? let's do this thing.
so when tony finally turns on the camera to greet the fleet properly, he's sitting at the communications station on the pathstone, fiddling with a screwdriver in his hands. ]
So.
[ smooth beginning ]
What's a guy gotta do for a decent latte around here?
[ that's it. that's the post. time to feel out how many people actually recognize him around here. but first: ]
[ encrypted; filtered to steve rogers, wanda maximoff, peggy carter, and the vision ]
Hey, gang. Avengers Assemble or whatever.
[ he really just wanted to say it once. but after that joke, tony grows a little more serious. ]
I set up an encrypted feed. You're all on the list. I'm the only one who can add people on and off it, so don't bother trying, 'cause I'll both notice and be pissed that you tried. The Atroma can probably read and listen to every single word, but I'm still not convinced the rest of the Fleet is as trustworthy or welcoming as they claim to be. Best we keep anything superhero related to ourselves.
[ and he pauses ]
They put me on the Pathstone. It has no shields and no weaponry, but it has a jacuzzi.
[ said in the world's most dry tone ]
And on a totally hypothetical note, what happens when you apply to be captain on the computer?
no subject
[ AND THERE YOU GO AGAIN ]
The Atroma bring in people - beings from every world. Including whatever world the ponies are from.
[ ponyland? ponyville? ]
no subject
[ TONY COULD NOT ROLL HIS EYES HARDER ]
Are there Pony Avengers, are you looking to sign them up to fight evil in this brave new world?
no subject
[ which means, yes, he will be exactly that. ]
The other one's name is Cheese Sandwich. You can mock that here instead of to its face.
no subject
You're kidding me.
{ IS THIS EVEN REAL LIFE ]
no subject
[ HE'S AS WEIRDED OUT BY THIS AS YOU ARE, TONY, OK ]
no subject
[ so there ]
no subject
[ which is the most he'll say ]
But the fact of the matter is, they're talking ponies from a world where ponies like them are the majority and you don't have to go visit Ponyville, you just have to try and be nicer to Pinkie Pie.