"most dickish kicked puppy of all time" (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sandhate) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-19 11:01 pm
sandhate) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-19 11:01 pm
(no subject)
Who: Anakin Skywalker
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Paisley
When: Right meow
There are a lot of questions and interests about other worlds lately. I have one question that I'm interested in right now. [ Alright, Ankain you can do this. Forget about that scolding Obi-Wan voice in your head telling you that the future is always changing. ] Does your universe-- do you believe in fate?
[ Oh, great. It sounds like a load of bantha dung when he actually hears it out loud. Awkwardly: ]
Destiny.
[ That doesn't help, which is fine. It's fine. It goes against the Jedi teachings and feels wrong just saying it. Nevermind that things are different with each universe, so it can't be really applicable, right?
Whatever, roll with it.
He adds, without pause, a completely unnecessary definition. ]
That certain things needs to happen in the future.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Paisley
When: Right meow
There are a lot of questions and interests about other worlds lately. I have one question that I'm interested in right now. [ Alright, Ankain you can do this. Forget about that scolding Obi-Wan voice in your head telling you that the future is always changing. ] Does your universe-- do you believe in fate?
[ Oh, great. It sounds like a load of bantha dung when he actually hears it out loud. Awkwardly: ]
Destiny.
[ That doesn't help, which is fine. It's fine. It goes against the Jedi teachings and feels wrong just saying it. Nevermind that things are different with each universe, so it can't be really applicable, right?
Whatever, roll with it.
He adds, without pause, a completely unnecessary definition. ]
That certain things needs to happen in the future.
private.
private.
Most days, it hurts my head to think about what lies before me.
private.
[He looks down, feeling a bit awkward. It is rather personal.
But it's important.]
As insane as it feels, and as heavy as whatever you're going through feels that you need to ask us all this question... There's reason for hope. If you're gonna fight to fix yourself, kick and scream and cling to the doorway. And when you fail, you try to kick and scream and cling to the next doorway.
And - if you've got a good family... stick by them. Hold on tight to them.
private.
Has Obi-Wan forgiven him for his transgressions against the core beliefs of the Order, the thing they've dedicated their lives to. He knows he's tried, he told Obi-Wan that he'd try to be a better man and he is trying. But the future looms darkly over him.
He has a family in the people here. He has - or will have children in the future. And he does hold on to them as tight as he can - that is his flaw. He can't let the future he's been informed of to happen. ]
I know that I'll always try. It's just here- This place [ A sigh ] It feels like I'm stuck in the doorway.
private.
It gives you time to think. Sure, it's frustrating to think so much without being able to move, but. Some people aren't afforded that time back home, with all the crap that gets thrown at them left and right.
It sounds kind of corny, but when I get overwhelmed, I usually just try to do something that benefits the world around me. It's a nice distraction, you know?
private.
[ Cole. And well, look what happen to that. And Greed, damn. It just brought more nightmares on himself. ]
It's ... It shouldn't be complicated but that's what it feels like. Everything I'm trying here is that. I've come up with a solution to my problems in my... one of my potential futures. It's perfect, or at least it's more than a valid consideration. It just--
[ He sighs. Cutting Palpatine off the Force would be like death, trapping someone in a shell of what they used to be but it would work. He knows it. It would be a bloodless, effective way to neutralize their biggest foe, in a way for non-Jedi to understand. ]
It's not good enough. Some would be call it wrong.
private.
I'm not going to pretend my morals and world can match yours. I couldn't tell you how to judge your actions. Sometimes good intentions can go wrong, sometimes they can save the world.
... I've killed to protect others. I've stopped evil things, and I've stopped not-so-evil things who couldn't help but be what they are. There's no easy answer; I think you know that. But it sounds like you also know the repercussions of your choices in the future, now.
That you might know where things go wrong.
You'll need to weigh the costs of changing those choices.
private.
I would do anything but there are too many things that could go wrong. Saying that I know where it could go wrong doesn't mean I can act on it. Not being able to act on it. [ His turn to sigh ] There's no point in it now. I'm talking myself in circles.
private.
[He smiles thinly, though.]
... It'll always be what you make of it here.
How you cope, how you dwell on it or don't - you're the one who has the power, in the end.
You've got people here you care about, right? I'd hate for you to lose precious time with them in the present thinking about how you can't do anything about the future. [A pause.] When you start spiraling into that kind of thinking that feels so torturous, maybe going out and dedicating that brainpower to someone in the fleet will help.