driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Anakin Skywalker
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Paisley
When: Right meow

There are a lot of questions and interests about other worlds lately. I have one question that I'm interested in right now. [ Alright, Ankain you can do this. Forget about that scolding Obi-Wan voice in your head telling you that the future is always changing. ] Does your universe-- do you believe in fate?

[ Oh, great. It sounds like a load of bantha dung when he actually hears it out loud. Awkwardly: ]

Destiny.

[ That doesn't help, which is fine. It's fine. It goes against the Jedi teachings and feels wrong just saying it. Nevermind that things are different with each universe, so it can't be really applicable, right?

Whatever, roll with it.

He adds, without pause, a completely unnecessary definition. ]

That certain things needs to happen in the future.

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[ He takes a moment before he speaks, retrained ]

Then why would you ask me-- why wouldn't you believe me?

[ She looks at him, compassionate and frustrated all at once. ]

Because there's something that feels off. Everything we've learned, all of those nightmares. Are you really sure you're okay?

[ He rubs his temples and covers his jaw with his hand for a moment. He looks at her as she looks at him, contemplating on relative truths. ]

Those things - they do bother me. But I'm trying to stay in the present and focus on what is in front of me. And you are in front of me. I feel a need to asked these questions sometimes because of all the things I can do here, figuring out what my role is in the greater scheme feels like the only thing I can do.

[ Hands, both mechanical and biological, reach out for her this time. ]

It doesn't mean that I'm going to go off the deep end any time soon.

I never said you were going off the deep end.

[ She doesn't take his hands. She's still a few feet from him, but the gap between them might as well span a star system. Padmé's anger has cooled, but her frustration and concern hasn't. ]

That's not a bad thing. But we have to face it all sooner or later. We need to be clear-headed when we go back.

No, but you're worried I might. If it isn't true, tell me. I'll believe you.

[ There's no lack of vindictiveness in that; he's still willing to believe her even if she doesn't believe him. He holds out his hand a moment longer before dropping it and looks at them. Quietly: ]

I know. I'll do better.

[ If he keeps saying that to her, to Obi-Wan, maybe it'll work. But the voice that tells him you're afraid still lingers, it's followed by a woman's voice - my son my son my son. But that's fainter now, he can live with it. And he has. ]

[ She stares at him, surprised and confused. "I'll believe you" is an obvious dig. ]

You're not going to go crazy, Anakin. I'm worried you'll exhaust yourself, not that you'll go insane.

I won't! [ Desperate, he nearly jumps to his feet in effort to convince her. He calms himself in the last minute and sits back down. ] There is nothing but time here. I have nothing to do but rest and think - really think. I'm not going to go wear myself out. Or insane.

And-- And I have Ahsoka here. I have Obi-Wan. I have you.

[ His reaction makes her think that she's touched a nerve. Maybe it's something that she never even suspected was bothering him.

She frowns. ] Is that what's bothering you? That you're worried that I'll think you're insane?

No. [ He runs his hands through his hair and stands. ] I'm not worried about anything. I just want to be happy with you. There's nothing more to it.

You just don't want to believe it.

Of course I want to believe it. But belief doesn't make it true. I can't ignore the nightmares. I can't pretend nothing's wrong.

The nightmares are temporary. Something happened when Greed was still here. Ahsoka went into his ...soul and got stuck. So we -- me and Obi-Wan went into his soul to get her. It's nothing now. They'll be gone soon.

You went into someone's soul?

It's a concentration of Force energies. It's complicated to explain. That's why I didn't tell you.

Because you assumed I couldn't understand.

Yes, but it's not just that! There's no point in talking about it. It's over. Greed is gone, Ahsoka is safe.

But something happened.

It happened some time ago.

But it's still bothering you.

They're after-effects. I have no control over the nightmares, but it's happening less. I know it's getting better. I'm getting better. So yes. It's bothering me but it's bothering me less.

You're still barely sleeping.

[ She sighs. ] You don't have to get better on your own, Anakin.

[ Softly ] I just didn't want to wake you.

Losing sleep doesn't bother me, not when you need me.

Padme, please. I can handle this.

[ Her frustration boils over. Dismissing her concerns over and over has finally worn down her patience. If he's just going to say the same thing over and over, there's no point to continuing the conversation. Not right now, at least.

But it still stings. And although her voice is even and calm, she can't hide her frustration and hurt from him. ]

Okay. [ She turns to leave. ]

Padme. [ He watches her leave a moment longer while the shock of it is still making his mind reel. His hand starts to reach out but her out right refusal is still fresh. He clench his fist by his side. ] I'm handling my problems my way! Can you even entertain the idea that I might be able to do that!

Edited 2016-06-26 01:50 (UTC)