Happy Birthday From the Dark Side!

[spontaneouscombustion]

Who: Finn, Pinkie Pie, and YOU!
Broadcast: EVERYWHERE!
Action: The Caprine, especially the bridge.
When: Today~

[Video: Encrypted from Finn]



[HOLY COW that is a huge pink pony grin in your face!]

Gooood morning, everybody~! Gueeeess who's birthday it is today~? If you guessed Finn, then you'd be right! AND you'd be invited to his super special first EVERY birthday party on the Caprine! If you guessed wrong, don't worry, you're invited anyway! There'll be cake and ice cream and music and games and lots and LOTS of blue fizzy drinks! Hope we see you there~!


[Action]



[While Pinkie has Poe distract Finn for most of the day, this little party pony's hard at work making this the best (and only) birthday this ex-Storm Trooper's ever had! As advertised, the whole ship is decorated bow to stern with streamers and lights and balloons. There's music throughout all the speakers, dancing and games on the bridge, and SO MANY TREATS in the kitchen. There's mild and spicy nachos, salsa, cubes of spiky blue fruit that tastes like cantaloupe, candy, and HUGE birthday cake made from as many real ingredients as Pinkie could get her hooves on. There's also a HUGE punch bowl with Pinkie's best punch recipe, and pre-poured cups of what looks like some blue fizzy milkshake. Knock yourselves out, guys, and help Finn have the best birthday ever since the First Order is made of jerks!]

Comments

[forcesensitive]

Should there be?

[Of course there's no alcohol. There's not even any on the ship--okay, there wasn't any of this on the ship before Pinkie had decorated, but still.

--Could ponies even digest alcohol?]

[archaeotechnician]

[archaeotechnician]

[ as flat as the salar de uyuni ( the flattest place on earth ): ] Yes.

[forcesensitive]

[This must be one of those normal person things he has no idea about. Oops.]

Might be able to get some and mix it in.

[archaeotechnician]

[ got it in one, finn, lil buddy.

aphra, for her part, manages to look personally offended. not that that that's very hard. the entire situation is offensive as far as she's concerned. first, the invasive decorations. now, no alcohol. next someone will be telling her to smile and she'll have to shoot said someone. ( in all honesty, however, doing so would make her smile. ) ]

That is not the point. The point, [ she proceeds as if elucidating some toddler level skill to an actual toddler, ] is that a party without alcohol is unnatural and not a party. You're human, right? You know this. And it's your party!

[ every civilized and non-civilized sector of the galaxy knows this, finn. why are you like this. ]

[forcesensitive]

[Finn looks almost comically guilty for a split second before his eyes light up with a plausible excuse.]

Yeah, but Pinkie's not human or from our galaxy, and she set it all up.

[There's a very good reason he's like this....]

[archaeotechnician]

[ finn tries excuse.

it's not very effective. ]

So you told someone to go get the drinks, then.

[forcesensitive]

[At that he actually looks surprised.]

Naw. It was a surprise, and--I'm not going to tell anyone who bothered to come all the way over just to see me to leave.

[archaeotechnician]

[ give her a minute —

deep breaths, aphra, you can do this.

okay. ]

Birthday boy, you're with me. Let's go.

[forcesensitive]

[Finn yelps.]

I can't leave my own party! But--tell you what, I got some credit chips, you could pick some alcohol up if I give them to you?

[archaeotechnician]

[ aphra rolls her eyes. ]

Calm down, I'm not kidnapping you. You'll be back before anyone knows you're gone. I'm gonna need help with the boxes, and since you don't want to ask anyone else…

[forcesensitive]

[that sounds fake but okay]

Oh. Well, okay, as long as we get back pretty quick?

[archaeotechnician]

No one will have time to miss you.

[ she crosses her heart. ]

Promise.

[forcesensitive]

[Sounds legit. He nods.]

Okay. Let's go.

[archaeotechnician]

[ aphra grins. ]

Keep up.

[ she leads the way to the shuttles. ease of familiarity has her sinking into the pilot's seat and pulling away from the caprine; she's done this run before. after docking, she heads straight for the space bar that passes for seediest on this haphazard excuse for a fleet: the aptly named space bar. aphra puts in her order…and two shots, one of which she slides across the bar to finn. the other she lifts to toast with. ]

There's my present to you. Many happy returns.

[forcesensitive]

[He takes the shot and toasts, looking super unsure, but it can't possibly be worse than that death naga hot sauce Pinkie had - and it's not, even if he has to keep himself from choking as he drinks it.]

Wooo!

[archaeotechnician]

That's the spirit! [ she thumps him on the back helpfully, then flags down the bartender. ]

Hey! Two more! It's his birthday today, he's… [ wait. ] How old are you?

[forcesensitive]

[He blinks a few times and takes a breath or two, though he manages not to cough.]

Twenty-four. I think--calendar's a little different from home.

[archaeotechnician]

[ aphra leans on her elbows. ]

So how is it that you've lived twenty-four years and you don't know what's expected from a proper celebration?

[forcesensitive]

[He tenses up a little, though the alcohol is already starting to work.]

Because twenty-three of those were real shitty?