Happy Birthday From the Dark Side!

[spontaneouscombustion]

Who: Finn, Pinkie Pie, and YOU!
Broadcast: EVERYWHERE!
Action: The Caprine, especially the bridge.
When: Today~

[Video: Encrypted from Finn]



[HOLY COW that is a huge pink pony grin in your face!]

Gooood morning, everybody~! Gueeeess who's birthday it is today~? If you guessed Finn, then you'd be right! AND you'd be invited to his super special first EVERY birthday party on the Caprine! If you guessed wrong, don't worry, you're invited anyway! There'll be cake and ice cream and music and games and lots and LOTS of blue fizzy drinks! Hope we see you there~!


[Action]



[While Pinkie has Poe distract Finn for most of the day, this little party pony's hard at work making this the best (and only) birthday this ex-Storm Trooper's ever had! As advertised, the whole ship is decorated bow to stern with streamers and lights and balloons. There's music throughout all the speakers, dancing and games on the bridge, and SO MANY TREATS in the kitchen. There's mild and spicy nachos, salsa, cubes of spiky blue fruit that tastes like cantaloupe, candy, and HUGE birthday cake made from as many real ingredients as Pinkie could get her hooves on. There's also a HUGE punch bowl with Pinkie's best punch recipe, and pre-poured cups of what looks like some blue fizzy milkshake. Knock yourselves out, guys, and help Finn have the best birthday ever since the First Order is made of jerks!]

Comments

[forcesensitive]

[He frowns, because that's not the rules he's ever lived his life by.] Then they'd have me, too, even if they didn't look for anything else.

[And then he just looks confused.]

But if they put you in jail for crossing the street at the wrong time, I don't think very much of their idea of "fair".

[passingthrough]

I think it was just some kind of game they played. An experiment. Kind of like the way I see this place. I'm not one to take my captors at face value.

[forcesensitive]

[The confusion clearns and he nods thoughtfully.]

Looking for excuses, basically. Like this whole "reality show" thing.

[passingthrough]

Right. I doubt I'm any more the most entertaining person in the universe than I was the most criminal.

[forcesensitive]

[And that gets a snort of laughter.]

I don't know, I've watched some holos with really low standards.

[passingthrough]

[She's heard about holo whatevers replacing TV in his world enough that the term doesn't throw her.] Yeah? Would you watch me then?

[forcesensitive]

If it's that or endless reruns of Clone Brothers, sure. I mean, I liked the show, but you can only watch the same thing so many times.

[passingthrough]

Clone brothers? [She looks amused.] Is cloning a big thing back home?

[forcesensitive]

[Finn winces lightly.]

Controversial. But it's a historical drama, takes place about fifty years ago during the Clone Wars.

[passingthrough]

Clone wars, huh? Sounds like it was definitely a thing.

[forcesensitive]

Well, it's called that cause there was a clone army, not cause they were fighting over cloning.

[passingthrough]

So, just an army that all looked like the same person?

[forcesensitive]

That was based on an exceptional warrior, and had some commands genetically coded in. But armies always worse face-concealing helmets anyway, so it didn't matter if they looked all the same.

[passingthrough]

Commands genetically coded in...to people? Wow. [Yeah, she doesn't think that's okay. Not that she's hot on having an army of clones in the first place. Cloning for medical or procreation reasons, sure.] It might matter to them. Were they treated as disposable?

[forcesensitive]

Yeah. The idea was they couldn't betray their maker that way. And it worked - they were the standard for all troops after, even when they stopped using clones.

[He nods, grimacing.]

Of course. Who cares about one trooper when you have ten thousand more just like him?

[passingthrough]

What happened to them when they were too old to fight if they didn't die in battle? [Apparently someone cares about the troopers.]

[forcesensitive]

[Finn shrugs, trying not to show how much the question bothers him.]

You'd have to ask someone in charge. Regular troopers never got to know. But--

If I had to guess, they either went into training young troopers or got sent to a breeding program, or both.

[passingthrough]

...Breeding program...

It just keeps getting better. [And reminds her too much of home even if it seems like a more civilized version of home which is worse somehow. At least everyone could see just how broken and ugly things were where she was from.]

[forcesensitive]

Yeah.

[He smiles again, though it's a little forced.]

But at least I never have to go back.

[passingthrough]

[She nods.] I am bringing your birthday down. We should fix that with sugar. [There will be time to get into the injustices of the world again. Maybe in a later thread already in progress.]

[forcesensitive]

[That helps the smile be less forced.]

Sounds good.