driftfleet | (no subject)

Charles and I have already promised each other no details, ever. There are some things you can't take back.

[ They're lucky that the Blameless is a quiet, understated ship, and with Hank as captain and her as first mate it means they'll be able to at least organise things a little to make things easier for Charles and Erik. Their room - rooms, technically, since they do have one each - might not be big but it'd be enough, and if she and Hank can share a bed then there'd likely be enough space for Charles and Erik to squash together too. They can have the captain's quarters and she can drag Hank to the room she had abandoned, not too far away.

She doesn't want to be too far from them. She wants to be close, in case she's needed.

(She doesn't imagine she will be, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared).

Moving back to Hank's mouth she kisses him again, holding him gently and feeling warmth flood her, happiness taking the place of the anger and pain she was feeling. It's not going to make everything better nor will it make it all go away, but it's enough to make it pause for now, enough to make her feel like she can breathe through her exhaustion. ]

It's a date, then. We can just be together, lock the door, spend a day with each other.

Mmm. I can't talk to him about that stuff anyway, and - I'm not talking to Erik about it. That's just strange.

[no offense, Erik.

They do have things to their advantage, here, and if it turns out there's still a threat out there it isn't as though they can't just put the ship on lockdown. With Charles and Erik here and taken care of, he has the other people in the crew to check on, to make sure they're safe too in case they got caught up in the chaos, too. Other people, too, mutants, friends -

He doesn't think he'll be going anywhere anytime soon and he's fine with that. He's needed here.

He kisses back, then rests his forehead against hers, sighing out quietly. Sooner or later they're going to have to rest themselves, more than what they're doing now - if they can manage it, that is. He shuts his eyes and manages something of a half-smile]

I'm okay with that. We can catch up on all the sleep we're going to miss.

I can't imagine talking to him about these things either. Battle plans, maybe, or the worlds you were in before, but - no.

[ Which is about as much of a hint as she's willing to give that she's spoken to Erik about the world the three of them were in before this one, asked him about what it was like, how it changed him, how it changed his relationship with Charles. There's still a long way for her to go before she can accept things and really move forward, but she knows she's trying and she knows that Charles and Erik can see it. Hank can, too, even if they're more careful with each other, not wanting to upset the balance they've found in each other's arms.

Both of them are so tired that Raven can't even think about pushing herself up to her feet and walking back into the room. The emotional weight is as heavy as the physical effort it takes to make sure both Charles and Erik are alright, and knowing that it's not going to end for a little while should scare her. Instead, it's almost comforting - knowing she can watch them, make sure they're safe, make sure they're alive... It makes her feel better than she had before.

Even if Hank completely misses her meaning - though the idea of just collapsing and falling asleep in his arms is just as tempting as anything else her mind can come up with. ]

Focus on them and then focus on us, right?

[that gives him pause, and he looks curious for a moment before he files it away to ask about another time. He didn't want to get into other worlds nonsense right now, not when he was still making parallels in the back of his mind] I jokingly told him I'd ask him for dating advice, since I'm not asking Charles.

[he can't help but be a little thankful that all of his bad habits tend to work out for the better in these situations. Insomnia, working himself to exhaustion, he's more used to that than he should be and yet, it always seems to come in handy somehow.

When things let up, and they've had time to start healing and resting, he knows he'll be pleased that they're all in the same place once more. A shadow of what home should have been, and one that will be fleeting, but - it'd be a lie to say he didn't miss them all together.

He doesn't miss her meaning, exactly, but he's too tired to really muster up any genuine flustering. It's easier to be practical, until he finds his second wind]

Mmhmm. Though I think now that they're resting we can focus a little bit on us for now.

And what did he say to that remarkable suggestion?

[ Raven can't imagine Erik being the kind of person to offer any kind of dating advice, but she had never imagined him as the kind of person that could be in any kind of romantic relationship. She had been proven wrong on that front, by her own brother no less, and she supposes all her preconceptions need to be put aside for now. The things she thought she knew don't exist anymore, and she has to get used to that feeling - she has to get used to the knowledge that it's not going to be that simple anymore.

At least they have a little bit of time. Charles and Erik are going to be on the Blameless for a little while and it means she can use the time to be around them, despite lingering awkwardness. When Charles is feeling better she knows that she's going to have to ask him about what happened to him and she knows it's going to be awkward and painful, but it's something she has to understand if they're going to move forward and begin to renew their relationship properly.

Neither of them can walk on eggshells anymore.

Closing her eyes, Raven leans close and rests against Hank, tilting her head so she can settle it on his shoulder, letting herself draw on his strength for a moment. She's tired right down to her bones and all she wants is to sleep for a while - but sleep is far, far way for now. Sleep can come when Erik and Charles are settled and patched up and in their bed ready to get their own rest. ]

We have focussed on us, haven't we? We'll need to go back inside soon.

He asked if I've ever been on a date before.

[he says it with a huff, because he may have been out of touch with the world for a long time, he wasn't that bad. He won't say anything further about Erik's romantic . . . whatevers, though, despite knowing that Charles and Erik have their own moments and dates and whatever else. Not only was it not his place, he didn't want to think about it.

He moves a hand to rub her back in slow, soothing motions, eyes still closed and just taking the moment to relax. To let some of the tension aching in his shoulders to ease. They did take some time for themselves but he had meant later, once they were settled and Hank felt like like could move further than just the wall outside. He presses a kiss to her temple and makes an agreeing noise]

If we don't they'll get suspicious.

You've definitely been on one of those.

[ What it means to her, at least, is that they're all moving forward together. There are things they still have to learn, but they're all trying, as a group. No one else on this fleet - or in the world, really - can understand what they mean to each other, how important their relationships with each other are, and Raven knows that it's something that they need to come to terms with themselves. One by one things will end up getting better, but it's going to take time and effort and work for them to reach a point where they're all happy.

For now, she can lean into Hank, feeling the warmth of his touch and the contentment that comes with it. It's not as if her anger has been erased, or her exhaustion has been forgotten, but it's enough that she can put a pause on it for now. It's enough that she can feel as though she is comfortable going back inside, comfortable seeing to her brother and seeing to Erik, able to put all the pain and heartache to one side and compartmentalise before she loses her mind again, comes close to the brink of losing herself to her own sadness.

Tilting her head, she smiles, holding onto Hank and not wanting to let go. ]

I'm sure they're thinking the same thing. Maybe they needed some privacy too.

I told him. Ah - about ours, I mean. Without details.

[not that he had to, mentioning the hotel, but he didn't say it and Erik didn't ask, so he wasn't thinking about it. He isn't thinking about happiness, either - not in the sense he had in the past. This place had already gone and proven that if they focused on it too much it would try to snatch it away, and he wasn't making that mistake again.

There's a very distinct pause as he considers what she says and he leans to the side, just a bit, quiet while he listens. He can't hear into the room that well, but he can hear the quiet murmur of voices. He leans back and makes a noise, resting his chin on her shoulder]

Mm, I'm sure they do need it. [and, because he's a brat] But if they're making out in there I will hit them both.

[he knows they aren't, but he has to joke about something, everything is too serious now]

I told Charles, considering he helped me a little.

[ But she hadn't shared details with her brother, and she didn't intend to, either. They were happy making sure their romantic lives were entirely separate from their platonic ones and Raven was okay with that; she was okay with not knowing any of the things that Erik and Charles got up to when they were alone together. She was sure Charles would have a hernia if she started telling him everything she did with Hank.

Raven follows Hank, moving forward to try and listen, but her hearing isn't as sensitive as his and all she can hear is their breathing. When he comes back to her she wraps herself around him, turning her head and kissing just above his ear, smiling fondly to herself as she settles, comfortably. ]

If they're making out in there I'll hit them. They're in our lab and they're in no fit state for anything beyond PG-13.

[ Not that she wants to think about that, either, because.

Brother. ]

I remember.

[Hank was more than okay with that. Both because it would just be strange to him, to share those details, and because in general he's always been a fairly private person. What they did behind closed doors was their business, and what the other two did was their business.

He hums his agreement and wraps his arms around her a little tighter, sighing out. He's fine sitting out here a little longer to give them privacy, so they can check on each other and discuss whatever it is they probably want to without he and Raven in the room. He turns his head to kiss her temple]

PG. [head injuries and fractured ribs do not make for PG-13. And a pause]

You called it our lab.

[he wins]

He seems... Happy about it all.

[ It's odd, mostly because she had imagined that Charles might warn her away from Hank, especially since she had been alone and living the life of a vigilante for so long. She doesn't want to feel as though she might be working towards breaking his heart, but it's entirely possible - even though she knows she will go through incredible lengths to prevent it. She wants to give Hank love, not leave him hurting and vulnerable.

At least they're cuddled close now, feeling warm and comfortable and happily at peace. The exhaustion might not leave and the hurt is still a sore, open wound in her chest but she's content to settle herself in Hank's arms, to turn into his touches and the press of his lips before she huffs a little noise, leaning back. ]

PG is definitely the better option for everyone involved, isn't it?

[ And then she leans back, frowning. ]

Only because I was promoted! It's still ninety percent yours.

He's happy that you're happy.

[he won't point out that Charles had been worried, when he tried to actually date here, or was concerned when he and Raven restarted their relationship. Not in a bad way, no, but he had a feeling Charles didn't want either of them getting hurt in the end. Then again, Hank tried not to bring it up - it was too weird, talking to Charles about his sister]

If they know what's good for them they'll keep it to that. [look at him, so threatening.

She leans back and he grins at her, pleased as punch that she said it]

Doesn't matter, you still said it. My point's been proven.

I'm still getting used to that.

[ Having a brother is a little difficult, to go back to how they were before but better, but Raven is learning and she is trying and so is he. They're working together and it's magical, because it means that they're on equal terms, on level footing, that they're growing and shaping together. She loves seeing them get back together because it means that the future will be better, and easier - what can't she face if she knows she has someone behind her, supporting her? It's not just Charles, of course, but there's something special about their relationship growing again that she can't avoid.

Wrinkling her noise, she lifts a hand and resists the urge to pinch Hank's cheek in retaliation. ]

You're very scary when you're bossy.

[ But, still, she shakes her head and huffs a noise. ]

I'm only going to let you have this one because I'm too tired to argue.

I know you are.

[even if Charles insists he doesn't want to meddle, he can hear it in her voice or Charles' when he talks about her, and even in the lab earlier - they're relearning how to be around each other and be siblings, and it'd be a lie if he said he wasn't happy about it. All he wanted was his family to be happy and safe and, while the latter was proven never to be a guarantee, the former was at least still an option. That Charles and Raven were trying with each other - he doesn't think either of them realize it means something to Hank, too. That his two most important people are together again.

It's no surprise he's a giant sap.

He makes a face, though, and can't help but squint at her]

I'm not scary at all, I thought we established that.

[he gently urges her closer, reaching up with a hand to push some hair out of her face]

You should rest, then. They're not going anywhere anytime soon. And I mean rest that isn't - on the floor out here, on top of me.

[not that he's complaining]

[ She tilts her head to look at Hank and, for a moment, she's struck by everything that he is. Kindness and honesty and warmth bundled up with determination and a kind of strength that everyone underestimates because it's not the obvious kind - and she loves him. She loves his concern, his sweetness, how he worries and cares but also how he defends what's his, how he has some kind of hope, how he's willing to fight. It makes Raven burn with how much she cares for him, and for a moment all she can do is stare, drinking him in and wondering how any of them got lucky enough to have Hank in their lives.

(It's easier to kiss him than think about it, so that's what she does, pressing their mouths together for something gentle and chaste).

When she shakes her head, she smiles, her palm gentle on his cheeks. ]

Yeah, I'm the scary one. I remember.

[ Leaning into his touch is easy, but then she has to breathe out a noise and shake her head. She can look a little coy, but she knows both of them know that it's not real, that it's a gentle play. ]

I like being on top of you.

[ The pretence over and done with, the expected tease uttered, she leans back and sighs. ]

I'll rest once they're asleep. I feel like I have to be on guard, just in case.

[his brows furrow when he catches her staring, but he welcomes the kiss and returns it, just as soft. His exhaustion is bone deep, the kind he hasn't felt in months, not with the threat of competitions and lives being put on the line long behind him. In an odd way those experiences prepared him better for this than their own world, because he doesn't think he would've handled everything as well as he did.

Of course, having Raven here as well helped a great deal. Far more than she realizes.

He makes a noise and smiles a bit, lopsided] I know better than to argue that again.

[he has a feeling that he'd be too tired to react properly; hell, someone could wander this way right now and see them both piled on the floor and he wouldn't care]

I know you do. [how could he not? But he frowns a little and leans forward to kiss her forehead]

You don't have to be, not here. Remember - I promised it was safe here? I meant that.

[ Hank might never truly understand just how important he is to her, but she thinks that might be okay. He must know, by now, how important he is to so many people - Charles, Erik, the kids that she's sure were at the school, Alex, too, and Sean before the worst happened - and what kind of influence he's had on their little world. There's something incredible about people like Hank, and Raven thinks, absently, that she wishes she was a little more like him, a little more understanding.

Life might be a bit easier if she was more like Hank and less like Erik.

Still, she shakes her head, tilting herself up so she can hook her chin over Hank's shoulder, resting against him gently and doing her best not to let on the fact that she's still trying to come down from the high of anger and despair that had claimed her and exhausted her so quickly.

They're together. All four of them. That's what counts.

At least she can smile, closing her eyes. ]

I know. That doesn't mean my brain can accept it just like that.

[ She's just too used to being on edge; she wonders if it'll ever really go away. ]

When they're resting I think we'll be able to rest too.

[it isn't so much understanding as he doesn't think his impact on anything is that great. And honestly, he would never be able to think himself so important - hell, he doesn't even go by "doctor" or anything like that, always preferring to just be Hank and nothing else. Years of the way he was raised back home is responsible for that, and it's not something he'll change anytime soon.

Not that he minds. As long as he's doing something for those he cares about, he doesn't want nor need the recognition.

She rests against him and he rubs her back, slow, soothing up and down motions because they're both stressed and tired, both coming down from all the emotions that ran through them when they saw the state Erik and Charles were in. Even now, it wouldn't be all that hard to get fired up about it all again.

He shifts just a little so he's leaning more against the wall and sighs out, slow]

I know. [he wishes he could prove it was safe somehow, but this is still better than nothing. She was still resting, in a sense]

I still have to put a cast on Erik and then we have to get them into our room so they can get some real rest. [either that or he'll just shove the cots together for them. He didn't want to think about their relationship sometimes, but that didn't mean he wasn't considerate of it, either]

If it's too hard for them to move then we can adjust the beds and shove some things together. I know if the roles were reversed I wouldn't want to be too far away from you at a time like this.

[ Though, she doesn't want to imagine their roles being in reverse. All four of them could take care of themselves, of course, could defend themselves and one another, but the idea of there being more pain, or of someone going out of their way to hurt Hank... It made her blood boil. These people were the only people she had in the world, the only people she would ever be able to admit to loving, and Raven would never let anyone get away with hurting them. If that meant she had to rise up and risk herself to do it then she would - she would do anything to keep them safe.

It's obvious, she thinks, too, that she's been coming to terms with what Charles and Erik share. It might not have made sense to her before now, but with hindsight and with more knowledge given to her from Erik and his soft words... She can accept it. It's not even a matter or her liking it or not liking it, because it's not that simple; love never is, considering how silly and complex it can be, and the fact that she's sprawled across Hank the way she is right now is proof of that. If someone had told her a handful of months ago that she would have been given the chance to tell him she loved him...

Well, she would have laughed in their faces.

Now she can make a soft noise, turning her head and leaning close, just enjoying the touch to her back and the warmth of her boyfriend, feeling at peace and oddly happy, content and freed despite her warring emotions. ]

I'm sure we can find some tea for Charles somewhere too. He'd appreciate it.

[he can't help but smile a little] I was thinking the same thing. Ah - pushing the cots together, not - the other part. But I wouldn't want to be far from you either.

[that might even be the better option, and they can work at making it as comfortable as possible. He didn't like the idea of moving them so soon anyway, not when they were born worn down from their fights and injuries. And keeping them in the lab would be convenient for all of them, too. He'd have to ask them how they felt, though - not everyone liked sleeping in a lab like Hank did.

He's resolutely not thinking about their positions being reversed, though. Not with anger and everything else ebbing away. Later, likely when he's by himself, it'll all come flooding back and he'll find a way to take it out on something, but for now, it's fine being shoved deep down, where it won't overtake him.

He makes a noise of agreement, smile widening] I think we still have some. And Erik would appreciate it too, I think.

I can bring the pillows from my room here, too, if they decide to sleep in the lab. Otherwise they can have mine and I'll sleep on you.

[ As it is, right now, she has bracketed Charles with a handful of pillows to try and make things feel a bit easier for him, and she's loathe to take those away. If anything she wants to smother him in pillows and blankets and duvets so that he feels safe and protected even if she and Hank are down the hall, out of sight (though not entirely out of mind in his case). The lab wasn't the most comfortable place in the world, true, but she had grown quite fond of it after the nights she had spent there sleeping alongside Hank, and she thinks that Charles and Erik would like it since they could be together.

Both of them, her and Hank, are moving forward and trying to ignore their pain, even if it settles around them and aches a little. It's going to come back and Raven is sure she'll end up breaking again - hell, Hank might too, since he had been strong for her - but they'd help each other. They'd push their shattered pieces back together and they would make it work, because they loved each other and cared about each other and wouldn't let anyone ruin that.

Humming against his neck, Raven considers. ] If only there was some decent food I could steal for them.

You say that as if you don't already sleep on me. [he makes an amused noise] We'll make them comfortable.

[honestly, if it was possible to drag one of the mattresses into the lab, he'd do that too. He might even consider it later, knowing full well neither of them will want to be far from the lab if that's where they end up staying. He can bother with the specifics later, once the other two decide where they want to go, and what else can be done to make this all as easy for them as possible.

He hums thoughtfully, one hand trailing up her back to tangle in her hair, running his fingers through it] I don't think there is. Kate's pretty good with what's available, though. They'll both need to eat something eventually.

You make a very handsome pillow, Hank. [ She shakes her head, closing her eyes and leaning against him for a moment, basking. ] Though I don't think Erik would necessarily agree with me.

[ Raven knows they'd both do anything they could to make Charles and Erik a little more comfortable, and it's amazing and frightening all at once. She was still finding her place again, after all, but the familiar devotion comes back to her as easily as it had left - and it is scary. It's scary how much they mean to her, as her friends, her family, the people she loves, and coming close to losing them, even if they were never close to dying - that terrifies her.

She's lost quite enough already; she's going to fight for this for the rest of her life.

At least Hank's touch is soothing and gentle and Raven feels a little catlike as she leans into it, making a little fond noise before she breathes out. ] I'm very good at making Charles eat. You should have seen him when he was writing his thesis.

Please don't bring Erik into this when we're talking about me being a pillow.

[just . . . no.

He still has concerns and worries, both as a doctor and because he worries regardless, but it's easy enough to push them aside and focus more on Raven, focus on better things like what they were going to do for Erik and Charles, or just helping her calm down and relax. It was better than letting himself dwell on things, especially when he was planning on doing all of that later, when he had his own bit of privacy to air out the feelings that just won't go away with talking.

He laughs a bit, a faint huff of noise] I can imagine. Especially considering I don't think I even slept while writing mine.

I suppose neither of you would appreciate the situation.

[ At least they're able to laugh now, which means something. Not too long ago Raven was sure she was going to break, was absolutely certain that she was going to end up losing her mind, and somehow she had been brought back. Somehow, Hank had wrapped himself around her and saved her from the disaster of her own mind - at least for now. It was all on pause and she felt better about it, felt calmer, and she could breathe. It might not ever all be okay, it might never all be better, but at least they were getting there. At least they were proving their strength, on becoming something that no one could take down.

Shaking her head, she leans back and presses a careful little kiss against the tip of his nose. ]

I hope you know I'll never let anything like that happen again.