fashionably late to the mingle party

[bryces_pup]

Who: The crew of the SS Sad Blue Fish and any visitors
Broadcast: nope?
Action: Yas
When: The entire month of June

[So far June hasn't been the best month for the ship, having lost two crew members, awful things being discovered, and then SOMEONE got thrown through a shop window. Come cheer these poor saps up, or come commiserate. The locks are no longer active so people can freely wander onto the ship again.]

Comments

[nugqueen]

She thought she was using me, as Margolaine once did, but I've always known where my place was. I've always known what good I could do for the Maker, no matter the cost. Even when others would ridicule me for the vision I had - you believed in me. You believed and Justinia believed in me. I did everything I could for you both and so that gives me a clear conscience.

[Truly there had been a lot of dirty work. She didn't regret it.]

Justinia worried, I think, that the things I did for her were too great for my conscience to bear. It wasn't exactly the same as slaying an Archdemon.

[She squeezes Riona's hand back, smiling. She wanted her and Alistair to be happy, to have the family they'd always wanted.]

I'm sure you'll have the family you both want. I have faith in that. You wouldn't risk everything for something trivial - you'll find the cure.

[bryces_pup]

[And it occurs to her just now that she's not all entirely sure what a Left Hand does. But when Leliana mentions Marjolaine, and Justinia's fears, her stomach clenches.]

What... exactly did you have to do as Left Hand? I know you extended the Divine's reach, but how?

[Because she's more curious than ever. And concerned.]

Maker, I hope you're right. If I manage... promise you'll come to Denerim when the baby is born. Please? I'll cajole Zevran and any of the others I can manage, too

[nugqueen]

Diplomacy was Cassandra's duty as the Right hand. She was who promoted the Divine's decrees as needed. When Diplomacy failed, that was when I was needed.

[She knew Justinia hated it. More than once they'd spoken about it, about whether Leliana was alright or if she needed someone else to take an assignment. Leliana refused and took her work seriously.]

Should anyone be thought to want to harm her... it was my job to stop it, whatever the means. I couldn't stop Kirkwall's rebellion and I couldn't stop Justinia's death. I failed in my duty.

[She takes a small breath, leaning back against the wall and reaching to steal a bite of food as she looks over at Riona]

I have never been afraid to do what needed to be done. I miss the simpler days of quiet behind the Chantry walls, but I do not begrudge that Justinia needed me. You needed me once, too.

[bryces_pup]

[So, in essence, Leliana returned to life as a bard. One part bard, one part spy, and one part assassin.

It made her stomach turn. Because she remembered how Leliana had wanted to get away from that, after what it had done to her. What Marjolaine had done to her. She devoted herself whole-heartedly to people. First Marjolaine and playing the great Game, then Riona and fighting the Blight, and then Justinia and her pursuit of peace. And now the Inquisition and its aim to... fix things, it would seem. Leliana never gave any less than her all.

The pieces were starting to come together, and what she saw worried her. She suspected it would, but Maker, she had wanted to be wrong.]

Leli, the ends don't always justify the means. It's tempting sometimes, to do what's expedient or most thorough, but... the price is not always worth it. Justinia may have needed you, and she could not have picked better, but that did not mean she didn't ask for too much. It did not mean that you didn't break off pieces of yourself in the process.

[Perhaps she saw too much into it. Maybe she was overreacting. But her gut told her otherwise.]

There's always a line, there's always a point where it's going too far. How many times did Justinia ask you to cross that line?

[nugqueen]

Most times my duties involved more secrecy than dispatching justice. I investigated the uprising in Kirkwall, assessing whether or not an Exalted March was needed to suppress the conflict in the city. There was a group of apostates as well, called Resolutionists, and then there was the task of trying to convince Grand Cleric Elthina to return to Val Royoux but that was all for naught. The Chantry was destroyed. Justinia was a peaceful person and exercised what restraint she could but there were times where there was pressure to no longer stay her hand, namely during the growing times of conflict that followed Kirkwall.

[But since then she's learned that peace could only promise so much. Change needed to take root first, before peace could happen. Unfortunately neither was so easily won.]

[bryces_pup]

And she acted through you. If a mage destroyed the Chantry, the backlash against the mages would have been considerable. So I imagine some of those actions may have been harsh.

[But she's purely guessing here. Guessing at the future and what will be done. She's not clairvoyant and she feels as if she's flailing uselessly.]

I can't be sure of all that you did, Leli. But I can say this: when we do the Maker's work, it's not just in what we do but in also how we do it.

[nugqueen]

It was considerable. There's still a lot of violence brought on by it. Uprisings everywhere, Templars and Mages at war... if you can picture that. Still, not all share the same sentiment. There are good and bad on both sides, as it's always been.

[She gives Riona a steady look, her blue eyes sharp as a hawk's.]

I did not do what my conscience wouldn't allow, I promise. There are times where I have regretted my work but never if it meant Thedas' continued stability. You know I will always champion the Mage's freedom. Why should they not share what you and I both so readily have? They should be given choices, and yet there are some on both sides who would see the Circles be their prison 'for their own good' or some rubbish like that.

[She scoffs and shakes her head, thinking of Vivienne. She was a smart woman but Leliana didn't see eye to eye on several things with her.]

But, I think we've lost sight of why I brought you food.

[She taps Riona on the nose with a gloved finger, smiling sadly.]

What can I do to help you through this? I know that things are bleak back home but you and I are still here. We are together. I know if Alistair - your Alistair - could be here he'd be here by your side.

[bryces_pup]

[But what has your conscience come to allow? The question remains unspoken. Right now, she's not sure if she really has enough evidence to back her gut feeling, and frankly she's too tired to deal with it much more tonight.]

I hope it all works out. Maker knows Thedas could use a break.

[Most of her viewpoints line up with Leliana's, but they've had this discussion in the past, and again, way too damn tired.]

You're doing all that can be done. It is simply something I must work through. [As hard as it was.] It doesn't help I miss him so much. Having that Alistair here, it both helped and made it worse.

[nugqueen]

I think I could use a break too - all of us could.

[She laughs a bit, genuine and not sad or bitter for once.]

I do what I can, for as long as the Maker - or the Atroma - allows me to be at your side. Your role in all this isn't easy. I think, among our band of Thedosians, you have the least first hand knowledge of events to come. I don't envy you that in the slightest and wish I could make it easier somehow. I wish I could bring you joy more than I do.