driftfleet | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Who: Wrath (and maybe you?)
Broadcast: Entire fleet
Action: Windrose medlab, she ain't goin anywhere
When: June 11 (four days after this mess)

[Text]

extra large protein lovers pizza
++ spicy soypperoni
+ red chilies
++ mazer beer ipa or equivalent 1 6pack

5 strippers
pref male
++ purple body glitter
++ portable sound system
+ boa constrictor

deliver to: lt wrath, windrose

[Audio]

[She doesn’t quite know how bad she looks, but she knows how bad she feels. There is no way the people in the fleet need to see this. So it’s audio only. Wrath’s words slur faintly, like someone who is profoundly tired rather than drunk. Chems do that to her.]

Hey everyone. Um. I had an accident and I’m gonna be… down for a little while. I know I wanted to do a coffee thing for all my brother soldiers but… that’s gonna have to wait. Til I’m on my feet again. Really sorry, guys. But it’ll happen. Just a little later.

Anyway like last time I was in traction I just ordered pizza and strippers, but I tried to do that here and it doesn’t work? And there’s no pudding or nurses. So I’m kind of super bored since I can’t move around right now. So anyone want to like… watch vids or play games or something? I could maybe figure out how to do chess on the network. Or ask someone for help. Or tell stories. Or like. Visitors would be nice? Yeah.

Officer Snuggles says hi, everyone. [The fox yips.] And. Um. Bye~

[Action]

[Wrath, almost completely immobilized in traction to keep her spine from crumbling completely, occupies the Windrose’s medlab for the timebeing, Officer Snuggles normally curled up on the corner of the bed when he’s not out patrolling. Wrath herself looks like hell, nasty bruises and stitched up head and facial lacerations, her left eye’s sclera still crimson. But she’s doing her best to maintain a positive attitude. There’s not really anything else for her to do.

Visitors are what she really, really wants. Being stuck in bed and unable to move around and really touch anything is starting to eat at her badly. It’s a vague sort of unease, blurred out by the drugs, but it’s definitely not doing her anxiety levels any good. Before the ports are removed, nothing feels right anyway, which is another sort of alarming. She's got the painting frame for entertainment beyond staring at the ceiling, but her fine motor control is terrifyingly lacking, and she doesn't think she can blame it all on the drugs.

And Winter… she’s not thinking about what actually happened if she can help it. That wasn’t Winter. He wasn’t at home when that all went down. It was a fight, she survived, everything is okay now. She’s tough as hell. She’s not going to think about how it feels like falling. She’s not going to think about how last time, Compliance showed up and tried to take her right out of her hospital bed. She’s not going to drive herself crazy with worry about how Winter is doing and if everyone is treating him okay and if everyone gets it wasn’t his fault. And she’s sure as hell not going to think about how next time, it might be her turn.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Silver's good. Like highlighting especially...

[Let's play with that a little, maybe some irregular bits in the skirt, reminiscent of the silver lining of a cloud?]

[Her tone is actually very kind as she continues on, for all her vocabulary is rough as always:] Don't bullshit me, Winn. I'm an M.I. dumbass but Charles says I'm like... emotionally intelligent, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. But it does seem to mean I can smell bullshit a mile off.

[She adds another bit of silver highlighting.] It's all right if you're not okay, you know. We're not under live fire.

I don't think you're a dumbass anything.

[ he knows what it's like to be judged for what you do; how many people wrote him off because he's just a computer nerd? he never wants to do that to anyone.

a part of him is happy that he's such a terrible liar, that everyone can see right through him - it makes bottling things up a lot harder, and he knows he shouldn't be doing it. but at the same time, he's constantly burdening people who should be concerned about themselves, and he just feels so guilty. ]

I'll be fine. [ he corrects himself ] I'm just worried about my girlfriend and my friend - they're pretty incredible ladies, but sometimes that gets them hurt. [ he's so worried about so many things and so many people it feels like his head is about to overheat and explode, but it won't. it won't because he'll find a way home for all of them and then...then he'll worry til his head explodes about everyone who chooses to go back to their own worlds instead of join him at his because so many of those worlds just sound awful. ]

Aww, that's nice of you to say. [It's okay, Winn. She knows she's not very smart. Or at least, there is something in her brain that reminds her of that fact.]

It's okay to worry about people. That means you're a good friend. [She smiles at him.] But... I dunno about Kitty, but this is my job. You're good at other stuff. You're super creative, and you take care of people, and you organize things and keep morale up, and even more things that I don't know or understand. You do a lot of stuff I can't. So I do this job so people like you can keep doing all the important things that I can't do.

I just didn't do my job that great this time around, 'cause the hostile got past me. Sorry about that.

[ he knows all about things in your brain that remind you of things that just aren't true, except his are emotional barriers. ]

What -- no, no, Wrath -

[ he's going to gently put his hand on hers, because he's so afraid to hurt her. ] You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sure you were amazing. Thank you for protecting us -- but you're just as important, you know that, right? Not because of what you do or don't do - because of who you are.

[ he's just gonna go ahead and borrow kara's inspirational speech to him, because it feels like wrath needs to hear it. ]

You're much more than a job, you're one of the most fun people I've ever met. [ even if she scares the shit out of him sometimes ] And Charles is right - you have a lot of emotional intelligence. And regular intelligence, too. And you're talented, and you're funny, you're a good friend. That's all important. You're important.

[If she was that amazing, Winn, if she was up to her old standards, Winter never would have made it down that hall. Why does no one seem to get that fact? But what else can she really say? It feels weird to argue with people that she really is nothing--you're a soldier, you're good at your job, only the mission matters, you don't matter--and she's not sure how to correct that perception. It was a lot easier to deal with before she got discharged. Before she had friends.

Maybe friends are just people who believe nice things about you despite all evidence to the contrary. It's something to mull over.] That's really kind of you to say. Thank you.

[Nice and Kind are to different things, and Winn is definitely kind. She gives his hand a little squeeze. She hates how weak her fingers feel, a slight tremor in them with the synthetic nerves still not aligned properly, thanks to her ports being broken.] Don't feel bad, Winn, okay? I have the easy job. You have the hard job.

[ do you know what winn would have been, had he been there? that's right. dead. to him, being able to land a punch is amazing. surviving is the most amazing. ]

I'm not saying it because I'm kind, Wrath, I'm saying it because it's true. You matter so much - to everyone on this ship, to all your friends.

[ he smiles a little when she squeezes his hand ]

If I told you not to fight, could you do it? That's like telling me not to feel bad when someone I care about is hurt. Both our jobs are hard. But you're tough, and I got a great smile it's criminal to hide - we'll pull through.

[She has to blink back tears at that. Stupid chems, making her all emotional, but it's okay to be emotional right now. Right? But it's weird to think that she is important in a way that isn't the job or the position or even shit like publicity for the cartoon show. She's still not sure how to quite grasp it, because the entire idea of mattering while not being overtly useful is a confusing one.

But still, it feels good to hear.] Thanks, Winn.

You're tough as hell too, Winn. Just in a different way. Because you keep going.

[ he can practically hear his own heart breaking at this; she clearly hasn't been told this enough. he knows how painful feeling like you don't matter can be like, and he's had kara in his life for the past two years. ]

Anytime at all, Wrath.

[ he returns the gentle squeeze to her hand, again so careful not to hurt her ]

Well, I gotta. Have to make my heroes proud.

[ the way he looks at her as he says it makes it clear she's on that list.

he's moved, too. since the attack happened - kara has called him brave - one of the bravest people she knows, even - and now wrath is calling him tough. as a guy who always considered himself a wimpy coward - and hated himself for it - he can't really put to words how much that means to him. he wants so badly to be strong, not to be a burden on the people he loves. and wrath...wrath is blunt, wrath isn't blinded to his faults, he doesn't think. wrath is easier to believe. ]

[She doesn't deserve to be on that list. She really doesn't. But she also doesn't know how or want to argue about it. Because it feels nice in one way, even if she feels guilty about it in another. But she can encourage him, because he deserves that.]

I think you already do.

[ he knows a few things about not feeling worthy. he also knows how constantly being reminded that it isn't true is the only way to start believing that maybe - just maybe - the people around him, who he loves and respects - know what they're talking about.

he smiles at her. ]

Thank you. That means a lot coming from one of them. [ wrath risked her life to protect all of them - that's exactly what a hero does. ]

[She really doesn't deserve this, at all. Not when she failed so completely at doing her job. But encouraging Winn is important, in her opinion--he looks like he really needs the encouragement--and trying to explain it or argue really wouldn't help.

The best she can do is try to earn it later, if her back gets fixed and she can do her job again. Though she's already got conflicting feelings about that. She gives him a good, brave smile and squeezes his hand.] I'm gonna make you earn it with this dress, though.

[ she does a really good job at keeping those feelings to herself, because as far as winn can tell she's accepted it - which does encourage him. being able to help in any way always does. ]

Bring it on! I will take on any dress, any time - [ cue the pained smile as he shakes his head ] Or. Whatever the manly version of that is. [ why does he keep doing this. brain, we need to talk. why do you hate me? how have I ever wronged you? ]

[She eyes him speculatively.] I dunno, Winn, I think you'd look pretty hot in a dress, if it was the right dress. [...she's not actually teasing?

Hm. Hey, how about she starts sketching a little Winn figure so they can try dresses on him.]

NOT! What I meant. I will take on making any dress --

[ what are you doing wrath no, the horror on his face. ]

What's with that look? You've got really nice shoulders, you know. And I bet you have cute legs. [Hey, people wear whatever the hell they want in the 32nd century.]

[ he's not from the 32nd century, and he's already insecure in his masculinity. he's not buff, he's not particularly tall, he makes clothes and loves disney... ]

All things I can show off with a tank top and shorts - [ not that he will because, well, for one he's pretty insecure about his body and for two - he gets cold. ]

[Squint.]

Is this some kind of I come from the dark ages thing?

Though I mean like. You don't have to wear anything you don't want to, obviously. [You're just being really weird about it, is all.]

I think dark ages is a little harsh - we do go to space.

[ but yeah, it kind of is. he knows they're just clothes and his feeling this way comes from society kind of sucking - women wearing pants doesn't feel weird, men wearing dresses shouldn't either, he's heard the lectures. but logic vs. emotion, basically. ]

Yeah, but people have babies in their bodies and you eat animals. [So what she's saying is it still seems pretty dark to her. Okay, but it is a dark ages thing, is what she's getting.]

What about pink? Are you okay with pink?

...blue's more my color.

[ he looks good in it, it's kitty's favorite, it's considered masculine even though disney's most famous princesses wear it... ]

How do people have babies where you're from?

You look cute in blue too. [Okay, she's slightly disappointed to not have found a pink buddy yet.]

Uterine replicators! It's a lot safer. And it means homosexual couples can have babies too, which I guess isn't a thing when you're from?

Thanks - [ she gets a little smile now, because ok, that's a beautiful woman complimenting his looks. he's ok with being cute, it works for kitty! ]

Ah, I think they use a surrogate sometimes but I'm not really an expert on the subject.

I don't know what that is. Like where I'm from, they just combine the genetics in the lab and it's like a normal thing from there on.

What year are you from?

[ this must be how hank felt, when winn was describing the internet to him. except...the internet is cooler. ]

3163. I think I accidentally told someone 3162 a while ago, but it's been a weird six months.

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