nerdeology: (but the seraph had no time for humans)

WOW RUDE LEAVE MY FACE OUT OF THIS

[personal profile] nerdeology 2016-07-04 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah--

Mikleo catches that one, and it shuts him up for a long moment. So... that's it. He probably shouldn't be surprised, but to hear it said aloud is at least a confirmation. And it helps him understand, even a little, where to go from here.

He takes in a long, deep inhale. Exhale. One more. It's shaky, tiny ripples in the water around him, but he tries to quell them. This is important.]


Did Sorey tell you... what happened, the morning after?
sylphystia: (♢ adrenaline to rewire my mind)

[personal profile] sylphystia 2016-07-04 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dezel feels the little tremble in the water, but he wisely doesn't mention it. There is a certain stillness between them, heavy in the air too. It feels different than before.

And then it comes.]


... No. [He frowns, though it's honestly his usual expression, and glances in Mikleo's direction.] But I didn't ask.

[Didn't want to rub salt in the wound.]
nerdeology: (i hope you're proud of yourself)

[personal profile] nerdeology 2016-07-05 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't think so.

[Sorey's a forward thinker, always has been- dwelling overmuch on bad experiences isn't good for him. Recognize mistakes, learn from them, move on with a smile. That's his way.

Mikleo doesn't know if it's good or bad, but he's always considered it his duty to take care of that fragility. If that means weaving around his own feelings and dealing with those problems for him? So be it. He's strong enough for that, at least.]


We mentioned it before- how we were deciding what to do next, when Zaveid decided to join up. Sorey couldn't focus on anything. The reason was obvious... him joining made it hit home again that we'd lost someone.

[He leans back, closing his eyes briefly. He hadn't even noticed, and he can't help regretting that- he'd been so focused on working through their plans that he'd completely missed how distracted Sorey had been until Lailah called him. Rose saw it, though. It'd never been more obvious how much he'd needed a squire - a human. There were some things even a lifelong seraph friend couldn't do.]

Rose... she told us what you said. Probably word for word, without even hesitating. She told us how she was going to try her best, because she'd said that to you, too. She had her own regrets- that she hadn't noticed how you felt, that she hadn't talked with you more. She... was crying. She cried because she lost you.

[He glances over at Dezel, lips tightly pursed. He doubts it's a pleasant thing to hear, but he needs to hear it.]

You were important. You are important. Please don't say things like that.
sylphystia: (♢ you're the wildest wind)

[personal profile] sylphystia 2016-07-05 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[So Zaveid replaced him just like that, huh. He wants to ask about that. Wants to know more about why Zaveid could possibly take an interest in Sorey and his group, aside from the obvious, but Mikleo is still going. Dezel's trepidation can wait, and so can his complex, but there's no denying the little voice in the back of his head when it says you are replaceable.

Rose did pass on the message. That's... that's something, but to hear that she cried-- cried over him--

If his expression is a bit anguished, it's not Mikleo's imagination. He turns away sharply and presses a hand to his forehead, obviously wishing for his hat right now.]


... ah, hell.

[He can't really say anything else. He wants to abdicate fiercely, but instead he just stays there, huddled against the wall. Dezel lets out a breath through his teeth before speaking.]

I don't get it. All I ever did was give you trouble. That's all I do-- that's what I am.
nerdeology: (i wouldn't threaten a soul)

[personal profile] nerdeology 2016-07-05 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You're the only one who thinks like that. The real truth is, there's a lot we couldn't have done without you. You're our ally, our friend. You watched our backs in battle as much as we did yours.

And on top of that, you didn't just use Rose for your own gain- you protected her too, didn't you? You supported her for a long time. Without you, she might not have been able to become Sorey's squire. We owe a lot to you, Dezel.

[He's made mistakes. His behaviour was deplorable. Some of the decisions he'd made are ones Mikleo could never agree with.

But he's a historian, and he's better at focusing on the truth than on feelings or beliefs. The reality is, Dezel's presence helped a lot more than it hurt.]
Edited 2016-07-05 22:23 (UTC)
sylphystia: (♢ but i'm a human)

[personal profile] sylphystia 2016-07-08 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dezel's silence is very telling. He did protect Rose. Revenge was important, but so was she; it was partially for her sake, as much as Lafarga's. He was never able to articulate that. Not really. He just can't get over how the awful things he did were apparently okay.

-- No, some things are unforgivable. Getting Rose hurt? That's unforgivable. And certainly some other things, too. But Mikleo and the others are willing to accept him in spite of that, in spite of those things, because he's one of them.

It's a lot to take in.]


... You don't owe me anything. You guys didn't give up after Pendrago, and that's all I asked.

[His hand slips back into the water.]

But if you really don't mind keeping me around... I guess I can stay.
nerdeology: (but you're not alone)

[personal profile] nerdeology 2016-07-09 05:55 am (UTC)(link)
[It's honestly a relief, hearing him relent even a little bit. It's worrisome to hear Dezel talk like that, and he doesn't want Sorey to hear about it. He'd fret far more than Mikleo would. And speaking of-]

Hah. Even if you left, Sorey would definitely drag you back, even if it was kicking and screaming.

[The mental image of Dezel doing that is entertaining, to say the least, albeit inaccurate. The sentiment itself is real. Sorey would chase any of his seraphim no matter what it took, especially if they left for such an absurdly wrong reason as unworthiness.]

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