Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

[notzubats]

Who: Everybody! It's a planet mingle!
Broadcast: If You want!
Action: On the Holding Hands plant!
When: From June 23 until whenever we need a new mingle.

[At long last, the fleet has arrived to a new planet. This means it's time for a mingle guys! Get in! ]

Comments

[mucked]

[ it can be overwhelming -- to feel so much, and take on so many feelings that aren't your own. when she holds hands with steve, on this planet, they find themselves so in tune that it's a peaceful experience. memories and sentiments flow freely between them. but attempting it now, with winn, is an entirely different beast. she tastes his admiration. and his excitement. but then, at the end, she gets a hint of that self-criticism. it hits her fast and brief. she breathes in; she lets go. ]

Scientists and soldiers often disagree. It's the SSR's job to bridge that gap, at times. Captain America was the finest bridge we ever built.

[ it's a little simplistic. peggy would be the first to say they didn't build captain america. steve was a hero well before the project. but the general gist persists. ]

[winn]

[ he hasn't really tried it with too many people, precisely because he can't seem to do it without sharing the parts of himself he wishes didn't even exist. he's glad she retracts her hand before he has to do it, and lets his own drop back in his lap. ]

Yeah, good job there. How long'd that take?

[ the transformation is incredible, it doesn't look like the same guy at all. ]

[mucked]

The procedure itself was mere minutes. But the serum took years to perfect -- [ and it wasn't without its failed attempts. ] I could show you that, as well. I was present for it. But...

It might be a little overwhelming. [ she remembers her emotions in the moment. the fear, the shouting. winn didn't need that sort of chaos, perhaps. ]

[winn]

If you don't mind -- I'd like to see it.

[ his curiosity often gets the better of him, and she did offer, she doesn't seem like the sort of person who'd offer things she wasn't ready to handle. a part of him wonders if maybe he should refuse on steve's behalf but hey - she knows the guy a lot better than he probably ever will. if she thinks it's ok, who is he to argue? mere minutes to go from that kid to the man he knows now? how can he pass up the chance to see that! ]

[mucked]

[ -- in effect, it isn't only steve's story. it's her own; it's erskine's; it's the whole bloody nation's. and there had been an audience (of sorts) on the day -- but mostly, she's hinging her actions on the fact that steve himself must have told winn about being ninety pounds before the procedure. and if steve told him that much, she could easy guess as to why.

so peggy takes winn's hand a second time. her grip is firm. and her mind is an iron-clad vault, where she can easily access one memory or another. mental discipline makes it easy to share precisely what she wants to share. and it all starts with erskine's voice, tinny and patient over a speaker-system.

the memory is from her perspective. some of the quieter moments are lost -- and all of it is overwritten with a nervous anxiety. a worry, an affection, and a possessiveness for the man beneath the injections. it isn't quite love, but it's near to it. a dry mouth and a restless trigger finger. winn feels her faith in howard stark shaken only by the screams heard from inside the vita-ray chamber -- and then her own voice, shouting shut it down! hands sweaty as she grips the rail and watches the procedure continue.

but she knows precisely when to let go -- just after the pod opens, and the transformation is revealed. winn didn't need to experience what happened next, when she rushed down the stairs to survey erskine's handiwork. ]

[winn]

[ knowing how it all ends - he's met steve, after all - makes the experience a little easier, but even so her word choice was spot on. her feelings are a little overwhelming, steve's screams a lot overwhelming. he tries to imagine what his body is going through inside that pod, and he just can't believe he survived it. he knows how it all ends, and yet the scientist in him still expects that pod to open to reveal a hideously disfigured corpse.

he's fascinated, he's dying to understand how they managed to make it work, but it's not knowing that she'll never answer that question that keeps him from posing it (though he's about a million percent sure that he knows that for a fact) - it's the fear that they are being watched and an invention this powerful should never fall into the hands of the wrong people.

though, since time travel is clearly not a problem for the atroma they should theoretically have no problem reaching back and plucking that serum right up. but if for some reason they can't, there's no reason to help them along.

his heart races when she lets go, and his breath is labored - like he's just run a marathon. for a few moments, he's completely speechless. ]

Wow.

[ what is there even to say. ]

[mucked]

[ she draws back, and shakes her hands. like dispelling electricity. somewhere in the murk of that transmission, she understood his understanding: the serum is something beyond classified, something so secret that its properties can't be revealed. she herself doesn't know the make-up, but had known enough to fight against her own agency in order to safeguard the last sample of captain america's blood.

peggy cuffs at her cheeks. she's not crying; she so rarely cries. but her face feels hot, and her heart is beating too fast. ]

It must have sounded like such a bold claim when he made it. [ her voice is soft. thoughtful. ] But rest assured, the story is true. Steve was the only real super-soldier made from the serum -- and perhaps it's just as well. I can't imagine the dangers inherent in recreating the procedure.

[winn]

[ looking at her, he can't help but feel guilty: he should have refused it anyway. he can't imagine what madness would ever make him offer to share what seeing kara under the black mercy was like with anyone, but if that were to happen in some bizarre alternate reality - he'd want to be turned down. some things, you just don't need to relive. ]

I can't imagine a whole lot of people would handle it half as well, either.

[ steve seems to be the sort of person who makes bold claims sound like he's under-playing it, usually. winn's had a hard time accepting how weak he used to be because he just looks so...heroic. inside and out. ]

[mucked]

It's true. I've not met many so good-hearted as him. [ many. so, that is to say, she's met some. and some of those have been met here, within the fleet. in this way, she intimates that, although captain rogers is an impressive specimen of humanity inside and out, he is no paragon. he can be paralleled, perhaps, in one way or another. ]

[winn]

[ continued here ]