driftfleet | Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

[It's pretty wrong, but that's how Sorey gets sometimes, so Mikleo can at least forgive him for it. That doesn't mean he has to be gentle about reminding him, though.]

I'm not sure about a spare room on the Huntress, but the Iskaulit has plenty, doesn't it? And there's already a garden. We could set something up nearby. Give that ship something of a 'nature' hall.

[If it's possible, that'd be fantastic, but...]

Do you think it would help you?

[What's water not connected to its source, to its home? Would it be any different from filling something from the ships reservoirs? Mikleo can make his own water but it's clearly not the same as a planet's oceans, lakes and rivers. Sorey can feel it between them, in that strained thread that he's working hard to strengthen so that they don't fall out of armatization. He doesn't understand but god, he wants to, he wants to. He's just. Floundering because of it.]

If it would help, I'll do whatever you need.

[Mikleo's response is a thoughtful hum at first. He nudges his control back to the forefront enough to carry them further along the ocean floor, reaching their hands out to cup around a shell, gently lifting it out of the sand. It bubbles, obviously containing some kind of sea creature, though it stays safe within the shell while it's held.]

Sorey... notice that? Can you feel what's inside?

[He closes their eyes, blocking off that sense to allow all others to become stronger, like what Sorey used to do in order to let Alisha hear the seraphim. He can feel the same pulse of the water echoed in the shell they're holding- there's water there, too. Inside the shell. Inside the creature living there. It beats like a heart, like a soul, as Sorey had suggested earlier. It thrums quietly but perfectly in tandem with its surroundings, like it belongs there.]

It didn't feel like this when we practiced on the ship. You know why, right?

[Sorey closes his eyes and listens, really listens. He can feel it; the pulse of water (life) flowing around them, through their shared body, through the shell and the creature inside and he knows that the pulse doesn't stop at the edges of the ocean.]

Because there's nothing to connect to up there? [Sorey nudges the suggestion forward and together they put the shell back on the sand, watch it float-scurry away through the water. Even as it disappears into the murk and dark, Sorey can still feel it, can feel it through Mikleo.]

Yeah.

[Mikleo shifts his consciousness to the background once more, so Sorey can feel the water more deeply- through the shared body, and through his control of it. You learn better when you're doing things directly, after all.]

The difference isn't the water itself, it's what's in the water. There's life here. We're not flesh and blood the way humans are- we're born of mana. Mana is life. If there's no mana around, it doesn't hurt us, exactly, but... I guess it's kind of like feeling hungry for humans. When your body needs something in order to grow.

[His voice is a little uncertain; he's never felt hungry, not really, so he's not sure if the comparison lines up. But it's the closest thing he can imagine.]

[Not for the first time, Sorey wonders why Gramps bothered to change an entire village of seraphim for the sake of one human. He introduced human concepts, instructed their family in human rearing methods- heck, Sorey didn't even know Mikleo didn't need to eat until they left the village (though he had always suspected it wasn't as important for seraphim since he was always the only one complaining about hunger).]

Humans can die of hunger, though. [Sorey slips their fingers into the sand again, kicking up clouds of it, grains sparkling in the light of their paired glow.] If seraphim don't grow because they don't have mana, isn't that like denying your true self? Isn't that still dangerous?

[He wants to deny that - Sorey's worried about enough as it is - but the armatus makes it harder to be false, even when trying to reassure someone.]

...I don't know. I wish I did- I've never lived without nature before coming here.

[This "show" or whatever... would they even risk letting one of their captives die? Or would that just increase the interest of whatever sick audience they've gathered? He doesn't like thinking about it.]

I will say this: it doesn't feel like it's actively hurting me. I'm not sick or getting weaker. [Except for that one time, but that was different- there was mana, and it was poisonous. Not all of nature is good for them, it seems.] Still, it... wouldn't hurt to be preemptive. Even if it isn't dangerous, it might at least be more comfortable.

So do you think we should get some of the animals, too? And some of the plant life? How would we even keep that alive on a ship in space? [They've definitely got a lot of research to do if they plan on making an entire ecosystem. Still, Sorey will ask as many people and read as many books as he needs to if it means making things just a little more comfortable for Mikleo. He doesn't even know where to begin fixing the lack of wind on the ships for Zaveid and Dezel, but he can at least start here.]

[Mikleo glances at their surroundings, soaking in the sights; there's hundreds of different species around them, fish swimming contentedly wherever they please, various plants and coral drifting in the underwater current, shelled creatures crawling over the sand. It's beautifully natural, and he can't help the wave of unease that passes through him at the thought of disrupting it.]

I don't want to take animals away from this. This is where they belong, and I'm not looking for pets just to make me feel better.

[Plants care a whole lot less where they are as long as they can live and be healthy. What if they took an animal or a fish on the ship and they ended up miserable and lonely? He'd feel terrible.]

I'm sure we can ask around- see if there are aquatic plants that are sturdy enough to survive elsewhere.

[Sorey's already agreeing with Mikleo before he even finishes the sentence. Plants, sure, but removing animals from this seems cruel. People might have fish tanks and things like that, but to take something from its home just for their own benefit? That sounds like exactly what the Atroma did.]

Mmm. I think I saw something in town about specialists concerning the local flora and fauna. They might know how we can build a proper ecosystem with just a small tank.

I'm sure we'll figure something out. We have time for it.

[Assuming he can drag himself away from the ocean long enough to get anything accomplished, that is. But this is important- to both of them, now.]

So I don't want to hear anything more about me staying behind, got it?

Yessir. [And Sorey takes the opportunity to wrap himself around Mikleo, a second living, breathing shroud around them, beating just as soundly as the ocean that threatens to crush them with its power. He engulfs Mikleo and allows himself to be engulfed and pushes forward, as hard as he can, his most sincerest apology.

It's not as if I want to be without you.

Sorey wraps their arms around him quietly as they float just above the ocean floor, life skimming around them, investigating and flitting away just as quickly.

I'm so sorry.

He closes his eyes and it's easier that way to listen, to the worldly sounds muffled by volume and bubbles, to the spiritual noise and song of a world unspoiled and lovingly cherished. What their world could be. What it should be.

Please forgive me.]

[Mikleo lets himself soak it in, waves of relief and contentment passing through their connected souls. The ocean helps a great deal, easing much of the tension he's felt for months and months since arriving in the fleet. It used to come and go in waves - like the tide itself - and the poison planet had peaked as frighteningly as a tsunami. Only now is he finally venturing out of that dim misery, back into the light where he belongs. Being here, he feels complete, the estranged and distant parts of himself coming together as one at last.

The ocean. The life they've found here. The mana that thrums from the water and through his veins like blood, seeping into his body and filling in the crevices emptied over time with no source with which to replenish themselves.

I'm not mad. Not anymore.

It's not just the water, though. It's never been just the water with him. He doesn't know the circumstances of their birth, but they were found together at the beginning, their lives inextricably bound as one. Never separated for long since then, no matter what the world throws at them, no matter the limitations of their species, no matter how they might bicker and disagree in ways that hurt them and make them falter sometimes.

I go where you go, always.

It's why he did anything and everything to remain Sorey's equal, to be a step behind or a step above at all times. It's why he left Elysia without a second thought the night Sorey left. It's why he offered himself as a sub lord the moment his existence became irrelevant without that power. He's not right, he's not whole, without his other half by his side.

There's nothing to forgive.]

[There's still something tense there; like a held breath or a teetering of balance but it's something that they can with through with time. The Shepherd's journey has both reforged and reinforced their relationship so many times, Sorey isn't even entirely sure he'd recognize them if he went back in time to see how they used to be.

The peacefulness of the deep helps a little; Sorey greedily sinks into Mikleo's senses, his kinship with his element suffusing Sorey's own heart with a tranquility he hasn't known since leaving Elysia.]

We don't do this enough, [Sorey murmurs between them, rolling lazily onto their back and drifting, their hair curling in the water, hand twitching as tiny fish nibble their fingertips.]

[For the first time since the conversation grew serious, Mikleo smiles, allowing the sensation - and the feelings attached - pass to Sorey, tugging gently at their shared lips.]

There's an easy way to fix that, you know.

[All either of them has to do is ask, after all. And he's not opposed in the slightest. If this is how it feels to armatize outside of combat, if experiencing this with Sorey right there with him is the reward for sharing his power... what reason do they have not to?]

[Sorey smiles with him, letting the ocean dictate where they drift.]

Too bad we can't be armatized all the time.

[There's a pause as Mikleo takes in those words, trying to decipher the degree of seriousness with which they were spoken. It doesn't really feel like something Sorey would joke about, but he doubts that it's a good concept to take seriously, either. What would that be like? Wouldn't they be sacrificing a lot? They'd have each other, yes, but for Sorey, would that really be enough?]

All the time?

[He's not upset, exactly, just... surprised. He loves being with Sorey- he always has. Like this, or just in his company as usual, it's never mattered to him. And sure, the armatus offers the sort of closeness that they hadn't dreamed possibly before leaving Elysia, but at the same time, what they share with each other becomes less of a choice and more an enforced state of being. His dark thoughts on the poisoned planet, Sorey's worries about the health of the seraphim... things he'd have liked to be shared when the time was right, when they were ready, not when emotions and tensions were already high. It feels good to be like this, but sometimes it isn't fair, either.

It's... probably not possible, so maybe he's overthinking it. Even so.]

...You'd miss the others too much, I think.

[Sorey can feel Mikleo really mulling it over, and that just makes him smile wider. Leave it to Mikleo to read too much into Sorey wanting to spend more time with him. Nerd.

Then again, he does have a point. Sorey reaches up to touch a huge sea bass as it lazily drifts by, his hand passing over its flank without hardly a twitch from it.]

That's true. There's something different about armatizing with everybody. Not just with the elements, or the personalities either. It's...interesting.

[Mikleo hums a response, an edge of curiosity entering his thoughts as he replies, legs kicking to seek out a different sort of fish. There are so many to look at this far down- so many fascinating colours and shapes, many of them drawn to the illuminated form of the armatus.]

You know... that's one advantage you have over us. We're connected more closely to our element, yes, but you have a chance to experience all of them. I'll never know what earth, wind, or fire feels like to the others.

[He's not upset by it - he loves water, always has, and he's content with what he is. But he's witnessed the strengths and weaknesses of each element, and he can't help wondering what it must be like to experience it firsthand.]

And we don't know what it's like to be human, either.

[And that, he does envy- if only because it's part of Sorey that he'll never truly understand.]

Edited (barfs, having to edit on recaptcha logs) 2016-09-01 03:46 (UTC)

[Sorey doesn't hide his surprise at that, at Mikleo being envious of what it feels like to be human. No one in Elysia had ever been anything but loving and accepting of him, but...well, Gramps made it clear what he thought of humans as a whole. That a seraph would want to know what it's like to be human, even his best friend, is. Well, strange.

He surrenders control to Mikleo easily, watching the ocean life drift past, some fishes inspecting them curiously, crustaceans scuttling along the ground beneath them after their trailing ribbons and hair.]

I don't really know what it's like to be human either, [Sorey points out matter-of-factly.] I mean, I know what it's like to be hungry. Or sleepy. Those sorts of things. But I'm still learning about humanity, just like you.

That's different, though. Learning can only tell you so much.

[He stretches their hands out, sweeping them gently through a school of tiny clustered fish; they scatter like an explosion of fireworks then come together again, weaving in and out of their fingers, cautious and curious as only fish can be.]

I could read countless information about these fish, study them for centuries, understand every fact about every aspect of their life cycle, and I'd still be no closer to truly knowing what it's like to be one.

[And that's fine- he lets that be known as best as he can, a ripple of calm passing through their connection. He doesn't mind. Sometimes barriers are just there to remind you that people who are different can still be together. It's what they've always believed, isn't it? It's what they've dreamed about. Humans, seraphim- fundamentally different, yet still able to coexist.

Sometimes it's okay to not know, as long as you treat that barrier like a window instead of a wall.]

[Mikleo always knows just what to say.

Whenever Sorey gets too wrapped up in his head or his heart, Mikleo's there with something wise or insightful to drag Sorey back out to see how the world really is. Sorey might take that for granted, he thinks; he allows his head to stay in the clouds because he trusts Mikleo to be there to anchor him firmly to the earth below. Maybe he shouldn't rely so hard on Mikleo to be his voice of reason. He's got his own troubles, after all.]

...so does that mean I'm like a fish to you?

[...And Sorey always knows just what to say to completely destroy any semblance of seriousness.

Well, it's not unwelcome, but Mikleo scoffs, the noise almost a chuckle in their shared mind.]

First I'm a frog, and now you're a fish... we might be taking these comparisons a little too far.

[Has enough time passed since that fight for him to tease about it? Because he is doing that.]

You've also called me a pig and a horse. I think maybe you have a fixation.

[Yeah, it's been long enough. It's still a sore spot for them both, but humor helps. It helps that Mikleo wants to be past it as much as Sorey does.]

Is it weird? Animals are pleasant to be around. Most of them are gentle and quiet, they're not greedy, and they're hard workers without complaint. It's a compliment.

[Also sometimes you smell like a wet animal, so. There is that.]

Let's all hold hands and sing Kumbaya

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