[text] your blue walls get in the way of these facts

[interstices]

Who: Asuka Shikinami Langley
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Handholding planet, if you want it.
When: 7/27

[It's not like her to post much, and it's not like her to post with text at all, unless it's as a response to someone else. But if there's one thing Asuka's confident in, it's that people tend to own up to a hell of a lot more on the network than they ever do in person, especially when they're typing it up. Something about the distance. Even Katsuragi always sounded far more imposing over email than in person, except for the last couple years.]

[Plus, she's curious. All those pilgrimages that it seemed as if the whole Fleet had made had to have earned some useful tidbits. Asuka's poor at cloaking her motivations in the best of times, so she barely bothers.]

If we stay here much longer, I'm learning to swim.

What did you get from the tree? Even if it's something crappy like the promo stuff we get sometimes, I still want to know.

Comments

[interstices]

No, that's all right. Don't worry about it.

[astrobleme]

If you're sure.

[...]

You should stop by later - I want to see what you get.

[interstices]

I will.

You better show me, too.

[astrobleme]

Yeah.

[And, later on, when Asuka arrives outside his room at the inn, Shinji opens the door before she has a chance to knock. He's standing there with a decent case of bedhead and the usual in sleepwear (blue T-shirt, black shorts, no socks). Suffice it to say, he's been spending some time under the covers.]

Hi, [he says, already looking around for what she got from the gift tree.]

[interstices]

Hi.

[She looks just a little startled, squeezing something under her arm just a bit tighter. He's been laying around-- no work today, which is why she even made the trek-- and she's almost envious of how casual he looks right now. Instead of getting something useful or semi-sentient, well... there's a puppet-like doll with its head peeking out under her arm.]

[Sort of shyly, sort of defensively--] I got my doll back.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji's eyebrows lift slightly in response, but there's nothing to suggest he's scornful. In fact...] Come in, [he says, then steps back to allow Asuka inside his room. It's a mostly clean and well-kept space, other than that pile of sewing supplies sitting in front of his bed. His gift, whatever it is, isn't immediately obvious.]

Uhm, can I see it?

[He's never had the chance to really look at Asuka's doll. The one time he went in Asuka's bedroom at Misato's apartment, searching for something he misplaced, Asuka raised holy hell about him going near her stuff. He might have caught glimpses of the doll in Asuka's locker at NERV, too. But that's all.]

[interstices]

[Asuka hesitates briefly, as if she's afraid he'll take it away if she does let him see it. He won't mock her for it, but he should. It was wrong at fourteen to have that doll, and it's doubly wrong now. Holding it like that, like a real baby. He doesn't know the doll's been her confidant and her most maligned possession both. She's thrown it against the wall of her bedroom at WILLE so many times.]

Okay.

[She tries not to, but she still holds it almost like she's cradling an infant when she offers it to him. There are scuffs on the plastic head and some of the cloth is raveling and ragged with the passage of time, but she's still watching Shinji as avidly as a private investigator.]

[astrobleme]

[Taking cues from Asuka, Shinji is exceedingly gentle when transferring the doll into his hands. He doesn't hold it quite like an infant--he's never held an infant before. (He wouldn't trust himself not to mess that up.) Still, he's doing his best to treat it with the respect it deserves.

It's small, though. Smaller than he thought it would be. In the arms of a little kid, this doll wouldn't seem so out of place, so fragile. Asuka carried around this doll and Shinji carried around his father's tape player...]

Does it have a name? [he asks, soft but curious, his thumb tracing along the doll's stubby arm. "ASUKA" is stitched on its weathered red dress, but he supposes that's a mark of ownership.] If I'm going to introduce myself, I might as well do it properly.

[interstices]

[Asuka's fingers twitch, tugging abruptly at the hem of her dress for just a moment too long for comfort.] No-- [tasting her own lie, tongue darting through the words] --no name. [He's looking at the name. She swallows heavily. He's really going to introduce himself to her? Like she's real? Shinji doesn't have to humor her like that. She's grown up enough not to squall if he calls her stupid for having that faded scrap of cloth and plastic--]

You don't have to. She knows you already.

[astrobleme]

[Again, Shinji's angling eyebrows convey his interest. There's more to this supposedly nameless doll than meets the eye, he's sure of it, but he doesn't have the right to probe for answers.]

That's how it is, huh? Mmm, but... you're kind of a biased source of info, so I don't know if that's true... [This doll probably knew about Asuka's budding childhood crush from day one. It's a nice, endearing mental image: Asuka confiding in her doll, claiming Shinji was the worst boy and also worth notice. It brings a small but warm smile to his face.

He lightly pinches the doll's arm between his thumb and forefinger. Then, with some aplomb, he mimics a mini-handshake.] It's nice to meet you face-to-face, [he says to the doll.] I'm glad you found your way back home.

[interstices]

[It takes a bit, but Asuka's face softens, the defensive expression in her visible eye melting away. He could really hurt her now, that's what she'd been afraid of, but he isn't. He hasn't even thought to hurt her. Shinji's so tender. She'd forgotten how tender he could be, how impossibly gentle. How could she have helped but fall for him? How could anyone?]

Yeah. I... [Stupidly, she almost says that the doll thinks it's nice to meet him, too. The doll that she knows doesn't have a mind or an opinion beyond what she's imbued her with. If Shinji thinks she's crazy for all that she hangs onto things she knows aren't real, she'll be crushed. Her face goes crimson, and then, finally, she forces out--] You said you'd show me what you got, too.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji studies the doll in silence for a few more seconds. Then, with the subtle dropping of his shoulders, he holds out the doll for Asuka to take back. He kind of feels like he was allowed to touch a holy relic that hasn't been seen in forever.]

Yeah, I did say that.

[But here's where his smile fades, and he seems pensive, a sunny day suddenly overcast, now that he's looking over his shoulder. He steps backward, then turns and retreats to the shuttered closet that's located near the bed. Honestly, he doesn't know how to explain this gift. It's mysterious and ominous in equal measure. But there's no way he's going to leave it behind on the planet, so...

He opens the closet door. Inside, arranged on hangers, there are a number of shirts, folded pants, a few belts, all the usual stuff--and propped up on the side, the shockingly crimson spear. It's about the height of the closet, ending in a gleaming green jewel at the center of a wide, tapered tip. All in all, a thoroughly alien creation.

He's bordering on irritated when he looks at Asuka.]

Do you know what this is?

[interstices]

The Spear of Cassius.

[She rattles it out, eyes wide. She never thought she'd see it again. Even less than she thought she'd see her doll. Blinking doesn't get rid of it, either.]

Why did you get that?

[astrobleme]

[It's the freakiest thing ever: Shinji simply recognized the Spear of Cassius without being told. Just one glance was enough to inform him. And it's why he has the sinking feeling that...]

I don't know.

[... this artifact belongs to him.]

I was wondering if you knew anything about it.

[interstices]

Not as much as he would.

[Asuka lifts her shoulders briefly, puzzlement and a little uneasiness written all over her face.]

I don't know what use it would have out here.

[astrobleme]

Yeah, Kaworu-kun... [Shinji licks his lips anxiously.] He told me that if we combined Cassius and Longinus, we would've been able to heal the whole world. Somehow. [...] Maybe we'll... [...] Maybe there's still a chance to do that, I don't know. [A rare, fleeting glimpse at optimism on his part. Even if it's delusional in make.]

[interstices]

You really think that's possible?

[It's so childish. Just the kind of thing they'd both want to hang onto. Maybe she's no better. She looks at the spear in silence for awhile, and then, quietly, she says--]

What did he get?

[astrobleme]

Asuka, I'm not ruling anything out at this point.

[Ayanami. It's a name that surfaces, unbidden, at the back of his mind. If there's one thing missing from this situation-- If there's one thing he wants most out of the chaos of the multiverse--

He's silent for a while, too.

Eventually:] Longinus. So we've got the matched set.

[interstices]

I don't understand.

[Is is this world they're supposed to save? But they're traveling all around the galaxy, so that doesn't even make sense. Were they given the relics just to torment them? But her doll's not a torment. There's more questions than answers, as usual, and Asuka clutches her doll a little harder on reflex.]

Are we going back? Back home? Is that what it means? [Nagisa had told her, awfully, about the repeats. She wouldn't reveal it to a soul, but right now, it feels like sludge in the back of her throat.]

[astrobleme]

I don't know.

[I don't understand. And, I don't know. Such an admission never fails to rankle Shinji's nerves, no different than walking through a gauntlet of thorny bushes. The spears themselves represent a huge question mark that he can't even begin to answer...

He closes the door to the closet. He doesn't want to look at Cassius anymore.]

I've thought about throwing it away, but... I should probably hold on to it. I guess. What do you think?

[interstices]

You wouldn't have gotten it if it didn't mean something.

[An artifact like that shouldn't be thrown away. No one's fighting over the spear and lance here, but that doesn't matter. They haven't lost their significance because of their travels through the galaxies.]

[But she isn't sure she wants to know what it does mean. If it's a sign they're leaving soon, or worse, that Shinji and Nagisa are leaving soon. She shoves the red hood of her doll's cape up over its head and doesn't say anything for a bit.]

I'm glad you showed me.

[astrobleme]

Mmm... So I'll hold on to it, then. Just in case. [Shinji doesn't sound particularly happy about that. A little morose. Resigned, maybe. He seems to have an intimate connection to Cassius--believe it or not--but he doesn't want to tell Asuka and have her freak out. The first time he picked up Cassius, his entire being surged with reckless energy; it was like an adrenaline rush through his soul. Very weird. But it really does belong to him.

With a soft sigh, he moves away from the closet, over to his bed. He sits down and then looks down at his sock-covered feet.

Haltingly:]

Want to sleep over?

[interstices]

Really?

[It's an awkward segue. Asuka's felt awkward this whole time, sure. Not going with him to the tree has sort of stuck in her side, even though it was out of no small amount of spite that she'd done it. Showing him her doll, being shown Cassius... it's a lot to take in.]

Yeah.

[astrobleme]

Really.

[To be perfectly honest, Shinji regrets how he didn't insist on accompanying Asuka to the tree. He wants to ask about the person she had to hold hands with--but he's afraid of the answer. It kind of makes him feel sick. And, maybe, he's feeling jealous. She shared her heart with somebody else...

He beckons her closer, then closer still. As soon as she's within range, he's uncharacteristically bold in reaching out and placing a hand on her hip. It isn't skin-on-skin contact, but it's better than separation. It's solid. Real.]

Hey, can I ask you something?

[interstices]

[Asuka looks just slightly startled when he puts his hand on her hip, but she doesn't pull away. It's not like Shinji at all. It's teetering towards-- maybe-- maybe-- possessiveness. She'd kind of like it if that's so. It's a bolster she needs after sharing her doll and being shown Cassius. It's a side to him she hasn't really seen.]

Yeah. Go ahead.