driftfleet | (no subject)

[That shuts him up.]

[ Charles surveys him coolly before he softens a little. ]

Yes. Your choice did allow that to happen. There's no denying it. But that doesn't make what we choose any less important. I chose not to blame those responsible. It's a choice I'm proud of.

There will always be choices you will look back in regret. But that shouldn't stop you from making them.

You are not a machine. You are a creature of autonomy. Embrace it, with its flaws.

[Well. And so Rhodey hadn't blamed him, or at least had said as much, which is as close to the same thing as it gets. But he still looks down, ashamed.]

And why shouldn't I stop making flawed choices? [His voice softens.] Why shouldn't I embrace what is machine?

You can, if you really want to.

[ After a pause. ] But I don't think you do.

[still very softly] No, I don't. How terrible is that? That I should prefer to keep my own individuality, at the cost of putting even more people at risk?

[ Gently. ]

At the end of the day, Vision, you have to be able to live with yourself. And that means being at peace with all parts of you, even the negative ones.

People will be at risk. With or without you. It's how you conduct yourself that matters. And you are just as important as anyone else.

[He's not at peace. That's the entire problem, and no doubt what Charles is getting at here.]

I know they will be at risk. And I know I can do something to help. My concern is when I become more of a hindrance.

[He falls silent again for a short moment.]

And you think it would be better if I brought this to someone who still thinks of me as a machine.

[ Charles always finds it vaguely ironic to hear that sentiment. "He thinks me this". Thoughts are rarely so organized or clear-cut. ]

That could happen at any time. To any one no less. I'm sure when it does, you'll realize and step back.

Do you mean Tony?

[Things the Vision would probably notice if he were an impartial observer of himself: making oversimplified statements about thoughts.]

I can only hope so.

[And he nods.]

Difficult for him not to, when he helped to create me.

[ Charles shrugs, like the asshole he is. ]

Then you had best make it clear to him.

[Charles, has anyone ever told you you're mean?]

If you insist.

[ He frowns. ]

Don't put this on me, Vision.

[That at least he can quirk an eyebrow at.]

Isn't that what you're saying, though?

It is what I am saying. But I'm not responsible for the choices you make.

You can change Tony's mind or you can leave things as they are.

[Right, like Tony's going to change his mind just because someone asks nicely. This can't possibly help anything...

...but Charles is much better at knowing how others will react than the Vision is. Especially human people.]

And to think, I was beginning to enjoy being on his good side.

I'm sure Tony is capable of some rational discourse.

But delivering bad news doesn't make you the sole bearer of it.

[It does when he's not dragging Wanda into it and as far as he knows Bucky doesn't even speak to the man. As for rational discourse, well, Tony's certainly capable of it, but he's also a veritable volcano of emotion. The Vision rubs his head.]

Very well. I suppose it won't make much difference in the long run, if they're all bound to isolate me regardless.

[ He can't help it. He rolls his eyes. ]

If that's how they behave, then perhaps they weren't much friends to begin with.

[The Vision actually rubs a temple at that.]

They are good people, but as Wrath would say, there is a great deal of "hurfdurf".

[ A little dry. ]

I can believe that. You've made some of my past experiences seem relatively tame.

That cannot possibly be a good thing.

[Still, he looks somewhat mollified.]

My apologies, but this is very difficult for me.

[NOT THAT CHARLES COULDN'T TELL.]

[ His lips twitch slightly. ]

It's not. But I find there's always a way to change the situation. My partner - Erik - was once my enemy. For lack of a better term. If we can reforge that, then surely you can too.

Being a hero also means undertaking great personal strides. It has nothing to do with powers or even how you use them. That'll never be enough.

Situations certainly can change how people think of one another.

[He shakes his head again, though this time to clear it rather than as a signal of disagreement. Charles is probably right, but where exactly does that leave him? He's had more decline than growth, it often seems.]

And if those strides are in the wrong direction, I turn into that which I was made to oppose, yes.

And they can continue changing. That doesn't mean they're set in stone.

Are you saying that because you think it'll happen? Or because you wish to run in circles so that you've given it enough thought?

[The Vision nods, even though he means exactly the opposite. Charles is apparently making it hard to keep his behaviors straight today.]

If I thought I were truly at risk I'd have myself shut down immediately, whatever it took. But I must remain aware of the possibility; it helps to keep me where I am.

Overthinking something is a weakness of mine, I'd agree.