driftfleet | (no subject)

[it's a fond memory, at least, even though it lead to something far less pleasant down the road. He remembers how nervous he had been, asking this beautiful girl such an odd question, and being prepared to get shut down immediately. He had been so enchanted by her and her simple compliment, though, and how nice she had been to him, that it really was the only thing that made him go for it in the first place.

Even when he had regrets about what happened, that wasn't one of them. Even if Erik had ruined the moment]

Well that's - a good thing, I think. [he huffs a little] At least he doesn't try to mess with us now.

[he'd give Erik the same treatment he gives Charles - which is being mature and throwing things at him]

Mmm, I'm not surprised. I wasn't too fond of the ones I had the chance to meet.

[ Thinking about how far they'd come is odd and strange, seeing how they'd stumbled into this relationship. It's something miraculous, and not something she'd ever have thought possible for them before she'd woken up here on the fleet... But here they were. Here they are. It warms her, and it makes her feel so good to think they've found a place together, even in the middle of all of this.

She's glad that they'd changed and grown together. She's glad that they've found one another. There aren't really any other words for it. ]

If he did I'd make him get lost. He only did it because he thought it was funny. [ Psst. And he'd commented on her mutation, but that sort of confidence boost was a story of years before. She doesn't need Erik for that anymore. ] He's grown up too.

[ Shaking her head, she sighs. ]

It's a good thing Charles broke away from them. They wouldn't have done anything good with his mutation.

If he did it now, he forgets that I can turn around and do the same thing to him and Charles. [fight immaturity with immaturity, even if he'd be risking seeing things he didn't want to see. Things he's already seen, unfortunately.

He makes a wry noise] He's grown up, but he's just as bad as the rest of us.

[he had proof.

But the thought of remaining with the CIA and what would have happened is a somewhat sobering thought. After everything in Cuba he'd left and taken his plans and notes on Cerebro with him, more because it would benefit Charles more than the government. But after everything he'd learned happened over the years . . . he's more and more glad that they didn't stay]

No, they wouldn't have. [he finally says] I'm glad I left to stay with him instead.

... That's true. He wouldn't dare risk it when he knows we know where he lives. [ It's strange to think that she and Hank can tease Charles and Erik, but it comes hand in hand with the knowledge that her brother is happy... And isn't that enough? It doesn't matter who he's wish, and the fact that it's Erik doesn't really get to her anymore. She's just glad he's different from the man she'd seen in Paris and Washington.

They're all comfortable enough to act a little silly, and isn't that good too? ]

We all have our moments, don't we?

[ The idea of them all staying with the CIA... It seems impossible. It seems impossible to her that Erik would have ever gone back to work with them, and even Charles realised that it wasn't viable for their little mutant community, or for the school Charles wanted. It wouldn't work with the US Government breathing down their neck.

Breathing out, she turns her head and smiles softly. ]

I'm glad you stayed with him too.

[if they didn't act silly every now and then, he thinks, or without some sense of humor, the world would find a way to crush them. He'd learned that quickly enough in Kyriakos, and it had helped when his memories had really started coming back. When he remembered deaths and fights and instead of dwelling on it he cracked jokes with teenaged girls who wouldn't let him mope, even if he wanted to]

Some more than others. [and that's directed at himself; he's the worst offender and he knows it.

He meets her smile with one of his own, and he can't help but shrug. Charles had needed him, even if he had never said it, and Hank knew he had nowhere else to go. Home, maybe, but he hadn't been there in years] Mm, so am I.

[he'd never regretted staying, not even after the school had closed and they'd spent the rest of those years miserable]

[ Raven has lived long enough alone and sad that she thinks she craves happiness and the desire to cling to the good and avoid the horrors; she had been afraid for so long that she would never feel anything like this again, she had been so worried that all the good in her had been stripped away, and now... Now she has a little more relief. Now she feels a little more content, and it makes her happier, especially when she can spend her time with Hank. ]

That's what makes them great moments, though, isn't it? [ Not that Raven minds; she likes Hank having his moments. It makes him who he is.

She knows that Charles had needed Hank, and that Hank had stepped up and taken the place of all the people that Charles had lost - Alex, Sean, herself, Erik... He'd had so much pressure on his shoulders and somehow he'd survived. Raven wishes she'd been there, but at the same time she knows it would never have worked. It wasn't right for any of them.

Softening, she smiles, nudging their noses together and wrapping her arms around his neck. ]

You're wonderful.

[Hank had felt similar, at one point; if everything that had happened was enough to crush Charles' hope, to drive him to drink and abuse the serum and basically turn his own home into some glorified prison that they both locked themselves up in, then he certainly saw no point into hanging onto his own hopes. He still remembers telling Logan - "There's no professor here" - and the heavy significance of it. How it technically hadn't been a lie.

In their world, it had only been months ago. He wonders if Logan knew just how much he had accomplished in his short trip to the past]

More or less. [he grins a little at her. They all have their moments.

He leans down so she can hug him a little better, blinking widely at what she says. Another compliment, and she gives him so many that he has no idea what to do any of them. And he certainly doesn't know how to accept them gracefully, if at all.

So this time, he just makes a vague noise, so she knows he heard her, and kisses her briefly]

[ Raven is used to Hank now, how he accepts compliments, how he allows her things and lets her take from him, and sometimes she thinks she ought to feel bad about it - about how much she lays at his feet, giving him compliments and her heart and all her confidence even as he feels like he doesn't deserve it. Raven wants him to understand how much he does deserve it, how much he should be praised and celebrated for all that he's done and everything that he is... But it's hard to put into words.

All she wants is to love him. To support him. It's strange, to want it all over again, and she hesitates each time the words tumble from her lips. ]

More or less. [ Raven shakes her head, drawing him closer and squeezing her arms around him, hands stroking through his hair. When she leans back she shifts so she can press her forehead against his chin, closing her eyes and smiling. ]

I spoke to Charles about the photos.

[compliments are still so hard to accept, even with how much he's been working on. Raven gives him so much and he feels like what he gives her in return pales in comparison. The planet had helped, it spoke for him when he couldn't find the words, but they were no longer there. It was back to floundering for responses he weren't sure were the right ones, and compliments he couldn't make himself accept.

But he was working on it. He was trying.

He sighs quietly and tightens his arms around her, but the pang of guilt is there and gone when she speaks up again. He makes a curious noise]

Yeah? What did he say?

I managed to convince him.

[ Which was more than Charles accepted straight away and she's playing it up, but, of course. She can't help herself, and she tilts her head up, looking at him even as she settles close to him, watching his face. It's easy to lose herself looking at him, looking at this wonderful, charming man she loves, and she knows that he can't accept it easily. So she'll accept it for the both of them.

Tilting back, she grins, nudging her nose against his jaw and pressing a kiss against the skin there. ]

We said we'd take, oh, about a thousand. And then we'd print some out for his locket, too.

[ Her gaze flicks up and she tries to manage her smile. ]

How does that sound?

You make it sound like you had to twist his arm.

[he can tell she's watching him and he pretends not to notice, even as he leans into her kiss. He's been noticing that more and more lately, the way she looks at him. It's . . . both hard to accept and something he cherishes, and despite that he'd never tell her to stop. Just like he doesn't stop her compliments.

He huffs out a laugh and kisses her forehead]

I have a feeling I don't have a say no matter how I answer that.

I am very good at getting my own way.

[ Raven leans into the kiss, tilting her head up, her arm around his body before she leans back, resting her forehead on his. It gives her the space to press little kisses against his mouth as she listens to him, trying to distract him a little, but then she shifts back so she can look at him when she speaks. It's only fair.

... And, again, he's too adorable. It makes her chest warm and her cheeks flush, and she's glad she's blue so he can't quite see it. ]

You could say no, if you really wanted to.

I may have noticed that.

[they're very lucky no one's walked past yet and broken up this little moment they've stolen, he thinks. And it certainly helps that Raven is a very good distraction, even if he has an ear out in case someone does happen by.

He makes a show of considering, before he grins, lopsided]

I could, but I don't think I want to.

[ Both of them are far too aware of their surroundings to be caught out, she thinks; they always are. Raven might trust the Blameless a little more than any other ship, but that doesn't mean she's completely blind to the fact that she's blue and, sometimes, a little bit naked. True, she's taken to wearing clothes so that she's not completely bare, but - there are some habits that are hard to break.

It's not like it matters in front of Hank anyway. ]

Are you sure? I'm going to take so many pictures.

[ She leans up, shifting to just... Cuddle into him happily. ]

Your camera will get full up.

[it doesn't matter to him, and - he pretty much forgets that she is, he's so used to it. Were she walking around in her "Raven" form naked, well, that would be an entirely story. And he certainly trusts their crew, too, but he knows that if they get caught - it'd be nothing but teasing. So, so much teasing.

Which - well, it could be a lot worse]

The only pictures I've taken are the ones I took on our date.

[he shrugs] As long as I'm allowed to print some out, you can fill it up.

[ Raven can handle a bit of teasing, but she knows it's not exactly the same for Hank - it's not something he's used to, especially not about a romantic relationship. She focusses on him instead, on leaning close and trying to hide just how happy she is - because everything feels like it's just fitting into place. Hank and Charles and photos, how she's going to try and convince Erik, her happiness, even the promises of the future.

It all just works. ]

Then we definitely need to take some more.

[ Not just together, but of other things, too. ]

We'll have to get an album. I promised Charles.

[she can try to hide how happy she is, but he can tell. The way she presses and leans closer, the tone of her voice - it's little things like that he's learned to pick up on, to figure out what kind of moods she's in. At this point, he'd happily put up with some uncomfortable teasing for her.

He makes a considering noise, and tugs her just close enough for him to rest his chin on the top of her head]

I'll have to ask Winn how he made his printer, then. I can't keep asking him to print things off for me.

[a quiet laugh] You promised, hm? We could make one. It might be easier than trying to find one.

[ Little things like this - it reminds her of all her wayward thoughts when she'd settled with Hank on the planet, how much they'd shared in such a brief time. She hadn't touched anyone as often as she'd touched him, and the things and emotions that had passed between them had been terrifying in their marvel... And she knows that she's not the only one who remembers as Hank rests his head atop hers, her arms moving to wrap around him, under his arms.

She's happy here, just like this, and she thinks he's more than aware. Hank knows her, and that's as comforting as it is terrifying - but it's not the same sort of 'knowing' that Charles thought he had. This is borne of an understanding that they both knew, and it soothes her worries as easily as they come. ]

We don't have to print them all out, and we can keep them on our devices for a long time, at least. That's the good thing.

[ Smiling, she squeezes him gently. ]

Maybe next time we stop we can get some things.

[they know each other, almost as well as they know themselves, and the only thing Hank finds terrifying about it all is that he can't hide what he normally does. That when something's bothering him, she'll notice and talk it out with him, rather than letting him shove it back like he's used to doing. While so far it hasn't been that bad, it's still something that will be an issue, sooner or later, knowing him and his unwillingness to focus on himself.

But that isn't an issue now, and he won't let it be. Not when she's comfortable and warm against him and he doesn't want to move]

That's true. Still, I'm going to ask - just in case.

[because maybe he wants to make an album, too]

Mm? What did you have in mind this time?

[ Raven knows that it's hard for Hank, coming out of his shell, but she wants to nudge and push, gently, wants to see him become a little more confident, to realise that no matter what he says or what he's feeling she's going to want to be there for him. He's stood at her side when she's said and done things that would likely have broken up other people, and he's repaired the broken parts of her heart with his soft words and gentle touches - why can't she do the same to him? Why can't she love him as brilliantly as he loves her?

It's not important right now, in this moment, but eventually Raven is going to want to take care of him just as much as he does her. All she can do is hope that he doesn't fight too much. ]

I'll go with you, if you want, or you can tell him it's all my fault.

[ What a cute boyfriend she has. ]

Things for the album, things for our room, things for us to take home...

[he doesn't mind that she's nudging him out of his shell - it's something he knows he needs, after spending so much time building up its defenses. It's when it comes to the other things, the things that leave him grasping at words and unable to respond that the lingering guilt he has keeps him from being able to accept it. It isn't a matter of her not loving him; he knows she does, as much as he loves her. But does he deserve it? No matter how many times he's apologized or she's forgiven him, it's still there, just enough that it still makes him question everything.

He's working on it. He wants there to be a day where it isn't an issue. But until then, he hopes she'll be as patient with him as she has been all this time]

You should come along - I think he'd like to meet you. [he grins] I won't tell him it's your fault, though. Honestly, I want to see how he made it.

[because he's a giant nerd]

So - the usual things we've been picking up.

[ They're both carrying the burdens of things that they should and shouldn't have done, and it's something they're going to have to deal with - together. That's the important part, Raven thinks; whatever happens, from this point on, they're facing it together, as a couple. They could dance around and avoid things and just pretend they're not going to struggle with certain things every now and then, but it seems silly and foolish when it comes down to it. The truth is that they're stronger together, and that's important to remember.

It helps when she can look at Hank and see him smile and feel at ease and comfortable. ]

He's going to be just like Cisco, isn't he?

[ Not that all her boyfriend's friends are going to be nerdy, but...

Shaking her head, she grins, cupping his cheeks. ]

We won't know until we get there.

[it certainly won't be easy, not when he's so used to keeping things to himself. Because other people always came first, or because ten years of habit was still so hard to break. Most of the time, he didn't realize he was doing it anyway. And it isn't until he's at his breaking point that it even registers that yes, maybe he should talk about the things that are bothering him. Should.

But even then, Raven had seen that and knew exactly what to do. So maybe it would work out]

They're very alike. [all three of them are frighteningly similar] In a good way.

[honestly, they're the only two who he would consider "nerdy", somehow he's managed other friends outside of that.

How he's managed friends at all still sort of amazes him]

You should make a list of things you actually want to try to find. Though I don't mind picking up whatever catches our eye, either.

[ At least Raven knows, now, that she can watch him; she knows how Hank acts, how he behaves, and she knows when to check on him and make sure he's doing okay as well. She knows that, sometimes, it's hard, and that means he needs a gentle push - and while she's not used to being gentle, she could do it for him. Raven wants to be there for Hank, wants to support him, to cherish him, and love him, and that's what she intends to do. No one's going to take it away from her, and she's already decided on that.

It would work because she had decided it would have to. No other option. ]

I'm sure you all get along disgustingly. It's probably a good thing you've all found each other.

[ So they can talk and have fun together, of course, not for any other reason.

Humming absently, she shrugs a shoulder. ]

Can't I just put you on my list, since you catch my eye?

[it's just as Charles had said a few months ago, "She knows you". And she's proven it time and again, as though ten years hadn't kept them apart. While he hadn't changed that much it was still significant enough, and yet it seemed as though she'd discovered all of those changes and how to deal with them, and he had to be amazed by it. He still couldn't believe that she loved him, still loved him, despite everything.

what she says gives him pause. It's strange, having friends in general, but having ones who weren't mutants and were into the same things he was - it was new. It'd all happened so quickly he hadn't really thought much about it, and now here he was, with a number of good friends, just like that]

Yeah . . . yeah, I think so. We work well together.

[he stares at her for a moment, biting his lip in an effort not to laugh]

You can't pick me up.

[is his entirely serious answer]