driftfleet | mk.05 (text)

Entry tags:

mk.05 (text)

Who: Kaworu Nagisa, anyone else!
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: his bunk, the Vanquish
When: this afternoon

Need advice for when one's body is trying to kill oneself

[Shipmates may notice how he hasn't left his bunk but a couple of times in the entirety of this past week. This means he's been of no use as an engineer, which is bad news considering this mysterious bug business. Even without that, he should at least be tending to the ship's overhead lights, which have been flickering on occasion... (The particularly astute might note that this seems to coincide with the muffled sounds of what could be... sneezes?)

But, alas, he is dying. He's pretty sure of it.]

(augment glitch = baby's first flu!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He's glad she can't see the bitter twist of his mouth—]

And? My dying for him obviously didn't make him happy.

You didn't expect it to. The point is you'd do something for him I wouldn't.

Tell me something.

[That's not the point, Kaworu thinks, the point is he was and is unhappy. His headache hadn't really left, but it's beginning to worsen again.]

What do you want to know?

[Recovery's hard. She feels like a snail without its shell, all slimy underbelly, all lousy and helpless. Right now, she shouldn't want to ask anything of him at all. He'll do what he wants no matter what she says.]

I want to know why you bother talking to me.

I know it's not all because of Shinji.

[It's a perfectly reasonable question. Even more so now, because those words coming from her make him wonder, as well, why he does it, if it's going to hurt him so badly—if it's going to make him confront and acknowledge things he wants to bury like countless Lilin bones. He doesn't want to think about this. Her meanness, and the way she doesn't like him, and how he's sure she'd be more willing than anyone to hit him...

He doesn't want to think about this.]

I'd stop talking to you if you asked me to.

I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you why.

I like the feeling it gives me.

What, are you a masochist?

Edited 2016-08-19 04:23 (UTC)

You think it's all a bad feeling?

Isn't it?

It isn't. There is something nice, as well.

Tell me.

[Oh, leave me alone, Kaworu thinks in his angst and his achy irritability, but he doesn't actually want her to leave him alone at all. Shinji is leaving him alone. Kaworu already can't bear that; he doesn't want it to happen all over again, not even from her. Besides...]

It's just

You remind me of someone who taught me a lot.

Who?

[Of course she wants to drag it out of him. Of course.]

The first person whose opinion ever mattered to me.

Shinji?

I remind you of Shinji?

Here and there.

How? We don't act anything alike!

He was a bit different. He acted differently. I did, too. We didn't get along.

So you don't even enjoy talking to me, you enjoy being reminded of him.

[Ah, she's so straightforward, it stings.]

It's difficult to be reminded of him, but it feels good, too.

I liked his personality. Your personality is similar to what his was, so I like it, too.

Orange and yellow aren't exactly the same, but they're both pleasant.

So I'm just a reject version to you? You're saying I'm not my own person, as far as you're concerned?

[God, she doesn't know why she's as upset by this as she is. She didn't-- doesn't-- like him. It shouldn't hurt her feelings to know what he thinks of her.]

[His head still hurts, and he'd much rather be sleeping, and...]

I can tell the difference between the two of you. I'm not delusional. I'm just saying that parts of you are reminiscent.

Fine.

Go get some rest.

Thank you for

Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

mk.05 (text)

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.

private.