god is this even ok

[stopbleeding]

Who: Zoro and multiple unfortunate souls
Broadcast: fLEETWIDE yeYEAH
Action: Marsiva
When: RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW LET'S GO

[Somehow, someway, the camera shows nothing. Or, at least, it seems like nothing. A plain trash receptacle on the Marsiva, gleaming faintly under fluorescent lights. Tediously, it stays fixed on the bin, time stretching slow until, finally, it moves. Jiggles a bit. Shakes. Thumps and clangs and-shouts? Shouts. Manly, growling barks that echo out into the open. Then, finally, it capsizes.

A man pops out. Or rather, clambers out. With the exception of a scowl and a growl, a light kick to the can, he seems nonplussed. Nonplussed and oblivious to the camera.] Finally made it out...

[He says it wistfully, as if it were a long journey. A bit of yellow clings to his anime-green hair. Part of a banana peel. He's oblivious to that too, squinting around the area, turning this way and that, before finally, the giant fucking space-window catches his eye.] Eh? What's this? The ocean?

[Standing before it, arms akimbo, he falls quiet. Enjoying the simple majesty of, er, the ocean.] Are those fish? [They're stars.] They're small. Like dandruff.

[Proud of his stunning metaphor, he watches the stars for a moment longer before spinning on his heel.] This isn't the ship. Did I make it to Fishman Island? Heh-[He grins and turns at the same time.] That'd make me first. Oi! Luffy, Shitty Cook! You hear that? I'm No. 1-eh? [His hands go to rest on his swords only to find... they're not there. This greatly disturbs him and, for a moment, he's left staring at the blank space before whirling around for something to yell at. His gaze fixes on the network station currently transmitting, glare boring right into the camera.] Oiiiii.

[Tilting his head back and grinning menacingly he strides forward, cracking his knuckles.] Mr. Robot. You want to tell me what you did with my swords? Oiiii, can't you speak? [He raps his knuckles against the screen, peering into the camera with a pout before backing up and shaking the thing. The camera rattles, rattles and-

The feed cuts out. Switches to a different view. It's across the room from him now, staring as Zoro gawks, horrified, at the network station broken off in his hands. Making a sound akin to a dying frog he slowly looks around him, places the network station back down, and runs.

The network station falls over.]

Comments

[stopbleeding]

-Ah. [He's gonna shout more but... where... did the trash can go.

Ah.

It's rolling away.] Shit!

[He's running after it again.]

[wilder]

[Oh man. This is now Kaneis's new favorite person in the fleet. He is thoroughly amused]

Man, I can't wait to see what ship you get.

[stopbleeding]

[It takes a couple minutes before Zoro comes back on, all goofy demeanor evaporated leaving nothing but a stern stare into the comm.]

I've already got a ship. A captain too. They should be here anytime.

[They had to be.]

[wilder]

Afraid I'm not so sure about that...not unless they got a spaceship with universe jumping capabilities.

[stopbleeding]

You're still going on about that crap? Give it up. We were going into the ocean, not into the sky. I think I'd notice the difference.

[Still, there's a niggling sensation that tells him it's the truth. He ignores it, disliking the implications that come along with it.]

[wilder]

[oh, and he just gives a little laugh, and a mock salute]

Alright, if you're so sure. Guess I can't pull the wool over your eyes.

[stopbleeding]

Yeah? What's that supposed to mean?

[It's an insult, he knows. His hands fall to his side again, as if hoping his swords had reappeared. They hadn't.] I should warn you, I'm not in the mood to play around. I don't need my swords to take you up on a fight.

[wilder]

Nothing, nothing~

But fine. I can leave you to figure things out on your own. You seem to be very capable, after all.

[stopbleeding]

Why, you little-[mmphlenufflesnat fINE HE WON'T SAY ANYTHING BAD. Frowning so hard at the camera.] Tell me what's going on.

[HE CAVES ALRIGHT.]

[wilder]

Oh, now you ask?

[Jeez!]

We're in space. Something called the Atroma nabs people to put onto spaceships. Apparently it's all filmed and showed on TV.

You're on the Marsiva right now- but eventually you'll get sorted onto a smaller ship.

[stopbleeding]

[Marsiva? What a shitty ship name.]

TV? Why the hell would anyone want to watch this? It's pissing me off. Hasn't anyone found a way off this hunk of crap?

[wilder]

I don't know, it's just what I've been told.

And no. Last I heard, no one has.

[stopbleeding]

So, what? You've all just sat here?

[Tch. He moves away from the camera, wandering off.] Screw this. I'm getting out.

[Stay on the line and you might hear something that sounds suspiciously like a strong punch against the wall.]

[wilder]

[....Sigh]

I wouldn't do that if I were you. If you breach that hull, you'd be lucky to survive a minute.

[stopbleeding]

I've heard that before. [He walks back on screen, knuckles bleeding.]

It won't break, anyway. Not like this. Maybe if I had something stronger.

[He thinks then spots a treadmill. Soon enough, he's hoisting it above his head.]

[wilder]

[Dear goddess]

And you're really planning to risk it? Even though there could be other people on that ship?

[stopbleeding]

And if I am? [He's acting tough. He'd save everyone.] Why should you care?

[wilder]

Well, you know- despite common belief, I have this pesky thing called humanity in me? And it makes it really hard to be okay with the idea of letting you endanger a bunch of people because you're too stupid to accept how space works.