god is this even ok

[stopbleeding]

Who: Zoro and multiple unfortunate souls
Broadcast: fLEETWIDE yeYEAH
Action: Marsiva
When: RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW LET'S GO

[Somehow, someway, the camera shows nothing. Or, at least, it seems like nothing. A plain trash receptacle on the Marsiva, gleaming faintly under fluorescent lights. Tediously, it stays fixed on the bin, time stretching slow until, finally, it moves. Jiggles a bit. Shakes. Thumps and clangs and-shouts? Shouts. Manly, growling barks that echo out into the open. Then, finally, it capsizes.

A man pops out. Or rather, clambers out. With the exception of a scowl and a growl, a light kick to the can, he seems nonplussed. Nonplussed and oblivious to the camera.] Finally made it out...

[He says it wistfully, as if it were a long journey. A bit of yellow clings to his anime-green hair. Part of a banana peel. He's oblivious to that too, squinting around the area, turning this way and that, before finally, the giant fucking space-window catches his eye.] Eh? What's this? The ocean?

[Standing before it, arms akimbo, he falls quiet. Enjoying the simple majesty of, er, the ocean.] Are those fish? [They're stars.] They're small. Like dandruff.

[Proud of his stunning metaphor, he watches the stars for a moment longer before spinning on his heel.] This isn't the ship. Did I make it to Fishman Island? Heh-[He grins and turns at the same time.] That'd make me first. Oi! Luffy, Shitty Cook! You hear that? I'm No. 1-eh? [His hands go to rest on his swords only to find... they're not there. This greatly disturbs him and, for a moment, he's left staring at the blank space before whirling around for something to yell at. His gaze fixes on the network station currently transmitting, glare boring right into the camera.] Oiiiii.

[Tilting his head back and grinning menacingly he strides forward, cracking his knuckles.] Mr. Robot. You want to tell me what you did with my swords? Oiiii, can't you speak? [He raps his knuckles against the screen, peering into the camera with a pout before backing up and shaking the thing. The camera rattles, rattles and-

The feed cuts out. Switches to a different view. It's across the room from him now, staring as Zoro gawks, horrified, at the network station broken off in his hands. Making a sound akin to a dying frog he slowly looks around him, places the network station back down, and runs.

The network station falls over.]

Comments

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[wilder]

[Watching all this and just....]

[Gonna start clapping now yep]

[stopbleeding]

[Clapping? Clapping sound? From where? Zoro pokes about the air, looking for what could be making the sound and then, finally, spots it. The little communicator he had thought was... a rock? A candy bar? Something dumb. It's clapping?

No, not clapping. Zoro peers closer. A video?]

A den den mushi? [But it's not snail shaped??] Why is it flat? [and wHY IS HE STILL CLAPPING? Aggravated, he looks back at the flat snail.] Would you cut that out?! I get it!

[No, he doesn't. Why clapping??] Tch. Why are you-Ah. [A realization. Zoro nods, rubbing at the bottom of his chin.] I see.

[A moment later, he's propped the camera up on something not important and begins clapping his hands back. Maybe bowing a bit. Clearly it's a greeting on this strange island.]

[wilder]

[Okay he was...not expecting this guy to clap back and start- bowing? He can't help but let out an amused noise in surprise- but he'll stop the clapping]

[Is he going to correct the fact that it wasn't a greeting? NAH. ]

Ha- What an entrance! I sure hope you won't have to pay for that camera.

[stopbleeding]

[Yeah. Did it right. He's so great. Mentally high-fiving himself, Zoro's pride slowly falls.]

Camera? [But. It. Wasn't. Snail-shaped??????? He's having nam flashbacks to just a few minutes prior, a horrified gaze lingering on the fallen "robot" across the room from him. Swallowing, he runs that last sentence through his head over and over, faster and faster, until it shortens to one, terrifying word.

Pay.

He stares down at his hands, trying his best not to sweat and failing.] ... I'm broke.

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[carreau]

Woooow, you really broke it~

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[stopbleeding]

[Ok, so one guy's seen him snap it but that doesn't mean this guy did. Maybe he can just lie a bit...] I didn't. It tripped and fell.

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[carreau]

Eh~? But I saw you...

[ u tried ]

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[ladiesss]

Oh my god...

[well, there's a teenage girl on one of the network panels. soft-spoken and kind of impressed?]

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[stopbleeding]

[Zoro frowns at the comment, unsure of what to make of it. Either way, he probably doesn't want it. Jabbing a finger at her, he strides over to the panel, bracing one arm against it like a Cool Guy.]

Oi, I'm serious about my swords. Do you know where they are? There should be three of them.

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[ladiesss]

[yeah, uh... real cool there, buddy. she seems unaffected.]

I haven't seen any swords around. They probably got confiscated by Atroma when you showed up.

video;

[aheroipray]

Down with this insufferable technology! I agree!

[ he's... not making a statement... ]

video;

[stopbleeding]

[He waves his hands at the camera.]

Oi, oi, I'm not saying anything like that! Nothing like that! Don't make me accountable! I don't want to be part of some rebellion.

video;

[aheroipray]

[ ... and now, disappointed. ]

Then there's no reason to be mucking about destroying things like a savage.

[hopefullyyours]

[Is this real life? Komaeda can only assume this guy is having some kind of psychotic break, or a seizure, or.... something.]

Those aren't- [D- dandruff] Those aren't fish. [He's really working to keep a straight face. He's not the best at first impressions (or second, or third, or...) but he's pretty sure that laughing outright at people isn't the best way to make friend.]

They're stars.

[stopbleeding]

What? [There's a slight sneer at his lip when he turns.] No, they're not. You can't see stars from the ocean.

[Looking back to the window.] Idiot. They're jellyfish or something.

[hopefullyyours]

.... How would people have navigated in the old days if they couldn't see stars from the ocean? [Komaeda is aware that people come from different worlds, by now, but he's really curious to find out how it could be possible to not see stars from the ocean.]

Haha, I can't protest much, but they're definitely stars and other sundry celestial bodies!

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[blindoptimism]

[oh wow.... She almost wonders if she should respond at all. Perhaps would it be kinder to pretend that never happened? Nah, but he seems really confused and she wants to help. So she clears her throat and waves over the feed]

Ah... hello?

[stopbleeding]

[Huh? Oh. It's a girl. He holds up a hand and waves back.] Hey. You stuck here too? You know where they keep the drinks?

[blindoptimism]

I'm afraid you may be disappointed. Water and soda are served on the ships, but you'll have to travel to a planet or way station to procure alcohol.

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[cabbagedetective]

[Well now, here was something entertaining to watch. Good timing too, Adachi was beginning to get bored. He snickers at Zoro's interpretation of deep space out the window, but he full on loses it when he sees Zoro's antics with the network station. When he pauses to catch his breath from all that laughing, he manages to get out a few words before starting his laughing all over again.]

Man, what an entrance...

[stopbleeding]

[He grunts, unamused.] I try.

[No, he doesn't. Stop talking about it. StOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT.] Why the hell were you watching, anyway?

[cabbagedetective]

Why? Because I was bored. [He says this very matter of fact. As if it's not even a question why.] Plus, you were making a fair amount of noise. It's kinda hard to ignore someone destroying things so thoroughly.

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[alwayscomeback]

...

Well, that was new and unusual.

[stopbleeding]

[Yes, he gets it. He's dumb. It's starting to get annoying.]

How was I supposed to know it was a TV?

[alwayscomeback]

I guess you wouldn't right off.

Anyway, you won't get your swords back, not right away, anyway.