lady katsa of the middluns · ᴡɪʟᴅᴄᴀᴛ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
survivra) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-08-11 11:01 am
survivra) wrote in driftfleet2016-08-11 11:01 am
Entry tags:
(001)
Who: katsa & you
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: marsiva hospitality deck
When: now
—think you can do this to me again after all this time, but you can take your blazing courts and shards and shove it up your—
[ There's an audible thud as Katsa kicks a cot in front of her, bumping the bed a few feet and skewing it sideways into one nearby. Her rather angry string of anger cuts through the faint tinkling of bland, simple music in the background.
She certainly doesn't look like someone who'd be suited for an adventure in space, dressed in ragtag leather and furs that look as though she's thrown them together herself from a variety of dead animals. She also doesn't seem to be aware that anyone might be watching her; or perhaps it's more than she doesn't particularly care, for she scrubs the back of her hand across her eyes and scowls through what is very obviously only a half-hearted attempt at holding back tears. ]
You don't need me here. You can dress this up all you like—I don't have to do this. Whatever's outside that window, I shouldn't be the only one who gets to see it.
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: marsiva hospitality deck
When: now
—think you can do this to me again after all this time, but you can take your blazing courts and shards and shove it up your—
[ There's an audible thud as Katsa kicks a cot in front of her, bumping the bed a few feet and skewing it sideways into one nearby. Her rather angry string of anger cuts through the faint tinkling of bland, simple music in the background.
She certainly doesn't look like someone who'd be suited for an adventure in space, dressed in ragtag leather and furs that look as though she's thrown them together herself from a variety of dead animals. She also doesn't seem to be aware that anyone might be watching her; or perhaps it's more than she doesn't particularly care, for she scrubs the back of her hand across her eyes and scowls through what is very obviously only a half-hearted attempt at holding back tears. ]
You don't need me here. You can dress this up all you like—I don't have to do this. Whatever's outside that window, I shouldn't be the only one who gets to see it.
video
No. Being born King Randa's niece did nothing for his hold over me and my Grace, and certainly not for my reputation. The majority of the Middluns still considers Gracelings to be as unnatural as ever. I imagine the Middluns will be the last to be comfortable with the notion of walking freely among the Graced, even once my cousin is king. [ And she part of the reason for it. ]
Still, there are people everywhere more accepting than others. It's changing, little by little. Perhaps one day things might change for your wizards.
video
But, that's neither here nor there. I think you'll find that, on the fleet, there are people with unusual abilities and talents aplenty. There are some days I feel practically mundane.
video
I hope you will be. No people should be treated as tools, with only the illusion of freedom.
[ She leans in a little closer to her communicator, as though her nearness with it will cause Felix to hear her better. ]
This is not the first time I've arrived in a place other than any of the known seven kingdoms, with people who could do all sorts of absurd and impossible things. I expect I'm to see men turning purple whenever I round a corner, or talking mice preparing my breakfast.
video
[He pauses, tilting his head in mild curiosity]
...where were you last?
video
A place called Allaidh Darach. The Drabwurld. [ Strange how pronouncing the curious language still comes easily to her nearly a decade later, though she cannot for the life of her truly remember how to speak it. ] Everything that breathed there was magical, and then some. There is no magic in my kingdoms, but even I could have used it there. I did use it there, a little. It was pure madness.
video
Madness? Why? Simply because of the existence of magic, or because of what happened there?
video
[ Katsa brings a hand over her heart, as though she'd feel the strange warmth that flared there every time she touched the power of the jewel, so long ago. She'd held fire once without it burning her and bent it to her will—and she almost laughs again at how ridiculous that sounds to anyone with sense. Her Grace protects her from plenty, but she's certain even she should have burned. ]
But both are true. I might I wonder if I'm not the mad fool, for the memory of it, if others weren't as raving as I am to remember the same. Well, it wouldn't have been the first time I'd simply lost my senses.
[ Again, she waves it off. What good would it do to dwell on things that happened so long in the past when she can do nothing about them now? No matter how much she regrets anything, she cannot change it. ]
What does it feel like for you? To use magic.
no subject
...It's hard to describe. Like breathing, in a way. It's simply part of me. Someone I know, not a wizard himself, likened it to a steam boiler. While crude, I couldn't entirely disagree with the metaphor because it captures the feeling. Without use, it's a power that builds. And like breathing, to stop doing so is to suffocate. [He breathes out a small laugh] Not that we'd literary explode or expire, but it is deeply uncomfortable.
But the actual process of channeling magic? It can be many things. Intoxicating. Exhilarating. Disorienting. Even painful. But more often it's not something I really notice.
no subject
It had felt good. And for all the times it had saved her life, perhaps it had been dangerous. ]
The way you speak of it, like breathing, even the boiler—it's not so different from a Grace.
[ She purses her lips for a moment, lost in thought. ]
I used to think magic unnatural. Or a cheat. Much like prescience, or mind-reading. But actually using it doesn't feel so unnatural a thing, does it?
no subject
A lot of people see magic the way you do, but I believe that, most of the time, there is nothing at all unnatural about magic. It is part of the world. It comes from it or is connected to it, and by extension, us. Not everyone can touch it, and because of that it's easy to dismiss.
Think of it like this...[He's moving into his teacher's voice again, but he can't help it]...is it a cheat for turtles to have shells? For fish to breathe water? For a wolf to follow the scent of prey? It's simply the way they are. They have things that set them apart. Allow them to survive.
no subject
She hasn't told him, and there's no way that he knows yet. Surely he can't. He simply chose the right words, and all while sounding so endearingly familiar. ]
No. I suppose when that turtle, or fish, or wolf, compares itself to others, it simply finds that it is better at those things that give them life. I imagine the fish doesn't understand why the wolf does not breathe underwater just as it does.
But it depends, I think, on how the wolf uses those things that make it a wolf. It is not a monster for tracking its prey and doing what it must to eat. But if it uses its claws or its teeth, which help it to hunt, to cause pain in its prey or even another wolf in the pack and finds pleasure in it, then that is unnatural.
My Grace, Lord Felix, is survival. Does your magic grant you the ability to say just the right things in its defense? If I even knew where you are, I'd likely thump you, for some sort of mind reading.
that was terribly on the nose and unconscious on my part I swear
Nothing of the sort, my lady. I was going to suggest a more technical metaphor, but I wasn't sure your travels had exposed you the more advanced science of other worlds. I don't understand it much myself, to be frank, so I chose something simpler. It merely seemed to fit.
[He laughs himself, though a touch sheepishly in response to the revelation] People are admittedly much more complicated than animals, even when we sometimes act like them...
[He shifts, glancing aside thoughfully] Survival. That's rather broad.
bahahaha i legitimately could not tell if you'd done that on purpose or not
[ Simpler, in all honestly, is the safer choice with Katsa. Not that she's stupid, but sometimes she just has such a straightforward view of things that she'd brush off anything more complicated. And it's worked out in Felix's favor in this case, at least. ]
Are you expecting me to explain it? Or merely commenting on the state of it?
[ He's not wrong, either way. ]
no subject
[He shrugged deeply, somewhat apologetic]
Can you explain it?
no subject
[ That's a strange question. No one had ever really asked if she could explain it. She'd only ever been expected to do so, and done her best with it.
Of course, the answer is that she can explain what she knows, but Graces are unusual things. ]
Truthfully, I didn't know the full extent of my Grace until I was eighteen. I thought it was something else. I'd never compared myself with others, really, so it didn't seem so strange. I still can't do anything so very special; I just do it better than others.
I don't suffer from cold and hunger and exhaustion like others do. I feel those things, but they don't bother me. I've never been sick in my entire life. I rarely bruise. Most nights I make myself sleep, order it, only because I know logically that I should. I'm never lost. I can always make a fire, no matter the weather. Physical things that limit other people don't matter so much to me—I know instinctively how to live and thrive in the wilderness.
[ She hesitates. ]
...And if I'm attacked, I can kill anyone. At the slightest threat to my survival.
My body simply wishes to survive, so it usually finds a way. But I'm not immortal. I'm only better at these things than others.
no subject
Very interesting. You said...the way I described magic reminded you of a Grace. Do you only feel it's presence when you use it? Have you always known it was there?
...am I asking too many questions? [He smiled crookedly]
no subject
I don't—feel my Grace. Do you feel yourself using a skill when you walk? Or ride a horse? Or hold a knife for your dinner? How do you think I misunderstood it for so long and thought my stamina or my skill with a fire were simply because I had more patience than others? Do you feel the presence of your lungs when you breathe? It's just the way of things. To use your own metaphor, think of a fish in water.
Perhaps it might be different for someone with a different sort of Grace. But a Graceling child's eyes settle only weeks, sometimes months after birth. I don't even know what colors my eyes used to be, they settled so soon. I've always known myself to be a Graceling. But I'd no clue as to its nature until I was eight, and even then did not know it for what it truly is for another ten years after that. Even though I had its help in everything I did for all that time.
[ She squints at him. ]
It's why I think you must have one, even if you don't know it. No Ungraced has eyes like yours.
no subject
[He still sounds vaguely skeptical about that fact, though some of the doubt is in part wondering if she might be right. No one yet has matched him in power on his own world, but the world was far larger than the small piece he'd seen]
Perhaps once you are settled into the fleet proper, we can discuss it more, and discover if there's any truth to your theory.
no subject
[ The possibility of a Grace—it could simply be wishful thinking. But wishful or not, it's familiar, and that's good enough for now. ]
I imagine I'll speak with you another time, then.
no subject