driftfleet

Entry tags:

i.

Who: Finwë and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Tourist
When: August 14th

[He's getting used to this and his crew mates have been more than helpful in assisting him with this new technology so the video is steady as he smiles, inclining his head as the rubies in his headdress reflecting the light around him brightly.]

Now that I've had the opportunity to acquaint myself with my new surroundings I believed it was time to greet those of you I don't share a ship with.

I am Finwë and it is a pleasure to join you all here among the stars. [No title, he assumes he forfeited that upon his death anyway.]

It seems I have been assigned the role of personnel support on my ship but any in need of a sympathetic ear or company are always welcome to come to me on the Tourist at any time.

Perhaps I could convince my grandson here to cook some treats for me to have on hand for any visitors, he always makes the best cakes.

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Are you? (He cannot meet that beloved gaze; he has no right.) Are you well...? Do you need anything? I could -

(Breathe. Breathing would be good.)

It is good to see you.

I am well. I only wish to see you.

[Something is terribly wrong, Findekáno hadn't told him anything and Finwe hadn't pressed given the fact he didn't want to ruin time with his grandson.

He saw the pain in Nelyafinwë and it hurt.]

I'm not certain that will comfort you. (And unless his Grandfather orders it, he will not willingly be the reason Finwë is upset.)

It's not about my comfort. I won't force you though, if you don't want to see me. I would not blame you.

[It broke his heart though but he knew that he had made many mistakes which hurt the entire family.]

Just know that I still love you, that I am always here if you need me.

No! (He winces at the volume of his voice.) It is not that; it is never that. I wish to see you very, very much.

(His heart aches - the thing should be dead by now.)

I'm coming.

I will wait for you then.

[And so he does wait where the shuttles dock, hands clasped in front of him. He hates seeing his grandsons in pain, he hates that it's his fault.

He failed them all, utterly.]

(Never will a word of blame pass Maedhros's lips nor will the thought enter his mind. His love for his grandfather is fierce and he has, simply put, missed him. Once the shuttle docks, he is climbing out as quickly as he can, scanning the area desperately.

As soon as he sees Finwë, he falls to his knees, head bowed.)

Nelyafinwë- [His heart was in his throat and when his grandson fell to his knees, Finwe knelt in front of him so he could wrap his arms around him.

His grandson had changed so much since he last saw him but he didn't ask why, he just wanted to provide what comfort and love that he could.]

(Inevitably, in the embrace, Finwë will likely notice a hand is missing. Maedhros does not hold back - the embrace is returned as best as he knows how. Tears burn his eyes and he shakes, though he does not make a sound.

At first.) You are as regal as I remembered.

[Finwe pulled back to gently touch the stump, tears in the corners of his eyes.

Morgoth. Anger burned in him but he wouldn't give into it now. Comforting his grandson was the most important thing. He hugged Maedhros tightly, stroking his hair.]

My only duty now is as your grandfather, Nelyafinwë.

(He flinches, but not out of distrust or pain. His arm is a reminder of so many horrible - and shameful - memories. It might seem childish, yet Maedhros fears losing Finwë's love because of his failures.)

I am not worthy of it. (His voice is hoarse, constrained.) You now hold a grandson who fell for Morgoth's tricks, made a reckless Oath, was unable to save his brothers and -

Took his own life. I am not worthy.

We all fell for his tricks, it doesn't make you weak or unworthy. Even I didn't see what he was until it was too late. [And for that failure it was his grandchildren who paid. He held Maedhros closer, tears slipping down his cheeks.

He couldn't speak for a moment as he gave a soft sob at his grandson's words. He couldn't begin to imagine what pain Maedhros must have been in to take his own life.]

It's not your fault. It never was, don't blame yourself. I won't have it.

(A scarred hand rises shakily to wipe at Finwë's tears. He hates seeing them; he hates being the cause of them.)

I accept my blame. My brothers deserved a far better leader. (The sob has him scrambling to hold his grandfather tighter.) Finno saved me from Morgoth. He is the one who cut my hand to release me from that hell forged shackle.

They needed me. Your father- I saw the madness and I couldn't stop it. [He held onto Maedhros, needing to feel that he was there and that he was real.]

Our little Finno? [Despite the tears he smiled. Fingon had always been so bright and precious but he had his father's strength inside of him. Finwe had never doubted that.] He didn't tell me...instead he smiled and made cake.

[but that was Fingon though.]

We could not either. (He looks down guiltily, mourning what he could not do for his Atar. Mad or not, Fëanor had his love.) Atar was part of the fleet briefly. He was sane. Kano and I did not wish to let him go.

(His lips quirk with tired affection.) Yes. He traveled to the Thangorodrim, searching for me. King Manwë must have taken pity on him; he sent Lord Thorondor to aid him in his mission.

I am sorry I could not see him.

[He kissed the side of his grandson's head softly, closing his eyes.] I must thank him for being so brave. He always loved you so much and I am sure he still does.

(Maedhros leans into the affection, closing his eyes too.)

He would benefit from more time with you. If he made his way here once, he may do so again.

(He smiles genuinely.)

Finno does not hide his love very well. (Or at all.) He was singing at the base of the Thangorodrim. That is how I heard him.

I have my grandsons though, and for that I am happy.

[He held Maedhros closer, not caring that they were still kneeling in the middle of the corridor.]

No, he definitely doesn't hide his love but that is who he is. And I know just how much you love him in return.

We are joyful to have you, Grandfather. (Even if he seems broken and wary, Maedhros loves that Finwë is here.)

He is not my favorite cousin for naught.

I know there is much I have missed but I will let you all tell me in your own time. Forgive me if I cause you any pain though, that is not my intention.

You do not cause me pain at all. (He frowns, stubborn and pale, gritting his teeth.) I caused my woe and I must live with it.

Maitimo- [Finwe gently touched his grandson's cheek.] I caused your woe, you should hate me. But I am here now, you don't need to bear this burden alone.

I cannot. I will not. (His voice is forced and he speaks in broken Quenya.) If I can bring you joy then perhaps I am not useless.

You could never be useless, Maitimo. [He gathered Maitimo close into his arms, kissing his forehead.] You are still so precious to me.

I can be dangerous, which is worse than useless. (The hug feels good and warm. He closes his eyes at the kiss and nuzzles his nose and brow against Finwë's neck.)

If ever you want me to leave you be, all you need do is ask.

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