driftfleet | Autumn - 1st | broadcast + action

Who: Juno and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide video
Action: Cirrusa City (if you want), SS Huntress
When: Now!

[ Broadcast (Cirrusa City) ]

[The camera zeroes in something tentacle-y. And fried.]

So I'm obviously in the best place, where they fry everything. Like I think I dropped my watch and they fried that, too.

[The camera turns back to a teenage girl. She's wearing a number of odd-looking accessories, including some shiny clip-on earrings, a hat that stands straight up, some sunglasses. She looks like the most embarrassing tourist in the world.]

I'm in freaking space. This is amazing. I'm like a regular space cadet.

[She's taking this rather well.] Oh, hey. If Leah or Paulie's there, you should totally send me a message, dude.

[She pokes at the fried tentacle thing she ordered. Why did she order this.]

And what the heck's up with me being a security officer? Like what goober looked at all five-one-and-a-half feet o' this and was like 'Hell yeah, this girl is totally competent enough to take down like... monsters and shit!'?

[ Action (SS Huntress) ]

[At the end of the day, Juno walks in, lugging a small sack full of a lot of heavy... junk. Weird statues with googly eyes, a lamp with pink tassels, and tons of junk food. Yeah, she's spending all her money like whoa. The bag rips, and all her things come tumbling out.]

Aw, freakin' poop.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Is she crazy or is there a resemblance? Of course Kitty has a few years on her and almost all of them were of very hard living. Different styling choices. Shorter hair. Also, shorter than she is by a few inches, but it still gives her just enough pause to say something.]

Best fighter I've ever known was only 5'3". [Sorry, everyone on the team who isn't Logan.] People can surprise you.

Are you going to eat that?

[Huh.] Really? That's friggin' awesome. I love people surprises. They're somewhere between a surprise party and a surprise attack.

Heck yeah, I am. [See... she's popping it in her mouth now. And chewing. And swallowing really fast.] Eugh, so squishy!

[Hi, have a tiny kid in a big furry cloak. He's looking at Juno like she's the coolest alien he's seen all day, with all of those accessories.]

I ate fried cotton. [Cotton candy, actually, but he didn't understand the concept.] Is that a squid?

[Oh my god the smol.]

What the good golly molly does fried cotton taste like? Like the fabric of our lives?

[She frowns down at her plate.] I think so? I just pointed at it and they got all excited and gave it to me. So I think I have to eat it now.

Sweet, like cake. It disappears on your tongue, though. The man couldn't tell me how.

[Who is Good Golly Molly? Bran is too overwhelmed to ask.]

I didn't know people ate squids. Aren't the slimy?

Disappears on your tongue? Wait a flipping minute, you mean cotton candy, my small protege.

[Yes, you're her protege already.]

But that was an excellent choice. It disappears when you're freaking awesome, that's how.

And I don't know, little man. I've never eaten one. But new experiences are like cotton candy to the mouth. They're sweet, sweet succulent things that make you grow as a person and learn lessons and then throw up later.

[Which is why she's totally eating this. Any day now.]

[what in the world, child]

Is fried food that good?

It is, it is. Like if you fried vegetables, I would probably actually eat them. It's like God was like 'You can taste what heaven tastes like, but I'm gonna laugh because your arteries will clog faster than you can say any limerick you can think of.'

I . . . do not know what a limerick is. Or arteries, for that matter. But why would they clog?

[the true test of your humor - will it get through to this loser]

[Oh my God, this will be fun.]

A limerick is like a poem, but like Satan wrote it and gave it to children to recite. And arteries are like... I don't know these tubes inside you that have blood in them. And everything good and right in the world clogs them.

[Having Juno explain things is awful. I'm sorry, Tempest.]

[ Obi-Wan doesn't waste any time. He immediately goes and helps her with her things.

. . . Her very strange things. He turns them over his hand before handing it back wordlessly. ]

Height doesn't matter.

[Laura is a teeny tiny weapon of mass destruction, according to some people. Also maybe slightly offended?]

Guess they just let anyone handle the big guns.

[ He's so.... skeptical. Of everything that you are. ]

[ Maglor will hurry over to help when her bag splits.

And stare a little at her... odd collection ]

Are you planning on a collection of some sort, young misstress?

Oh, arteries are part of veins, then? [she knows that much] Everything clogs them?

. . . who is Satan?

[you're in for a wild ride, Juno]

Size has little to do with competency on a battlefield. You simply need to learn how to use your size to your advantage, and their size against them.

Edited 2016-08-21 19:18 (UTC)

Oh. Those are different? The American education system has failed me, I think. Pretty much, though.

[She pauses.]

You know, I could go into a huge theology lesson or something, but Fleet Bible Lessons With Juno sounds like a horrible time. Basically, there's like angels that are great and watch over us supposedly, and one of them was like 'Hey, I'm the baddest bitch in town.' and became the devil - Satan - and goes around doing awful things like giving people wedgies and damning their souls.

I . . . am not sure, now. It is not something I learned in my world, but elsewhere.

[or the player just doesn't understand this stuff either, but details, shh.

She stares at the video before her head tilts, confused. She can't tell if that explains things or not]

I . . . see. So he is a religious figure? The evil one.

[She smiles, taking an item from him.] Hey, gracias, dude. I don't think we've met. I'm Juno, your humble and tiny security officer.

Are you a short person, too? No offense intended. I'm also a teenager whose biggest workout of the day is getting the Cheetos open.

Hey, hey, now. I'm not just anyone. I've totally gone through a life-changing Lifetime movie experience and grown up and stuff.

[She's totally grown up. That's why she's eating this squid and -] EUGH! SLIMY! Yucky...

[She grins, happy to meet a fellow crewmate.] Whoa, 'young mistress'? You're so medieval-ly.

[He asked you a question, Juno.] Oh! Yeah, sort of. I thought I could share with the ship! So, like, if you like anything...

Dude, you should, like, copyright that. That's so motivational. I want to go kick people's asses now.

[Not even joking, man.]

How do I do that?

[ Oh. Sure, okay. That's definitely believable. Excuse Dean if he thinks you're full of baloney..... and now probably going to die of food poisoning. ]

You even know what that is?

[It's okay; this player doesn't really know either shh

Juno nods.]

Bingo.

[She pauses again, curious.] So where are you from, if you don't know about Satan?

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