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[Oh. Um. Shirley's a little flustered by the stream of questions, and she has to scramble to try and answer them all.]

Just a moment! Um...the Merines is a title, and it's given to those who are able to hear the voice of Nerifes, the sea of my own world. The Ferines people follow the will of the sea, and the Merines carries out that will as its agent. For that reason the Merines is seen as the hope of the Ferines, but...well, it's a long story. It's a serious one, too.

[That story is one she wants to share with Sorey as long as he's willing, despite her less than exemplary role in it. Shirley has a few reasons for wanting to meet him, but the fact that she might find someone who also understands the weight of people's hopes and futures is one of the more selfish ones.]

[Ooh boy. 'Serious' story usually means painful story. As much as Sorey loves learning about cultures and history, that this is going to be difficult for Shirley to tell him overrides any potential excitement.]

Ah. All right, I'm listening. [Still attentive, but at least he looks less like he's excited to be in class and more like he's prepared to treat what she has to say with the proper amount of gravity.]

Thank you, Sorey.

[His energy helps, at least. Even if she's not proud of what she has to say next.]

As I said, the Merines hears the voice of the sea and acts as its agent. I'm the first Merines in four thousand years. With my name I carry the hopes of thousands of years of Ferines hopes, and with the power I have as Merines I wanted to make people happy...but until recently, those hopes were focused on the destruction of the land and the Orerines who created it.

[She pauses for a brief second to let that sink in. It's heavy, and she knows it. But that's not her ultimate point so she keeps going before Sorey starts thinking it is.]

I nearly went through it. I wanted to believe that the Ferines and Orerines could live together, but I was too afraid to trust the Orerines enough and I would have killed them all if not for my friends. It's thanks to their support that I was able to change myself and handle the responsibility of being Merines. So now...I am the Merines, but I chose another way to carry out my duty for the good of the Ferines and the Orerines. Instead of destroying one for the other, I'm trying to find a path both can walk along together. And when I heard about the Shepherd from Mikleo, I thought we might have something in common.

[She finishes a little awkwardly, shifting around uncomfortably where she sits to gauge Sorey's reaction. Shirley's learned her lessons about shyness and she's always been dedicated in using her past behavior as an example of what not to do, but no matter how many times she admonishes herself fear of rejection never totally goes away.]

[Oh... It always seems to happen that way, doesn't it? Two different factions, or countries, or species and neither of them trust each other because of their differences. It's everywhere, even in other worlds, even in outer space.]

I think...we do, in terms of what we want to see become of our worlds. [Sorey smiles crookedly.] I think you might've had a much rougher path than I have, though. That's a lot of weight to put on someone's shoulders without consulting them first.

[He gets it. Shirley's very, very relieved right now, and she's able to manage a small smile again.]

It was hard, and I made a lot of mistakes that I regret very much. From what Mikleo told me, though, part of being the Shepherd isn't that much different from the responsibilities I felt as Merines. Do you feel that way?

Mmm. [Sorey nods and offers her a smile too, just as wan as her own. It's not easy.] I think so. I was lucky; I was warned ahead of time how hard it would be. But...Shepherds luckily don't get told to destroy everything at least. I think most seraphim just want to stay away from humans, and I can't really blame them given the state of our world. I'd like to see it change, but it's up to my friends and I to change it so it's harder to realize it past a dream, you know?

I do know. It's only because we were able to calm Nerifes' rage that we're able to work for peace...even now, some Ferines and Orerines still distrust each other because of things that have happened.

[She leans back on her crate, supporting her weight with her arms, and looks at the ceiling as she thinks back to home. Shirley was grim when she described her history as Merines earlier, but now her tone is more hopeful.]

But that change is possible. I've seen it, and I've decided to dedicate my life to making the future I see a reality.

That's amazing... [Sorey draws his knees up and loops his arms around them, beaming at Shirley.] You're such a strong person, Shirley. I'm positive you'll see your dream come true.

[It's nice to hear, and the praise makes her feel good. But it doesn't feel right without qualifiers - not yet.]

I wasn't strong when I nearly went on with destroying the land. But I'm stronger now than I used to be, because I made sure to learn from my mistakes. And I have the support of all my friends, of course. So...yeah. I believe that I can do it, little by little.

[She sits back up to look at Sorey again, feeling more confident now.]

I think you can do it with seraphim and humans, too. Don't make the same mistakes I did. Just be honest with yourself and your friends, even if it's hard, and things will turn out much better in the end.

I will surely heed your words!

[no but seriously:] Thank you for telling me your story. I'm sorry if Mikleo made you feel like you had to; he worries so much, sometimes. But I'm grateful all the same. It's a lot to deal with but I've been very, very blessed with support right from the beginning.

Edited 2016-09-09 16:07 (UTC)

[Sorey. Why. Though Shirley surely can't help but smile anyway despite the pun.]

Mikleo told me about you, but I wanted to meet you for myself too. I don't have many people now, who understand what I mean when I talk about being the Merines. Like I said, I know it's not the same thing as being a Shepherd, but...it's still nice.

[what do you mean 'despite']

No, I agree with you! I've- well, you've definitely had more of a wait than I have, but there aren't any other Shepherds in my world either, so I know what you mean. It can be a little overwhelming. Like, am I doing this right? Even when I'm told there's no right or wrong way. Although I suppose in your case, it's more like, I shouldn't do this the 'right' way, huh?

I think it was more like...changing what I thought right was supposed to be. But that was scary too, at first.

[She nods, because he's definitely hit on something familiar.]

I don't need the full powers of the Merines anymore, but I have a different kind of power now that people look to me as the Merines and as the Ferines ambassador. I've been trying my best to learn what I think I need, but there's no precedent for it among the Ferines. So I'm never entirely sure if I'm doing that right, either.

[Sorey nods along vigorously with that. changing the way you think is pretty terrifying, after all.]

You know what though? Sometimes it's nice not to have a precedent. I don't want to get ahead of myself but I always wonder if someone will hear about this hundreds of years later and use my journey as a lesson. Then, even if people like us screw up a little bit, it's okay. If we don't learn from it, someone else will. So if you think about it, even making mistakes is benefiting the world, too.

I...never thought about it that way. I can't even imagine what it will be like hundreds of years from now.

[When will there be another Merines, after her? They used to be much closer together, until the Cataclysm and the four thousand year gap. Hard to know what that means for her successors, and what will fall on them.]

I guess the mistakes I've already made are certainly something to learn from, if the next Merines is able to hear about them.

[Grins.] Got anybody lined up to write the book of your travels, yet?

The book of my travels?

[That's a new one.]

Oh yeah! Biographies and autobiographies are invaluable sources of information for historians and archeologists. Official records are often biased or even changed entirely to fit the political climate of the time, but things like journal entries and personal accounts can help shine light onto what actually happened during times of civil unrest and war.

That...makes sense.

[Shirley never received much of an education as a kid, but it matches up with the books she's studied on the Fleet.]

Maybe I should start keeping a journal, then, if I want to pass my thoughts onto the next Merines.

I think that's a great idea. Especially if you have anybody else who'd also like to keep a journal! Then future historians could corroborate what was happening.

I'd personally love to read it, if you ever published it. Not that I'll ever get the chance, but just so you know. The interest is definitely there.

Well, I don't mind telling you instead. Especially if you could learn from what happened to me.

~~[Lesson 1: don't get kidnapped.]~~

What if I transcribed what you told me? Unless you don't want it written down at all. [can he take notes]

No, I don't mind at all. I don't think it's useful to keep secrets like that.

[Except for that one time Senel asked her about her festival wish. Despicable.]

Then that'd be great! Maybe we'll get lucky and you'll be able to take it home with you when you go. [when.] It'll be easier to write a book with it already half-written. Plus, I can't deny, I'm really interested in the Ferines and Orerines cultures and history.

[The when is nice, honestly, since Shirley's well aware of how long she's been away from home. In the meantime, Sorey's hit on something else that sounds very appealing.]

Well, I'm interested in hearing about the Shepherd and the seraphim. I think things will work out just fine.

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