driftfleet | (no subject)

[ he tries to take a discrete but soothing breath. ]

[She is very aware. She finishes the song and just watches him.] I love you, Winn. You're safe with me.

I know I am.

[ he doesn't doubt that. despite the fact the fleet is full of powerful and dangerous people, never has he doubted kitty's ability to keep him safe, if she happens to be around when he's in danger. ]

I wasn't scared. [ okay, he was, but not nearly as much as he thought he'd be. it was just a back-of-the-mind sort of fear, should the atroma decide to glitch sascha again. ]

What were you feeling?

[ the thought of telling her is stressful too. what if she'll think less of him? it'll seem so stupid if he wasn't afraid, won't it? will she understand? ]

Stressed. Overwhelmed. [ pressured, cornered. but how can he say that without seeming like he's pointing a finger? ]

[She doesn't think there's any wrong way to feel. She just wants to understand so maybe she can begin to help.]

Did you feel like that before we found out about Bigby or after?

After.

[ because suddenly he felt obligated to offer comfort and agree to all these things that he's really not sure he's ready for. and he'll do them, he'll do them happily, but he's not sure he'll cope with them in any remotely healthy manner. ]

Was it seeing me hug him or giving him comfort when you were still dealing with your own?

No, [ he shakes his head, though he wasn't a fan of that, not after that attempted kiss. seeing the way he buried himself in her neck kind of makes his crazy. ] it's having to do it myself.

[ hold his hand, promise to come, to be available at all hours when sleep is a precious and rare commodity for him, tell him he can come over, vacating his own personal safe space to the person who made him feel unsafe in the first place. it was too much too fast this was supposed to be a first meeting, that's what he was preparing himself for, not...this.

he hates having to say it. he feels like a shitty person. but why, he wouldn't expect say cisco to do this for him if he glitched and tried to kill him. ]

You felt like you had to offer him things you weren't ready for? I was trying to only speak for myself. [But of course Winn chimed in. That heart of his gets him into trouble.]

I know. You didn't do anything wrong.

[ but he couldn't just stand there with his mouth shut watching them and doing nothing. ]

Can I do anything to help? I could tell Sascha it only applies to me?

[ shaking his head is kind of awkward in this position, but he's reluctant to move. too comfortable. ]

Just...be okay with me going to Hank's if he needs to come over?

[ that's his safest bet of someone who'd be awake at those hours. ]

I could just go to him so you don't have to go anywhere.

It's fine I don't own these ships.

[ and even if he did he wouldn't ban sascha from them. ]

Hank could probably use the company too. [ he's constantly worried about him, this'll give him an excuse to check in on him in what's probably the more vulnerable time of day. ]

I won't stop you. I'd just like to decide together if it comes up. But I wouldn't ask you to stay. [He'd be welcome if he wanted to but she'd probably check a couple of times that he was sure at this point.]

I just don't think I can handle him in my room in the middle of the night yet.

[ he still has those nightmares most nights. he's now going to go to bed tense every night, expecting one of their comms to ring at any moment. ]

Done. What more can I do? I want to help.

[ he smiles a little and takes one of her hands, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to her palm. ]

This helps.

[ honestly, he's almost overwhelmed by how good she's being to him right now. ]

I'm here all night. [And for as long as he wants her.] I could sing Itsy Bitsy Spider next. I know all the words.

[ he chuckles softly. ]

Go for it.

[That gets a surprised bark of laughter. Really? Well, okay.]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the water spout. [Creeping her fingers through his hair.]

Down came the rain and washed the spider out. [Fingers slip out of hair.]

Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. [Waves her hand over his hair because that's how the sun works.]

And the Itsy Bitsy Spider climbed up the spout again. [Creeping back through his hair.]

[ he will take her up on most silly things. they're an excellent distraction, even if the last person who sang that to him, well...

he smiles and claps. ]

Excellent rendition.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm very good. [Not compared to him she's not!]

You really are.

[ it's at moments like these that very fleetingly he thinks it might not be completely 1000% horrifying to have a kid someday. kitty is obviously going to be good at it, at least. ]