'ɓเɠ ɠαყ' รσ૨εყ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
monolike) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-09-18 04:16 pm
monolike) wrote in driftfleet2016-09-18 04:16 pm
Entry tags:
voice;
Who: Sorey
Broadcast: Huntress only!
Action: Iskaulit & Huntress
When: 9/16
Huntress crew, this is your first mate, Sorey. ...due to certain circumstances, we are currently without a Captain. I'm acting as Captain now to fill the role, but if there are any interested parties, please contact me at your soonest convenience.
In the meantime, if there's anything that requires tending to, please don't hesitate to let me know. Any supplies we're short on, any concerns you may have about the status of the ship...I know we're at full capacity now, so if we start taking on extra passengers again we'll have to double up. And I'm also the ship's engineer, so please bring any technical problems you have to me.
...thank you...to everyone who has been looking after the ship for the past couple weeks.
[Sorey can be found both in engineering on the Huntress and at the Interfaith center on the Iskaulit. If your character can sense spiritual power and has run into him before, they may notice him lacking his usual protective/cleansing domain.]
Broadcast: Huntress only!
Action: Iskaulit & Huntress
When: 9/16
Huntress crew, this is your first mate, Sorey. ...due to certain circumstances, we are currently without a Captain. I'm acting as Captain now to fill the role, but if there are any interested parties, please contact me at your soonest convenience.
In the meantime, if there's anything that requires tending to, please don't hesitate to let me know. Any supplies we're short on, any concerns you may have about the status of the ship...I know we're at full capacity now, so if we start taking on extra passengers again we'll have to double up. And I'm also the ship's engineer, so please bring any technical problems you have to me.
...thank you...to everyone who has been looking after the ship for the past couple weeks.
[Sorey can be found both in engineering on the Huntress and at the Interfaith center on the Iskaulit. If your character can sense spiritual power and has run into him before, they may notice him lacking his usual protective/cleansing domain.]
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When I talked to Dezel, all he wanted to do was help you. I know he wasn't ashamed of you at all. But...it is hard, facing people when you're ashamed of yourself. Not just hard, really. It's frightening. I understand.
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I wanted to be different. That they're all forgiving me- That's worse. It's worse.
Seraphim are so used to- to being disappointed. [Sorey drops his head into his hands, shoulders shaking.] I didn't want to be yet another human who'd let them down...!
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Living up to everyone's expectations is a heavy burden. It's even harder when they're your friends. But everyone forgives you because they know you. Your mistakes have turned out very badly...but I think they still believe in the kind of person you are, despite that. I know I do.
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The seraphim, especially. They spend their lives suffering at the hands of malevolence, and the humans who create it. There are good moments too, but sometimes Sorey doesn't know how he's supposed to believe in the human race now, after everything, when it seems like every problem the world has stems from them.]
...Shirley. When you heard the voice of Nerifes...what did it say?
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Nerifes had been waiting four thousand years for me to finish what the previous Merines started. The Orerines who defiled the sea by creating land, and committed countless atrocities against the Ferines...Nerifes had allowed them its blessing before, but no longer. The sea was full of rage and vengeance, and I as Merines had finally returned to fulfill my duty. It was time to restore things to the way they should be.
[Her voice cracks slightly, and unconsciously her arms tighten a little around Sorey. None of this is anything she didn't already know, but it had been a time of high emotions for her. She hasn't even mentioned Fenimore, not because she wants to hide what happened but because she doesn't know where to start.]
That's what it told me, when I underwent the Rite of Accession. Nerifes is powerful, and so are its voice and its will. It was easy to get lost in it, especially back then. Who I was or who my friends were didn't matter, and at the time I wanted that. I didn't know who to trust. Even if I knew what I was doing might be wrong...I didn't know what was right, either. So I tried to believe that what Nerifes and the Ferines wanted was right instead.
[She's not sure if that helps Sorey. Chances are being a hellion is different than being Merines. But she's seen her friends consumed by their own doubts during the business with Schwartz, and she can relate to that well enough.]
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It sounds terrifying, feeling a thing greater than yourself pushing you into something you're not. Sorey's malevolence might've started out small, nurtured by his own personal insecurities, but it grew into a monster too great to control and had consumed him, in the end. If Nerifes speaking to Shirley was anything like that, then his heart really goes out to her. Especially since it wasn't even her fault.]
Sorry if that was painful to recall, [he says, and squeezes her again, drawing back far enough to hold her hands between them.] ...but thanks for telling me.
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It's something I've thought about many, many times. I was ashamed of myself after my friends saved me. I had to think long and hard about what I'd done, and what I needed to do to avoid repeating the same mistakes. That's how I was able to start moving forward again after everything. And...I want to help you do the same, if I can.
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Shirley, I- [Sorey clenches his jaw hard.] Because of what I did, M-Mikleo-... [He can't imagine a world where he recovers from this. He can't imagine a future where he forgives himself for this. How is he supposed to move on without Mikleo? How is he supposed to want to live, to move forward, without him?]
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[Shirley squeezes back, bowing her head towards him. She can relate to Sorey on a lot of things, but this is one thing she doesn't know how to help him with. The best she can think of is Fenimore or life without Senel, and - well. That's bad enough.]
I...I'm sorry.
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He takes a deep breath before slowly picking his head back up.] Thank you...so much, for coming to check on me. And- and I know you don't want an apology, but...but I'm sorry. For not taking your warnings as seriously as I should have.
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[That sounds scarily enough like a goodbye when Shirley doesn't want to leave just yet. She can't fix anything that's happened, but she doesn't want to leave him alone either. Shirley remembers how much that hurt with Fenimore, and they'd only been friends a day.
Of course, it's Fenimore who gives her an idea of what to say next.]
I'm not mad. I know what it's like, a little bit. And because of that...Sorey, we're friends, aren't we?
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[Her voice is a little shaky, because of course she misses Fenimore a lot. But when Shirley imagines her there with them, it's a little easier to get the words out.]
I don't know how to make things better. I wish I did. But if a friend to cry with will help, I can do that much.
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[Sorey stops himself. He hasn't spent enough time listening to people; that's the first thing he should rectify. And though just hearing her offer her friendship and comfort just makes him want to cry all over again, he bites his lip to hold it in. Half because he's sick of crying, and half because he wants to get this out.]
Thank you, [he whispers instead. He can't read her heart like this, bereft of all his Shepherd powers, but maybe he's gotten a little too comfortable with that. Maybe he's forgotten how to just trust people.] I'll...I may end up relying on you a lot, but...thank you.
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[Right, Fenimore?]