driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Anyone who wants to hang on the Iskaulit
Broadcast: nah
Action: Iskaulit mingle, darlings
When: All day every day (at least for the month)

[We're drifting, so it's a perfect time to make use of the many fine establishments on our common ship.]

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[ Obi-Wan nods, partly in understanding and partly to show that he's listening. ]

It's certainly an important factor. I also witnessed two very different histories taking place and it had made me wonder what changed and why?

In the end, I realized it didn't matter what or why. Only that I wish to change it.

I didn't realize I actually had some chance of changing things. I just... I could believe that the future was always in motion so long as I couldn't speak to someone who had already experienced it. But then it felt as though it stopped. As though there was no hope of changing anything.

[ she shakes her head, trying to get her words in order. ]

Ahsoka's been trying to give me a chance to change my future, it's why she's allowed me to even be around her. Anakin might have been, too, in his own way. [ ah, anakin. just similar enough that their differences clash in the worst way. they've grown since ansion, technically, but they still have their sensitivities. something on her face seems to show that she's just realizing this. ] I just didn't realize it. I thought they were... reminding me that what I wanted was impossible. I thought it was cruel but I wasn't seeing things properly.

[ He's not surprised the message got lost in translation. For all their directness, Ahsoka and Anakin often need a moment to breathe and restructure their arguments. Though there's no denying results in plowing ahead. ]

But do you believe it?

Yes. [ but there's an air of automatic agreement to that, so she reconsiders. ] Maybe. I don't think there's a way to know for sure if anything can be changed. But whether or not I can change the future is merely academic so long as I'm here. I only have control over the person that I am now and... And I think that just how much I was letting their memories of me influence that is a sign of how much I needed to step back and think about who I am here.

[ Obi-Wan absorbs that with his arms folded. ]

I think that's enough. For anyone.

You think?

[ she looks up at obi-wan a moment, expression hesitant, before she gaze goes back to her hands in her lap. ]

Not that it's any easier to articulate who I am or what I want to be, of course, but I know what parts of being a Jedi I still want to hold myself to. We're capable of so much good, even for all the bad we had our hands in.

[ His gaze doesn't waver, not even a little. ]

Articulation is often the hardest part. What feels right and what doesn't? Where is the line? Being a Jedi doesn't mean the questions stop. Even for Masters. I don't think you're wrong for trying to find the answers and the parts that best suit you.

I appreciate hearing that, Master. The only parts of this that have been easy have been when I've been able to do what comes naturally, what every part of me wants to do before I even think of it. Helping with the garden here or the meditation spaces back in the last system, helping or healing people as they need someone... I don't even have to think about any of that to know that it feels right.

[ but the jedi became more than that in her lifetime and that's been the issue all along. ]

Because those are our roots. And we've been led away.

[ It sounds like an excuse so he stops himself, folding his arms. The only real sign of frustration Obi-Wan would display. ]

Away from our galaxy, we can return to what we used to be.

We can. I like to think I have, even if using the title of Jedi doesn't feel quite right.

[ not with anakin and ahsoka and everyone else so aware of what she's done in some variation of the future. ]

I only wish this would have been possible at home.

[ Obi-Wan doesn't like the word inevitable. It goes against everything he stands for. But he also can't shake the feeling of it closing around them. The game - Palpatine's war had made them feel helpless, even galaxies away.

It rankles. ]

We all do. Perhaps we can bring what we've learned back and change the outcome.

I hope so.

[ she's had variations of this conversation a few times now, but she's never really been sold on what might happen when she's no longer with this fleet. now, though, the words come out more confident than before, bolstered by obi-wan's presence. ]

We don't really know how Atroma technology works or how this will affect all of us later on, but if we can remember this, if we can take back what we learn here and try to change anything at all about the end of the war... I think that's something to keep us going, isn't it? It's something to keep me going, at least. I know I can't save the Jedi, but I think I can save myself. Maybe a few others too, if I'm smart.

Then save yourself Barriss.

[ He exhales softly. ] That'll be enough.

[ If something survives, beyond Obi-Wan, he could rest easier. ]

[ that earns a long silence from barriss, not sure what to say, so just letting herself breathe in the silence as she searches for words. luminara, eternally patient, would always have preferred honest words to quick ones and barriss is finally getting back to thinking about what her master would say to her, after weeks of trying to avoid it. ]

I hope that it will be. [ her voice is extra soft when she finally does speak. ] I can always help to fix things later, so long as I don't lose my way.

[ He reaches out to grasp her shoulder. An intimate form of contact, from one Jedi to another. ]

Having a later is always a privilege.

[ the touch is surprising, but barriss draws strength from it, giving obi-wan a nod. ]

Then I'll make sure that I do. All thanks to you and Ahsoka.

[ He squeezes it lightly before pulling back. ]

And yourself. May the Force be with you.

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