(no subject)

[castrationfist]

Who: Caster, everyone, and one unfortunate victim.
Broadcast: Text! Anonymous text. She's so sneaky.
Action: On the Vanquish!
When: Backdated to yesterday, the 19th!

[Bright and early in the morning, there's an anonymous text post flagged as urgent to the network. Does the network even have urgent flags? It apparently does now. Magic is great.]

ATTENTION, FLEET:
Today is the birthday of an incredibly amazing and talented person! The Vanquish's very own Hermione Granger!
It seems like she's keeping it secret, because she's humble along with everything else, but that won't do at all! People of importance have to be recognized!
So, be sure to shower her plenty of love and praise today, and also gifts! Birthday presents are important too!
All celebrators are to come to the Vanquish immediately!
This is how birthdays work, right?

Comments

[castrationfist]

Wait, really?
I mean, I like flashy displays of excess as much as anyone, but isn't that a little much?

[preformthisneigh]

Wellll, maybe we'll bring a little LESS than a literal ton.

Like a quarter of a ton.