driftfleet | ii - action/video

Who: Eugene Woods
Broadcast: Video
Action: the Wonderduck
When: Tuesday Evening

[Eugene has been on a ship full of teenagers long enough - it's time he delivered on the promises to actually feed them adequately. Which is why he's now broadcasting from the galley, flour-speckled and far, far too pleased with himself. So pleased, in fact, that he'll just go ahead an monologue at the rest of the fleet.]

Some of you out there may have heard a saying, that there's no such thing as bad pizza. Now maybe you haven't heard this - say, for instance, if you come from a world that doesn't actually have pizza. But if you do, this is probably a pretty common truism. Whether you agree with it or not-? Well. That's a matter of taste.

[Pun fully intended, as the little curl of his lips and glint of his eye gives away. But he continues, because in space, there's no one to cue a laugh track.]

But in a hermetically-sealed tin can drifting through the cold vacuum of space, I think we can all agree that standards change. And in celebration of finally creating something that sort of, basically behaves like cheese . . .

[Camera pan to the oven, which he opens with a showman's flourish to reveal . . . a pizza! Basically. Sure, the cheese is a little more yellowish than usual, and the toppings are mostly diced canned meat product and mixed vegetable compound. But it's close enough for him to grin as he shuffles a hand into an oven mitt and withdraws his creation to rest on the stovetop.]

Voila. One down, and another five pies' worth of dough and cheese ready for the crews of the Wonderduck and Vanquish. Not exactly a New York slice, but hey, if anyone wants the next best thing this side of Alpha Centauri? Let's talk.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

White pizza is a thing.

I'm surprised nobody has ever shown up here with like, a tomato sandwich or something.

Okay, first of all? White pizza made with canola oil, processed cheese, garlic powder, and zero fresh ingredients is maybe the grossest, most depressing food idea I have heard yet, and my last universe was years into a zombie apocalypse.

Also, the first person to show up with a tomato sandwich is so getting mugged for it. Calling it now.

Edited 2016-09-28 22:05 (UTC)

Space beggars can't be space choosers, man?

[Also Chloe is high a lot and will eat anything at that point.]

Don't need the whole sandwich, just the seeds. Seeds are a fuckin' miracle around here, trust me.

[This space beggar will absolutely be a space chooser. One who is choosy enough to look a little wistful at even the suggestion of a tomato plant.]

I noticed. Is there much garden space besides what's on the Iskaulit?

Not unless you make it yourself.

[Which was what she had done. For reasons.]

I knew a girl who could make copies of stuff, she made me some pots and junk I needed. But she's gone.

Mm. Bummer.

[Which is said sympathetically. Making copies of things sounds like a great superpower to have in a place like this.]

So you're in the gardening scene too, huh? What's your thing?

[Please be basil. Or cilantro. Or hell, chives even.]

Uh.

[Sorry man.]

I lean more towards the...recreational side of the plant world...

[. . . oh. Oh.

Well, nice to see there are some home comforts in the fleet. Even if tomatoes aren't one of them.]

Hah, gotcha. Not the herb I'm looking for on this particular project. [He's not going to press it, even if he really, really wants to know if there's even a way to smoke inside of a spaceship.]

Did you want to try the pizza anyway? There's another traditional in the oven, and curry and satay pies on-deck.

[Just trust in the future ventilation system and don't ask too many questions, is Chloe's attitude.]

Never tried to put it on pizza...dunno how that'd work, really.

[She snickers.]

Sure. Gotta find my way over there, but I'm sure I can figure something out.

[Put it on pizza? Total waste. Someone's getting the brownie recipe he figured out ages ago.]

Let me know when you're inbound for the Wonderduck, I'll come meet you in the cargo bay.

Sure.

[After she cons someone into flying her over, he'll get a text message a couple minutes before she comes tromping into the airlock.]

[That's just enough warning time to have Eugene walking into the cargo bay at about the same time. Sort of clanking in, honestly, because the hooked foot on the end of his metal leg isn't nearly as quiet as its shoe-clad brother.]

Hey! [He swings up, offering his hand.] Eugene Woods.

[She was not expecting a peg leg, so it gets a glance before she grins at him and reaches out to shake his hand.]

Yo. Chloe Price.

Nice to meet you. [Formally. In person. He doesn't sweat the technicalities much, letting go of her hand and gesturing for her to follow him back into the ship. Hopefully one of his crewmates haven't made away with the rest of the pizza.] So how long have you been in the fleet?

[She tromps after him, looking around as she goes.]

Uh. ...fuck. Six months? A little longer. You?

Almost year on the Vanquish, several months mysteriously vanished, then back again for the last two months or so here. Weird, right?

Yeah that's pretty nuts. [She said as she followed along after him.]

I don't think I'll have to worry about it, at least. I'm stuck here for good.

For good? How do you figure that?

Call it...wishful thinking?

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