survivalistcookbook: (grin down)
Eugene Woods ([personal profile] survivalistcookbook) wrote in [community profile] driftfleet2016-09-27 10:31 pm

ii - action/video - open

Who: Eugene Woods
Broadcast: Video
Action: the Wonderduck
When: Tuesday Evening

[Eugene has been on a ship full of teenagers long enough - it's time he delivered on the promises to actually feed them adequately. Which is why he's now broadcasting from the galley, flour-speckled and far, far too pleased with himself. So pleased, in fact, that he'll just go ahead an monologue at the rest of the fleet.]

Some of you out there may have heard a saying, that there's no such thing as bad pizza. Now maybe you haven't heard this - say, for instance, if you come from a world that doesn't actually have pizza. But if you do, this is probably a pretty common truism. Whether you agree with it or not-? Well. That's a matter of taste.

[Pun fully intended, as the little curl of his lips and glint of his eye gives away. But he continues, because in space, there's no one to cue a laugh track.]

But in a hermetically-sealed tin can drifting through the cold vacuum of space, I think we can all agree that standards change. And in celebration of finally creating something that sort of, basically behaves like cheese . . .

[Camera pan to the oven, which he opens with a showman's flourish to reveal . . . a pizza! Basically. Sure, the cheese is a little more yellowish than usual, and the toppings are mostly diced canned meat product and mixed vegetable compound. But it's close enough for him to grin as he shuffles a hand into an oven mitt and withdraws his creation to rest on the stovetop.]

Voila. One down, and another five pies' worth of dough and cheese ready for the crews of the Wonderduck and Vanquish. Not exactly a New York slice, but hey, if anyone wants the next best thing this side of Alpha Centauri? Let's talk.
arfvader: (sphincter is an asshole)

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[personal profile] arfvader 2016-09-29 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Ravi - just as cognizant about the fourth wall but somewhat lacking in the subtlety department when he's excited - has the biggest grin as he bobs his head up and down like an overeager parrot.]

Nothing!

[He does manage to catch himself and clears his throat a little.]

... or so he led me to believe. I didn't get the impression he was too thrilled about his engineering augment.
arfvader: (i ulna want to be with you)

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[personal profile] arfvader 2016-09-30 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, he seemed the most enthused of my three shipmates about having a cook on board.

[He raises his eyebrows, because "enthused" is probably a strong word for Jon Snow and he suspects this guy understands where he's coming from.]

I did warn him there would probably be at least three weeks before I got anything remotely edible to the table. So if you can help speed up that process in any way, I'm sure we'd all be exceedingly grateful!
arfvader: it's the only culture some people have (support bacteria!)

video;

[personal profile] arfvader 2016-09-30 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
My schedule is clear! Loyal crew member that I am, I have decided to devote my time to mastering my skills in the kitchen before I move onto other things.

[The other things being working on campaigning for recreation upgrades, because the lack of video games in space? Has been one of the few things to put a damper on Ravi's excitement for this whole thing.]

And I'd be happy to introduce our culinary savior to my fellow crew mates, if they're around! Always good to make new friends, yeah?

[This is absolutely not a significant look about a specific crew mate.]
arfvader: the man on the flying trapezius (main act in an anatomical circus?)

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[personal profile] arfvader 2016-10-02 07:52 am (UTC)(link)
We can form a club! And call it "The Regular Folks' Who Might Require Protection In The Future" Club! Or something shorter, I'm open to suggestions.

[Is this a cover story to possibly help them meet more exceptionally cool pop culture figures? The world will never know.]

Uh, basically everything I've tried has been an utter disaster. The crew have pretty much left me to experiment as I see fit, which may have been their first mistake.
arfvader: (don't want none unless you got bunsen)

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[personal profile] arfvader 2016-10-04 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
Sounds great! I look forward to welcoming you aboard our ship!
arfvader: these jokes are kind of rotten (like an organ not in formaldehyde)

Video;

[personal profile] arfvader 2016-10-04 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Ravi Chakrabarti, aboard the SS Three Twins!