"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now


Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]


Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

Comments

[exothermia]

[He lets out a breath. He doesn't particularly want to shift the attention onto himself, but there's no other reason not to give the number.]

Eight.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda blinks at him several times, hardly believing what she just heard.]

Eight times?

I- [Wanda seems to be struggling with what she should say.][She hesitates again, again wrestling with herself over how to phrase her words.]

How did you... how were you able to keep on going each time?

[exothermia]

[It's been years since he's really thought about those times. These days, he's preoccupied with the deaths of his family, while he's been left alive once again. He shakes his head after a moment, expression clouded.]

Because I had to. There were things that had to be done... people I had to protect. [He stumbles for a moment, a fresh wave of guilt at the fact he had failed in that task when it mattered most. When it was the real world, and people who died stayed dead.] I won't say it didn't affect me, because it did. But there's no real alternative.

You're alive now. That's the part that matters.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda takes a moment to think on Erik's words.]

People you had to protect...

[The faces of her friends her in the fleet flash in her mind. Wanda then gives a slow nod of the head.]

It's not so easily shaken off though, is it? This... this feeling that comes from knowing what it feels like... to die...

[exothermia]

No. It isn't. Time will dull it, but it won't ever go away entirely. Much like anything else.

[Like any kind of loss. His expression goes distant for a moment, knowing that he's been told similar things before and only sometimes believes it. Some things fade for him, only to be reignited years down the track. Others... stay fresh.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda looks somewhat disappointed by Erik's words, and yet... they are not exactly unexpected. That is, she knows what he is saying is a truth. This experience... dying... it will not be something that she ever fully forgets. It is a part of her now. Moving forward, it is not about discarding the memory, but about not allowing it to keep her from what is still more important -- protecting those she cares about.]

[There's a heavy sigh from her. She then gives Erik a small, gracious smile followed by an appreciative nod of the head.]

[She's quiet for a moment before she then asks hesitantly:]

Does... does anyone else know about... what happened to you?

[exothermia]

[He nods soberly.]

Charles, and Hank. They were present for much of it.

[And there are others who know from being in the same place, and perhaps he had told Kitty that he's died before... but it's Charles and Hank who really know.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[She studies Erik's face as he speaks and for an extra second or two after. A small grin makes its way to Wanda's lips.]

You two are close, aren't you? You and Charles.

[exothermia]

[There's a brief pang in his heart. They were close, but in so many ways they were further apart than they had ever been. Erik may spend time with Charles most days, yet it's a pale imitation of the way things used to be. In response, he just nods.]</small We've known each other for over twenty years now, and been through a lot of the same things. ... he was the first other mutant I ever met.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Twenty years...

[The grin lingering on her face.]

That sounds like enough time to get know someone well enough.

And Hank?

[exothermia]

[Any response he could give would be far too loaded with history. So instead he answers her new query.]

I've known Hank just as long, though we haven't been as close.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda nods.]

I imagine it was a relief to have them alongside you while going through all this...

[Though, in her case, both Vision and Pietro were currently comatose, and Misty seemed to be avoiding her at the moment. It all made Wanda suddenly feel very, very alone. Her expression mirroring her inner thoughts, as Wanda looks about ready to breakdown.]

[exothermia]

[He doesn't respond to that. Doesn't say that it wasn't always a relief, because they would die just as often, or at different times. But having that shared understanding... that was invaluable. And Erik can see in Wanda's face, the way it shifts towards something shakier, that she's lacking that.

The part of him that keenly misses his daughter, being a parent, can hardly bear it. Wanda is not his child; he knows this. He is still a father though. At times like this, he finds he still behaves like one.

After a moment, he reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. He doesn't prompt her to respond in anyway - that's for her to decide, if she wants more closeness or support.]

Wanda. It's all right to break.

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[She tenses when he touches her shoulder. It's a final attempt by her to try and keep it all down. All the pain and emotions she's feeling. But it's finally just too much. It's like a damn breaking as her shoulders relax, sag and start to shake. Her sobbing starts becoming more audible, and she buries her face in her hands. A futile effort to try and hide the tears that are now streaming down her face, between her fingers, and over the backs of her hands. Taking this all so far on her own, it's been far, far too hard.]

[exothermia]

[Erik says nothing else, no words of comfort. Instead, he loops his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in quietly. It's hard to watch, this breaking of spirit. He wonders if he ever looked like this after dying... probably. He definitely did in the days and weeks after his family died.

So words are irrelevant. Reminding Wanda that she isn't alone is what matters.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[She doesn't resist as he pulls in closer for a tighter embrace. In fact, once she's close enough, she turns into his chest, burying her face there. Her hands clinging weakly to the front of his jacket. As her shoulders shake, and the only sound coming out of her are the deep intakes of breath between cascades of tears.]

[exothermia]

[He does nothing more than rub her back slightly. Providing a weight to lean against is the best thing he can do now. These kinds of scars fade with time, and if she's lucky - he hopes she is - this will be her first and only brush with death. He no longer remembers how harrowing it was, the first time he died, because it had happened so often. To have it happen and no one near you understand it was something he had never had to endure.

It's old memories that has him murmur "Jesteś w porządku" while Wanda cries against him, but he has enough presence of mind to fall silent after that.]

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Erik's murmuring causes Wanda to look up at him, a bit surprised to hear him speaking polish. Wanda's polish was not the best, but she knew enough to recognize the sentiment. She again places the side of her head against his chest, giving him a slightly tighter squeeze of thanks.]

"Dziękuję Ci."

[She murmurs back to him.]

[exothermia]

[He stiffens a bit when Wanda responds in kind, not expecting it. It makes his heart ache, to hear that language again. But that was then; this is now. He makes no further move, just lets out a quiet breath and lets Wanda lean on him for as long as she wants.]