"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

[notmutantbutmiracle]

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now


Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]


Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

Comments

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda lets out a deep sigh, crossing her arms.]

I don't believe that's the case with what happened to me, but it has gotten me thinking about... the value of cheating death. What it costs to return something to life. I wonder what kind of debt I owe...

action

[passingthrough]

I think the only thing you can do for it is live the best life you can. I have a feeling you were going to do that anyway.

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda's face gives away nothing as to what she thinks about Kitty's response. When she speaks next though, her tone is more dry, more defeated sounding.]

It seems too easy an answer. Simply continue living as if nothing happened when others never got such a chance. They died, and they stay dead. But not me... right place, right timing... It seems unfair.

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[passingthrough]

Life isn't concerned with being fair. Is it really more fair if bad things happen with you too?

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

My family is dead!

[She finally states it plainly. Her volume rising, her voice now clearly sounding racked with pain, guilt, anger, sadness. All the emotions she's been trying to keep contained are coming spilling out.]

Of the four of us, I am the only one to survive! Every time! I am the one that is still here! WHY?! What makes me so special?! Why not them, too? Why?

[She shakes her head. The tears are falling now. Her volume lowers, and her voice becomes more choked.]

I miss them... so much...

action

[passingthrough]

[She leans forward to pull her into a hug.]

I don't know, Wanda. Same reason I am I guess. [Her family is dead too. She's only alive because she was abducted. And she misses them every day. She gets the pain of it. She wishes she had the answers.]

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Kitty's words cut through Wanda's tantrum in a moment. She turns to look at her friend, tears still falling from her eyes. Kitty wraps her into a hug which she doesn't quite reciprocate right away if only because she's not sure she deserved Kitty comforting her like this after the way Wanda just blew up in front of her.]

The same reason... you-- your family is--?

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[passingthrough]

Murdered when Apocalypse's forces came looking for me. They were collecting mutants. Pretty sure my parents would want me to keep going as much as you family would want it for you. It doesn't make it easy, but it's a thing to remember. [It's gotten her through some of the harder moments.]

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda's hands slowly start to encircle Kitty a little tighter. The tears are still falling, but now they're for both of them. Their respective lost families. Wanda suddenly begins to feel selfish. Pietro was at least here with her now in the Fleet. She closes her eyes, briefly praying that he will wake up soon. That he won't disappear on her again.]

I- I didn't know... But I- I still should not have blown up at you like that...

action

[passingthrough]

I know you didn't. It's okay. No wonder you blow up. It seems like you're always carrying around all this guilt with you.

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda can't respond to that. Kitty's right. She has hit the nail on the head. Perhaps it was because, on some level, Wanda can almost always sense the feelings of others. Even if she is not reading their minds directly, the sensations of emotion radiating off of other people was practically a constant for her. So maybe... maybe that's why she doesn't share. Why she tries to bottle it all up inside. She doesn't want to add her own emotions unnecessarily onto whatever others are already dealing with.]

[Instead, Wanda squeezes Kitty a little tighter. A nonverbal echo to her apology a moment ago.]

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[passingthrough]

I miss my parents every day and I've blown up at more than a few people because of it. Because of all of it. All the loss I carry around with me, not letting it go. It gets heavy and I'd tell you to put it down if I had any idea how. [She doesn't know if this helps or not, but maybe she understands at least?]

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda pulls back from their embrace, just enough for Kitty to see the nod she gives in response. Wanda's eyes still red with tears still trickling down softly.]

I... [Her voice hoarse from crying.] I do not if I could put it down... even if I knew how.

[She's quiet for a moment, sniffing softly, and reaching a hand up to dry away the tears.]

It's... it's all I have left of them... the memories...

action

[passingthrough]

Keep the memories. Let go of the guilt. But again, easier said than done.

...Do you want to see a picture of my parents?

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda blinks at Kitty. Caught off guard once again by her friend's spontaneous and seemingly unlimited capacity for kindness. Wanda nods her head softly.]

Only... only if you are willing to share it.

[It seemed a very personal thing. Wanda knows she treats the picture of her family as deeply, deeply precious. She would not want to impose upon that kind of intimate space of another person.]

action

[passingthrough]

It would be weird to offer if I wasn't. [She smiles softly and reaches up to one of the lockets Winn gave her, opening it to show a photo of her mom and dad. They're still older than she is now, but they're too young looking to be a current photo. They're also tiny by necessity in the small space, but as Winn said she can always wear it and hopefully if she's ever taken somewhere else maybe the things she's wearing will stay with her at least and she won't have to lose it.]

The tree gave it to me at the hand-holding planet. Which, I'm realizing, is a bizarre sentence, but that's how it was. I got a larger photo there. Winn made a copy for the locket.

action

[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda inches back a little closer to Kitty to get a better look at the picture. She smiles softly as she looks at the faces of Kitty's parents. There is a sadness in Wanda's eyes, however; Kitty's parents they seemed so young, so young to have died. Wanda's thoughts drift to memories of her own parents. They had died too young as well.]

[On that note, she sits back a little to better reach into a pocket of her jacket. She pulls out a larger photograph than the one Kitty shared. A Polaroid showing a family of four -- a little girl and boy standing in front of their parents, all four smiling in front a beautiful lake vista through some tall, tall trees.]

It is not so bizarre. I received a picture there as well.

action

[passingthrough]

[She gently shuts the locket again and looks at hers.] Oh, no, is that Pietro? He's so tiny. [She'd say that at any age younger than what she knows him to be now.]

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda's smile grows a little warmer. She nods her head, and wipes away some of her tears with her sleeve.]

Yes. It took a lot for our parents to get him to stand still for even five seconds so they could have the picture taken.

[She giggles a little at the memory.]

He was always so impatient. Even at that young of age.

action

[passingthrough]

Like he was primed for super speed. [She smiles gently.]

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda snorts a little at that.]

"Primed." What does that say about me I wonder?

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[passingthrough]

That you were curious about people? [Best way to put it?]

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda ponders that for a moment. She supposes she had been a fairly nosy child, always interested in wanting to know what her brother or parents or neighbors were up to. She had used to follow Pietro around everywhere.]

I think I always wanted to feel connected to people. Especially to those I cared most about.

action

[passingthrough]

I guess the, uh, stone? found a way to make that happen. [It may be forever weird to her that you're not mutants.]

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[notmutantbutmiracle]

[Wanda thinks on that for a moment. She shrugs. It makes about as much sense as any other explanation she supposed.]

I do not think it is as simple as that, but I also do not think that isn't part of it...

[She shakes her head. Nothing about the origins of her powers, their source, their function was ever simple. She turns her attention back to Kitty.]

What about you? What do you think your abilities say about you?