driftfleet | "My mind's like a deadly disease..."

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"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

Who: Wanda Maximoff
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Starstruck
When: Now

Broadcast - Text

[Wanda's presence, both in the Fleet's comms and aboard its vessels, has dwindled, slowly but surely, over the course of the past month. There was period of time, around the beginning of the month, when she couldn't be found or reached at all--save for by Misty, Vision and Pietro. More perceptive fleet members might recall that her disappearance occurred around the time that rumors of a dragon and its rider terrorizing Solrius were circulating about. However, she did pop back up a little while later, seemingly as though nothing was wrong. However, those that know her well may have picked up the subtle tells that there was something she was not saying. Something that she was trying to bury. And so, she became more and more scarce around the Fleet. At least, until now...]

What do you think happens after death?

[The message is short and simple. Anyone familiar with the festivities of the month of October, perhaps this is simply her way of trying to get into the spirit of things?]

Starstruck - Action

[Friends and shipmates of Wanda's, if they want to go looking for her, will find her either holed up in her bunkroom aboard the Starstruck, or in a corner of the ship's kitchen or shuttle bay at times she thinks no one would typically wander in. By the look on her face, it is clear something is troubling her.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. He's the whole reason I became head of medicine on Atlantis to begin with... because we thought he was dead, so I was appointed to take over his job. But a few years after that, we found out that one of our enemies had cloned him and had been holding him captive. He had all of his memories and everything. That... took some getting used to.

Edited 2016-10-08 15:48 (UTC)

[Wanda is again quiet for a long moment. The look of fear in her eyes only seeming to grow more prominent. They dart back and forth, as though she's searching frantically for something.]

[When she again speaks, her tone is quiet and afraid.]

How would someone know... if they were a clone? If they weren't actually their "real" selves?

[And with that look and tone, Jennifer is now regetting bringing the subject up, even though Wanda HAD asked her about it.]

I guess a lot of it can depend on how it happened and it might be different across worlds. In Carson's case... we knew because several people witnessed the original die and buried his remains. And when we examined him medically... [She hesitated, trying to suss out a way to explain it in a way that was understandable, but not condescendingly so.] Since he was cloned from a man who'd already aged a lot, his cloned body deteriorated quicker.

[Wanda seems to ease somewhat. The mounting fear behind her eyes seeming to dissipate. There were still some worries in her head that Jennifer's words had raised, but the immediate terror now seems largely dissipated.]

[She's quiet for a moment, before she shakes her head and looks away from Jennifer further.]

I'm sorry. I'm making you relive pain needlessly. Just for my own selfishness...

[Jennifer rested a hand on her friend's arm.]

Hey, don't worry about it. I wouldn't have shared this if I wasn't comfortable doing so.

[She turns her head back a little bit towards Jennifer. Enough for her to see a weak smile of gratitude on Wanda's face. She looks down at Jennifer's hand on her arm, but she doesn't seem to find it unwelcome.]

[However, she still seems to be troubled by something. Something that has persisted throughout this conversation that she just has not yet said. Something she's worried about sharing with her friend, worried about scaring her.]

Jennifer, you... you and Dr. Crusher saved me from near death once...

[As she begins, her eyes seem to be searching. Even she is not sure exactly where she is going with this...]

[Jennifer nodded, the memory of that still clear in her mind. When the Iskaulit had first been discovered, and they'd had to kill the infected Nunnilis aboard it. Had it really been more than a year...?]

Yeah... that was the first time we met.

[That brings a small, fleeting smile onto her face, if only for a second. While she naturally wishes it had been under circumstances, it was true that that was the first time they met, and it was soon after they became friends.]

If- if I had died then... but you knew you could bring me back... would you have?

[The question comes out slowly, hesitantly. When she finishes it, Wanda looks up at Jennifer, and there's almost a look of pleading in her eyes.]

[Well, that was a heck of a question, and Jennifer has to stop and think. It was, it seemed, possible for people on the Fleet to die and come back to life. But all the same, the idea was just... unnatural to her. The clone thing had been bad enough. Cheating death, though?]

... I think... it would depend on... if there was a price involved. And what that price was. ... Sorry, I know that's not much of an answer. If it wouldn't cause harm to anyone else... I would save you.

[Wanda shakes her head in response.]

Not anyone else, no.

[There's something about that answer that comes off as not a little foreboding.]

[Jennifer sighed and nodded.]

It's a tough moral dilemma. When I became a doctor, I took an oath to heal, but also to never deliberately cause harm to another person. But the real world doesn't always make situations as clear cut as we'd like.

If a procedure did cause pain-- a lot of pain, but it meant saving a life... you'd still do it?

[She nodded.]

In my mind, there's a difference between the kind of pain caused over the course of healing someone, and the kind of pain that's deliberate- inflicted for the sake of pain and injury. I have a big distaste for the latter. Ideally, I'd be able to fix people without them feeling it at all, but that's not practical, either.

[Wanda smiles a little half-smile at Jennifer's expression of "distaste." But it's merely a flicker that dissipates quickly. Still, Wanda does look markedly less sullen than she did when Jennifer first arrived.]

So sometimes pain is simply... necessary...

[She sighs, knowing that there is natural truth to those words. Yet, it still doesn't fully abate this lingering concern hanging over her.]

For someone to die and then be brought back... if it was done by those that loved them... does that make it all right for them to keep going like nothing has happened?

Yeah. Sometimes you don't have anesthetic readily available, especially in field settings. Sometimes you just need to stop bleeding or set a broken bone before taking it in for proper treatment. That kind of pain is... I guess "necessary" is a proper term for it.

[Jennifer paused again at that question, looking pensive.]

Thing is, I'm not sure you CAN go on like nothing happened. Like, going back to what happened to Carson... we worked together just fine, he went off to travel to different planets and carried on as a doctor, but... we knew he wasn't the same person, in a sense. I can't imagine how it felt from HIS perspective. He took it well as far as I could see. So there is a sense of normalcy afterward, but it's... it's not the same "normal" you had before.

[Wanda is dead silent after Jennifer finishes speaking. Her expression serious yet grave. When she finally speaks, her voice sounds hollow.]

Do I seem "normal" to you?

[The question is delivered so blunt and so flat that it's heard to read how exactly Wanda meant for it to come off. It doesn't help that she seems to now be deliberately avoiding meeting Jennifer's gaze.]

Yeah. I mean, maybe a little more pensive than usual, but it's also a difficult question you're wrestling with.

[That gets a weak smile from Wanda.]

Does that mean you still think of me as the same Wanda?

Absolutely. I can't think of anything that would make me NOT think that.

[Wanda looks at her friend Jennifer. Tears in her eyes, and yet a look of immense gratitude on her face. She then throws her arms around Jennifer, wrapping her friend in a tight embrace. Wanda has not typically been the one in the past to initiate hugs like this, so it may catch Jennifer off guard. Or at least, the sudden amount of Wanda's wait being thrown on her might.]

[Jennifer was surprised, and it took a few seconds before she recovered, even being rocked back a bit, but she held on tight to her friend, closing her own eyes as she felt them welling up.]

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"My mind's like a deadly disease..."

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